All Your Aliyah Questions - Wisdom and Advice

amother

Wed, May 01 2019, 11:26 am

All who have made Aliyah, please help us future Olim with your voice of experience!! Everyone with a true interest in making Aliyah in the next few years, please post your questions!

I have so many questions, so thank you in advance for the chessed you will be doing by reading through my post!

First, let me describe my family so you can have information to better answer my questions: My husband is in Klei kodesh, we live in a vibrant but Oot Yeshivish community, near one of the main centers of Torah Jewery here in the US. We have children from almost shidduchim age to toddler, so working, seminary/yeshiva, highschool, elementary school, and stay at home kids. One of my kids has central nervous system issues (sensory, poor executive functioning, anxiety, just mild enough to not have the spectrum diagnosis, but slight learning/social challenges) and requires some self contained classes at school.

1. We would like a neighborhood that is not beyond the Green Line, has English speaking families, and a very frum/yeshivish but not materialistic or overly intense feel. Can you recommend options to explore?

2. We wouldnt even know how to begin looking into schools for the children...do people research schools and move to neighborhoods close by? To get an English speaking school run with an American mentality for elementary and girls' highschool - is that possible? Are such schools public, or do they have a private status and charge tuition? While there are many beis medrash aged American bachurim in Eretz Yisrael, are there mechinos for American bachurim? How to begin researching all this?

3. How does one navigate the world of special education for children without a diagnosis, but definitely have challenges? Do American/Israeli schools have special Ed departments that are well run and publicly funded?

4. Ok, this I'm hesitant to ask, but it is a very real fear of mine, so I'm just going to ask it:. Over the years I have heard many scary things about neighborhoods in Eretz Yisrael, some of my information comes from this site...that statistically American kids who come after age 8 don't integrate well at all and become angry and rebellious or depressed, that Israel is a haven for paedophiles because child relations abuse cases are not handled well, that children who are unconfident and insecure can be easily bullied and are vulnerable to abuse. Honestly, as someone coming with kids who will be struggling in a new culture, the things I've heard and read terrify me enough to make me push off such a big move...can you reassure or give wisdom in this area?

These are just my most pressing questions, but I have many more! Thank you for reading!

Rappel

Wed, May 01 2019, 12:11 pm

Very detailed; well done!

1. I'm not involved in Anglo-focused communities, and I do very little over the Green Line (your side), so I'm not qualified to answer

2. Similarly not qualified

3. Israel is actually very good at providing special education resources on a variety of levels. You need a good evaluator who can really define your child, and that means going private - $$$$$. Something in the the 2000 shekel range. I know an excellent man, leader in the field, who is American. He's semi-retired now, but he still does elementary school evaluations - Dr. Moshe Leibler. You can pm me for his phone number

4. My kids are young, and my experience and observations are as yet from the side. Not qualified.

amother

Wed, May 01 2019, 2:28 pm

Rappel wrote:

Ok, thank you for trying to help! Good night!

thunderstorm

Wed, May 01 2019, 2:48 pm

People comment about the school system being so different. What does that mean? Other than the language aspect , what makes schools more different in Israel than the US? How does one pick and choose a school ? I understand that there is DL and Chareidi in Israel. Is there anything in between? What does Chareidi really mean? To me I picture Chareidim to he extreme. Where does a regular American "heimish" family fit in? I'm so confused as to the categories and the types, specifically in regard to schools. My DH scouted Beit Shemesh on his last trip to Israel and loves it. What types live there?
I keep saying "type" because I don't understand the various Israeli sects of Orthodoxy. That's what I need clarification on. When any of you in Israel wake up and have your coffee first , I'd appreciate to hear a response. Thanks

FranticFrummie

Wed, May 01 2019, 3:32 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes, I pretty much think it is the only place that fits our needs...but I would love to hear more when you have time. Good night!

I live in RBS. Feel free to ask me questions. I don't have a child in school here, but I can tell you about other things.

