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Forum
-> Judaism
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Apr 28 2019, 10:54 pm
I would like to go to the "other" shul because the rabbi at my shul just is not my cup of tea. But people will think I'm a "traitor" and yet many probably have the same idea as I do.
What should I do?
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BatyaEsther
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Sun, Apr 28 2019, 10:59 pm
GO!!!!
You should be going to a Shul that you feel comfortable in, that inspires you and brings you closer to Hashem.
Maybe your going will make them comfortable to go as well.
(If they judge you, they're not really your friends in the first place, and why do you care?)
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amother
Mint
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Sun, Apr 28 2019, 11:41 pm
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Choosing a shul is a very personal thing. Daven where you feel closest to G-d. Unless you mean that you're a guest for YT and want to daven at a shul other than the one your host is davening at. That would be impolite and unfriendly. Daven where your host/ess davens. You can survive a yomtov's worth of not adoring the rabbi. Think of it as a character-buildoing exercise.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Apr 28 2019, 11:51 pm
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My DH shares similar feelings but he would be upset with me if I went to a different shul. I really am not inspired by the one we belong to. I never have been. I don't expect my spirituality to come from external sources but I also don't expect an external source to almost do the opposite either. Meanwhile, our spirituality is in the weeds.
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shirachadasha
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Sun, Apr 28 2019, 11:55 pm
There are communities where people are members in one shul and associate members of other shuls. It's a shame that going to shul should be seen as declaring loyalty to one shul and disrespecting another.
For the people who bother you about it, can you tell them that the acoustics / davening times / some other objective factor works better for you in the new shul?
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amother
Mint
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Mon, Apr 29 2019, 12:45 pm
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What Shirachadasha said. We have several friends who are dues-paying members at more than one Shul , though that gets expensive, and at least one has served on the boards of both. We also know families in which one spouse davens at one Shul and the other at a different Shul. And just about everyone we know davens elsewhere now and then, like if they get up late or need to get out early or the weather suggests attending a Shul closer to home. With some predictable exceptions, nobody in my community considers davening at one place or another to be a commitment that is binding for life.
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