Stop complaining and just stay home

amother

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 3:53 pm

I keep seeing letters in newspapers, magazines and Here of people complaining about spending Yom Tov with family, in laws parents etc

Seriously if it’s so hard to spend pesach with family just stay home.

Yes it’s a lot of hard work, but totally worth It.

dankbar

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 4:01 pm

When many people spend endless days together in tight quarters it can bring out the hard side of people.
Many still go to parents as kibad av, because parents want them to come.

amother

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 4:05 pm

dankbar wrote:

When many people spend endless days together in tight quarters it can bring out the hard side of people.
Many still go to parents as kibad av, because parents want them to come.

This is true, but I see just as many letters for. The parents complaining that it’s too hard to host.

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 4:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

This is true, but I see just as many letters for. The parents complaining that it’s too hard to host.

It is hard to host the kids and their families. I'm wiped. I would love to go to a hotel next year and tell the kids to make their own pesach.

amother

Natural

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 4:14 pm

dankbar wrote:

When many people spend endless days together in tight quarters it can bring out the hard side of people.
Many still go to parents as kibad av, because parents want them to come.

This. My in-laws are beyond insistent that we come. Eventhough it’s really far for us, this year I’m bh due soon and didn’t want to shlepp and we generally have a miserable time with them. It’s the only time of year we spend more than a couple of hours with them so we do it...

amother

Mustard

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 4:16 pm

Oh, how I wish we could just stay home! Yes, we've done it, and I know what it involves. For better or for worse, at this time we are truly obligated to spend pesach with certain family members. As difficult as it is, the consequences for not doing so would be far, far worse. I understand how annoying it is to read about the kvetching. In fact, I'm very conscious about not complaining IRL, which is why a lot of it spills out here, anonymously. I'm sure there are many like me doing the same- pasting on a smile and keeping up the spirits for those around them, while internally throwing a toddler tantrum of epic proportions.

me.alu

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 4:24 pm

What about those of us who stay home and have the parents/in laws/siblings come to us??

mig100

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 4:29 pm

I had a feeling this post would get a lot of responses quickly- superwify do u have popcorn ready?

notshanarishona

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 4:29 pm

My parents beg us to come each yom tov. I rarely go for various reasons including that I need my space and sleep and have a hard time sharing quarters with all the other marrieds, in some ways going is harder than making.

momsrus

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 4:36 pm

me.alu wrote:

What about those of us who stay home and have the parents/in laws/siblings come to us??

Complain all you want lol

amother

Lawngreen

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 4:36 pm

We stayed home!!! Told both sides that we need time for ourselves.. The moms were upset but that's life. I can't stand the arguing. It's really nice at home!!

SuperWify

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 4:46 pm

mig100 wrote:

I had a feeling this post would get a lot of responses quickly- superwify do u have popcorn ready?

Unfortunately because it’s Pesach I only have potato chips 🙁

livinginflatbus

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 5:02 pm

We used to go and the cramped quarters were hard and sometimes led to hard feelings . There’s nothing like your own bed .

Learning

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 5:24 pm

What about the kids. They have such a good time and they get so much from it. I’m the olden days families used to live together this is part of the reason that people used to be much healthier mentally. The children have lasting memories and get so much from being with extended family.

amother

Coffee

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 5:30 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

It is hard to host the kids and their families. I'm wiped. I would love to go to a hotel next year and tell the kids to make their own pesach.

So why do you? Out of obligation?
I used to be hosted out of obligation, very very unpleasant feeling. Bh, my husband got the message and we don’t go there any longer

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 6:11 pm

We used to go to my in-laws in Israel for Pesach or Sukkos once in a few years.
Until my MIL peeked through the glass bathroom window to see who was in there.
(She knocked on the door to see who was in there and I ignored her. She said she was worried something happened to her teen son with medical issues. She should have just gone to look for him instead but whatever).
We went once more after that and I insisted on renting our own apartment.
But tickets for a family + house rental + flying 11 hours is much more expensive than staying home so that was the end for us.
I find it much easier staying home.

asmileaday

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 6:24 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

This is true, but I see just as many letters for. The parents complaining that it’s too hard to host.

Obviously the people complaining it's hard to host aren't the ones insisting the kids must come!

amother

Burlywood

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 6:50 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Unfortunately because it’s Pesach I only have potato chips 🙁

U have potato chips? Can I have some?

Apparently, it's a rare commodity in my neck of the woods.

amother

Crimson

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 7:02 pm

Learning wrote:

Are you saying they were emotionally healthier even if they were together with extended family members that were not emotionally healthy?

ectomorph

Wed, Apr 24 2019, 7:05 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

It is hard to host the kids and their families. I'm wiped. I would love to go to a hotel next year and tell the kids to make their own pesach.

Plenty of parents insist their kids come and rhen complain how hard it is.

Make a list of things that have to bs purchased or get done and have your kidis sign up. Your daughters in law can help cook etc