My one piece of advice BEFORE you make Aliyah, is to learn conversational Ivrit at least a year before you plan to move here. Rosetta Stone has a pretty good program, and it's not that expensive. The whole family can learn it together. Label everyday items around the house with their Hebrew names, etc.

Practice at home as much as you can, and make it fun for the kids. Teach your kids the name for cookie, cake, ice cream, sandwiches, and then have them say "Ani rotzah (or rotzeh for a boy)" and then the word for what they want. For example, "Ani rotzah gleedah" for "I want ice cream". Make sure they say "toda" for "thank you!"

essie14

Thu, May 02 2019, 4:06 am

thunderstorm wrote:

I never sent kids to school in the US. You have to advocate a lot for your children, but I'm not sure if that is different here than in the US. As olim, we parents get comments from teachers and principals such as "you don't know how it's done here". You have to stand your ground, enlist friends to help you navigate things.
There's plenty in between Chareidi and DL. Chardal is one label. There's also a spectrum of chareidi and DL - "American chareidi", RWDL, LWDL.

Bet Shemesh and RBS have every "type". There are many schools here and something for everyone.
I'm not "heimish" or "charedi" so not sure what I can answer. My kids go to DL schools here.

thunderstorm

Thu, May 02 2019, 4:32 am

essie14 wrote:

I appreciate you taking the time to answer. What do you mean that you need to advocate a lot for your children ? What sort of things need advocating?
Also, you mentioned to get friends involved to assist. What's if at this point we don't know ANYONE yet and we are hoping to make friends. Can you manage the ins and outs without friends in the beginning?
Can someone describe what "American Chareidi" means ? And what would an RWDL person look like and what would they be like hashkafically ?
If a child struggles academically are there resources and tutoring programs as part of the schools?
When the teachers and principals say "you don't know how it's done here", are they less accepting of olim? And do they make these types of comments to the kids too?

essie14

Thu, May 02 2019, 5:01 am

thunderstorm wrote:

I appreciate you taking the time to answer. What do you mean that you need to advocate a lot for your children ? What sort of things need advocating?

Making sure your kids get ulpan and other benefits allotted to them.
Learning disabilities and things like that. (I think you need to advocate for that in the US too)
Basically, one of the schools that one of my kids went to is very "in the box" and we had to switch the child out (after a lot of blood sweat and tears) because the principal likes everyone to be the same. I don't think this is so diff in the states either. You just have the added challenge here of the language barrier.

I'd be happy to discuss specifics over PM.

thunderstorm wrote:

Also, you mentioned to get friends involved to assist. What's if at this point we don't know ANYONE yet and we are hoping to make friends. Can you manage the ins and outs without friends in the beginning?
Can someone describe what "American Chareidi" means ? And what would an RWDL person look like and what would they be like hashkafically ?
If a child struggles academically are there resources and tutoring programs as part of the schools?

I believe that Bet Shemesh gives you a "buddy family" -I could be wrong. I didn't make aliyah to here, I only live here now.
If you are not on Facebook, get on it and join the RBS facebook group. It's a great resource and people are more than happy to help.
These will be your friends until you make real ones Smile

You can manage things, you will make mistakes, everyone does. It doesn't mean you will not have a successful aliyah. Even if you have a best friend guiding you, you will still make mistakes.

RWDL means (IMO) women fully cover their hair, cover elbows and knees, daven in a shul that says tefila for the medina and chayalim, children serve in the army [def boys, girls can choose army or sherut leumi], kids go to the "Chemed" or "Chardal" schools (those schools have uniforms and/or dress codes, the boys learn a LOT of gemara, girls learning is same [to me] as the OOT American BY I went to), smartphones are OK. These are just a few things off the top of my head that I would use the describe it very superficially.

Kids who need help definitely get it. The schools are all attentive to the needs of Olim.
I personally did not need to navigate the Special Ed system but I have many friends who have. Many people pay for private tutoring, especially if you and DH can't navigate the Hebrew enough to help with older kids homework.

thunderstorm wrote:

When the teachers and principals say "you don't know how it's done here", are they less accepting of olim? And do they make these types of comments to the kids too?

