How do u choose them and not the laundry list?

thegiver

Thu, May 02 2019, 10:00 pm

I always think playing can wait and it never happens

I am always busy doing cleaning shopping prepping food and eating

How do u actively put ur kids first?? First play then work... my list of chores never seems to end. Sahm here.

Pls dont suggest getting help ha I know that already. Smile

L25

Thu, May 02 2019, 10:08 pm

figure out what is the bare minimum and what are you doing. Are you running to 5 stores when 1 or two would be fine? Is errands something that entertains your kids and is quality time or is it a time drain? Figure out how to involve your kids. making dinner can be "mommy time"- figuring out how to combine the two as much as you will go a long way.
Hatzlacha!

the world's best mom

Thu, May 02 2019, 10:17 pm

Start small. Before beginning your chores each day, spend 10 minutes playing with the kids. Then you can slowly increase the time. You will probably begin to enjoy the time, and it is incredibly valuable for the kids.

tichellady

Fri, May 03 2019, 12:21 am

I try not to clean until my baby is sleeping. I try to get out during the day since we are both happier outside and it’s easier to not clean/ cook if I’m not home 😃.

I do prep dinner with my baby around and I usually stay near her and give her kitchen tools to use ( measuring cups, etc) while I’m prepping so she feels included. She usually is ok with This, othertimes she cries and then I have to decide if I need to be prepping now or if it can wait until she’s asleep.

It’s definitely a struggle!

I only have one at home ( but I have been told she’s not an easy baby) so I’m sure it gets harder with more.

queen esther

Fri, May 03 2019, 12:45 am

I learn to relax my standards. I try to remember that I want my kids to look back at their childhood and remember that I listened to them and paid attention to them, not that the dishes were always washed and the laundry neatly folded. It's definitely a balance, and maybe some ppl care about housework more than me, but I do essentials and leave the rest for later at night or when there's time my kids are occupied. They are grade school age, not toddler or baby so that also helps. But I'd leave a messy house to take them outside, eat a simpler supper so I can do homework with them, bake with them even though takes twice as long.. They get big so fast.

ra_mom

Fri, May 03 2019, 8:20 am

If you're not a sit down and play kind of mom, include them in your activities. I'm sure they'd love mixing and baking with you. Getting their hands wet and "washing" dishes with you. Singing along with you as you both sort the laundry. Emptying and filling the machines.
And then when it's done, sit down on the couch and just relax and snuggle with them. Stay close by and relaxed, and watch they play lego. Then read a book to them.

SuperWify

Fri, May 03 2019, 8:28 am

I don’t know how old your children are but why don’t you include them in your laundry list?

When you are sorting the laundry to go into the wash allow them to throw the clothing in after you sprayed them. When you are making dinner have them pull up a chair and “help”. When you mop give them a kiddie mop and let them join the fun! When you bake give them a piece of dough to play with.

My son is two and absolutely loved to “help”. He especially feels good when I praise his “help that I couldn’t do without”.

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, May 03 2019, 8:34 am

Dunno how old your kids are, but maybe give them each a chore do to every day (your job is to make sure the blocks are put away, your job is to put away all the balls, etc) and make it really fun. After they're sleeping, do the real cleaning stuff. Every day do something else. Sunday- bathrooms and windows. Monday- wash laundry. Tuesday- dry and fold laundry. Wednesday dust and vacuum. Thursday- mop.
-Never go to sleep with dishes in the sink.
-Have multiple laundry baskets so you dont have to separate clothes before washing
-Wake up earlier to do the washing
-Mop with hot water so it evaporates quickly
-Vacuum instead of sweep
-Keep Clorox wipes everywhere so you can whip one out immediately when needed
-Get an instant pot so you can have supper ready in 10 min

FranticFrummie

Fri, May 03 2019, 8:58 am

ra_mom wrote:

This worked best for me. DD loved to copy mommy, and she could be really helpful even when she was 2.