We had a specific instance of a teacher/yoetz saying this to us. I don't think anyone I know had their kids spoken to like this. I can elaborate over PM.
In general, we have had pretty good experiences with olim being accepted.
None of my kids has ever been bullied or anything like that.

WitchKitty

Thu, May 02 2019, 7:00 am

My family moved to Israel when I was 7.
I did not know a lot of Hebrew, and, yes, it was hard. I won't elaborate, but it's not only the language that children find hard to acclimate to, but the culture too.
I was quite young and B"h am very very very happy that my parents did it.
About special ed- Someone here said you have to advocate a lot. This is very true. Especially if your child does not have a diagnosis, you will probably have to fight for his rights.
We always joke that the law in Israel is that the goverment/insurance or such need to first say no, then you complain and argue, then you get the yes.
America, as far as I remember, is easy with therapy and such. Kid needs speech therapy? Let him go. Here it's a longer procedure.
Chareidim may be extreme. I would think it depends on your definition of extreme.
We are chareidi. I live in a mainly litvish, chareidi town. I, of course, define myself as normal.
Thunderstorm, I enjoyed your questions. What is chareidi? You know what, that's complicated to define. I would be happy to philosophize about this, but this is not my soapbox.
What is a chareidi considered in Israel? I'm not objective enough to define.
OP- don't try to send elementary school girls to American schools here forever. For the first year or 2 maybe, but I've met girls who always feel as if they don't belong in the country, because they only socialize with Americans.
The Schools you are thinking of are private. The regular beis yaakovs are public and free, but very Israeli, probably too much.
Have you thought of Har Nof?
About the kids, I think that what school they go to is the key. Boys usually have it harder, because boys in general aren't as sensitive and may hurt the new American boy without thinking.
If you have specific questions about special ed, I might be able to help you a bit.

I know that feeling of "where to start", so I'm happy you posted! Hope we'll be able to help.

Rappel

Thu, May 02 2019, 10:05 am

thunderstorm wrote:

My kids are little, but I hear a lot from my friends on this topic. For comparison, I attended Bai's Yaakov schools in Brooklyn.

How is it different?

First of all, the schools here are public - which means free or nearly free. The Ministry of Education system allows school to register according to different tracks - for example, Malachti Dati, Shas, and others. How a school is registered tells you a lot about it's religious direction, curriculum arrangement, and structure. (At least one type of school doesn't even need to have a standardized curriculum - calling all Brooklyn Yeshiva students! Wink

)

My personal experience here is majorly with the Mamlachti Dati schools, since most schools in the yishuvim are registered as such.

MD schools are divided between boys and girls education, but they get only one set of funding from the government, which gets split between the two halves of the school. This means that to prevent financial shortages, the schools need to be run very well, and may require private input from the local town.

The standard class size in Israel is quite large, but in the yishuvim, the lower population often allows for smaller classes.

School days are shorter. Think 1 pm, sometimes 2 pm. After-school activities, or "chugim," are very popular, and are organized through the yishuv.

The focus in school is usually on improving the social climate and the students' character, and less on grades.

There is a national enrichment program for gifted students. At certain points in elementary school, students take national genius aptitude tests. If they qualify, then they get to join this enrichment program - though it isn't necessarily a religious environment, and that can be an important factor in deciding whether to continue your child in that program.

How do you pick a school?

Location, location, location. People whom send their young children farther away are free, and often have very specific reasons.

What are the labels?

Hardly anyone knows, and even fewer care. Every colour of the rainbow exists along the religious spectrum, and no one really defines the stripes. Americans, or "Anglos" (a general term for English speaking olim), are often marked out in society for their different habits, but that usually makes your kids seem cooler, so they will probably play it up. Smile

I can't tell you anything about Beit Shemesh. If you're looking specifically for large Anglo communities outside the big cities, I believe Efrat and Raanana also boast many Anglos.