Enjoy them while they still think cleaning is a game. They'll start whining about pitching in when they get older and learn how to entertain themselves.

I wish I knew a magic way to keep them with the attitude that helping mommy was fun!

penguin

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:02 am

The last verse is often made into a sign, but the whole poem bears reviewing:

Song for a Fifth Child

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

amother

Lilac

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:03 am

amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:

You make it sound so simple. Basically, play with children during the day, do house work at night...
So, when do I sleep? When do I get me time??

How do moms who work and don't have help do it??

SuperWify

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:12 am

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

You make it sound so simple. Basically, play with children during the day, do house work at night...
So, when do I sleep? When do I get me time??

How do moms who work and don't have help do it??

They have help.

No one can do it all unless they can live off 5 hours of sleep and function normally the next day.

mig100

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:50 am

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

You make it sound so simple. Basically, play with children during the day, do house work at night...
So, when do I sleep? When do I get me time??

How do moms who work and don't have help do it??

Everyone is different and has to figure out what works foir them

No point in comparing urself to others

Btw- I also very much need me time

amother

Ecru

Fri, May 03 2019, 10:30 am

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

You make it sound so simple. Basically, play with children during the day, do house work at night...
So, when do I sleep? When do I get me time??

How do moms who work and don't have help do it??

I’ve never had help. I don’t want extra people coming into my overcrowded house (this is my choice). That means either I choose me time vs cleaning my place or I do chores and feel rundown and resentful. I am hardly a role model but I do a mix of these. 🤷‍♀️

MiracleMama

Fri, May 03 2019, 10:43 am

For me it came down to setting priorities.
Making dinner on time was necessary. Dirty dishes and folding laundry could wait and be done when they went to nap/school/bed.

The moms that get their kids involved in their chores and cooking are the smart ones. But I struggled with this. I'm not good at delegating and found I could do everything faster myself. Now I have kids who don't want to help with anything. Can't Believe It

My fault.

amother

White

Fri, May 03 2019, 11:13 am

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

You make it sound so simple. Basically, play with children during the day, do house work at night...
So, when do I sleep? When do I get me time??

How do moms who work and don't have help do it??

Every situation is so different. depends how old your kids are, how many kids every person has.
Right now I have two kids and pregnant.

I make supper either in the morning, night before or had it frozen from making it on Sunday.

After the kids eat supper they are much happier and I can get a few things done sometimes.

If I am busy cooking and they want to help. Yes its stressful but that job is done.

I clean up after they finish playing and finish cleaning after they go to bed.

I get to excersize, shower and read a little in bed after my husband leaves which is not before 9:45.

imaima

Fri, May 03 2019, 11:28 am

thegiver wrote:

I put my kids first by cooling, washing and prepping. Otherwise I would be spending my days on the couch...

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, May 03 2019, 11:52 am

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

You make it sound so simple. Basically, play with children during the day, do house work at night...
So, when do I sleep? When do I get me time??

How do moms who work and don't have help do it??

I work full time. I have a 2.5yo and I'm expecting soon! (Bh!) I workout and shower from 6:30-7:30. I am out of the house from 8-5. I play with my 2.5 yo from 5-7. He "helps" me make supper. I clean from 7-10.

cozyblanket

Fri, May 03 2019, 11:57 am

SuperWify wrote:

They have help.

No one can do it all unless they can live off 5 hours of sleep and function normally the next day.

If you mean paid help, no not everyone has that. That is a luxury.

OP, simplify your laundry list. One pot dinners. Simple foods. Cook extra and freeze. Kids clothes can be put in drawer without folding. Little kids like to put away their laundry. They know where the socks go etc. Your house doesn't need to be spotless do don't stress about too much cleaning. Simplify errands. You don't need the detergent on sale across town. It will eat up your day trying to get it.

How do I pick kids vs chores? It's totally case by case, day by day. There are many factors in why I choose what I do each time.

Most people don't have it all figured out. It's one day at a time and doing our best.