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S/o seminary necessary? Did you go to seminary?
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mommish613




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 8:30 am
Seminary was a life changing experience for me- not so much for the classes, the friendships and the independence I gained (all those were amazing but could easily happen in an in-town sem).

It was really the gain of my love for Israel. If not for sem, I don’t think I would’ve ever gone to Israel before getting married as both my parents had never been. Somehow, I convinced my parents to let me go. The love of the land is something that’s hard to gain over a few week vacation. Living there for a year, experiencing the day to day life there, going constantly to the kosel- they really changed me.

I also think my husband and I would’ve had a hard time related to one another had I not gone- he has a fierce love for Israel and goes back very often (with me and without).

Having a teenage daughter now, I fervently hope we can afford to send her when the time comes!
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 9:12 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I specifically am curious to hear from those that went to seminary in Israel.
Would you say that your seminary experience changed you/ was beneficial in the long term?

I did not attend seminary in Israel (I did go to a local half day seminary) and I would really like to know if it is really a life changing, "everyone must go experience".


So change the thread title.
Otherwise you're conflating seminary with seminary in EY.
So let's assume that you value seminary? What about OOTers? I know OOTers who, once seminary discounts (yes, they've given them even for non klei kodesh, especially newer ones who want good girls), MASA, and other grants were factored in found EY the same if not cheaper than seminaries chu"l. MASA et al don't use the same rubric as FAFSA does in assessing household expenses.

ETA: Now that I've read the thread I see a lot of posts could have been chu"l seminaries too.
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corolla




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 9:18 am
Seminary for me was not a great experience, learning-wise. For various reasons, the hanhala was falling apart (the school closed the next year) and I wasn't in the mood to learn, being basically burnt out from HS. It was wonderful being in Israel though.
I ended up going back a couple years later for a three week learning program in a different city, and that, I can safely say, was definitely a formative experience. I was there to learn, and I appreciated it, and got to experience Israel in a whole new way.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 9:22 am
amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:
I went to sem! It was soooooo much fun. I really just went for the fun. It's 13th grade- It was not life changing at all lol. (Besides for the fact that I made friends that Im still besties with today).


This is the way I look at seminary. Sure, if you can afford it, go and have fun. Enjoy a year of a very expensive overnight camp in Israel. But the way it’s pushed as necessary for yiddishket-lol.

I went to half day seminary in Brooklyn. It was useful because I got a nice amount of credits for college. Other than that, didn’t give me any foundation for my life as a Jewish wife and mother. It was 13th grade, just less serious. It’s a nice way to transition into adulthood. One thing I noticed was that the girls who stayed here grew up over that year, while the girls who went to seminary in Israel came back and still acted like babies.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 9:23 am
I went to an excellent seminary in EY. I went because my parents valued that extra year of learning and because they valued me spending time in EY to develop a closeness and love for the land. Almost all of my friends went to EY so I was also happy to be part of the crowd in that sense. BH in terms of my goals it was very worthwhile. My seminary didn't brainwash at all, but I gained a more mature understanding of many concepts in Judaism and developed a much deeper appreciation for the Torah and our purpose as Torah Jews. This played significantly into my shidduch with my dh and our subsequent life choices. I also fell completely in love with EY, which significantly affected me and now my children as we make it a major priority to spend time in EY.

On a personal level, it was a very challenging year for me for many reasons. Mostly unaddressed and unresolved emotional health issues. So I would certainly say that parents should attempt to help their children come to a healthy place before sending them off the spend a year alone across the world.
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 9:49 am
If I wouldn't have gone to seminary, I would not be living in Israel for the last 15 years.
I'm closer with my seminary friends than my high school friends. We are like sisters.

I would not have given it up for anything!
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 9:53 am
its definitely a unique opportunity. to be in israel for 9 months and see all the major holidays is so so special. the trips they take you on are amazing and truly give you an appreciation for the land. you can always go back as an adult, but practically it may not be feasible
to tour like that with a family. however I did not love dorm life, it was cliquey and catty at times. many times I felt lonely. the classes were ok some were quite boring. was it worth 20k? I dont know to be honest. it was a luxury. in my day and age every girl went unless they were from a very struggling family or didnt have academic ability. I am not sure if its still like this today
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amother
Gold


 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 10:06 am
Yes it was a very important year for me and life changing. I matured so much over that year and learned many life skills, most importantly how to live on my own. Also Judaism wise I gained a lot living in and exploring different communities and ways of living in Israel.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 10:50 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
This is the way I look at seminary. Sure, if you can afford it, go and have fun. Enjoy a year of a very expensive overnight camp in Israel. But the way it’s pushed as necessary for yiddishket-lol.

I went to half day seminary in Brooklyn. It was useful because I got a nice amount of credits for college. Other than that, didn’t give me any foundation for my life as a Jewish wife and mother. It was 13th grade, just less serious. It’s a nice way to transition into adulthood. One thing I noticed was that the girls who stayed here grew up over that year, while the girls who went to seminary in Israel came back and still acted like babies.


Living far away from family for a year makes you grow up in a completely different way than still living at home post high school.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 11:13 am
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
Living far away from family for a year makes you grow up in a completely different way than still living at home post high school.


If you live OOT, the east coast can be far enough for growing.

Again, we're not all in NY and the options aren't seminary in EY or local seminary?
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Amalia




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 11:29 am
Thank you, OP, for starting this thread an thank you to everyone who contributed to it. I don’t have personal experience with seminary myself, so I find this thread very informative.
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Amalia




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 11:32 am
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
It's been many years and yes, seminary changed my life. I went "for shidduchim" with my parents' endorsement. I went as a sweet, naive, innocent child. And I came back as a bitter, cynical, miserable adult. So it is life changing. But it can go both ways.


May I ask you why it was so bad? You don’t have to write if it’s too painful, of course. Only if you can.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 11:50 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
One thing I noticed was that the girls who stayed here grew up over that year, while the girls who went to seminary in Israel came back and still acted like babies.


Exactly my experience. The majority of girls who came back from seminary in Israel were still young girls, like in highschool, who were panicky at the idea of starting real life.
The ones who stayed home (whether in half day sem or none at all) were way more mature and had a real grip on real life.
It was pretty eye opening.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 11:56 am
I didn't go. It wasn't for me and I'm happy with my decision almost 2 decades later.
I went to night seminary after work.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 12:11 pm
mommy3b2c wrote:

One thing I noticed was that the girls who stayed here grew up over that year, while the girls who went to seminary in Israel came back and still acted like babies.


amother [ Wheat ] wrote:
Exactly my experience. The majority of girls who came back from seminary in Israel were still young girls, like in highschool, who were panicky at the idea of starting real life.
The ones who stayed home (whether in half day sem or none at all) were way more mature and had a real grip on real life.
It was pretty eye opening.

Agreed.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 3:51 pm
amother [ Wheat ] wrote:
Exactly my experience. The majority of girls who came back from seminary in Israel were still young girls, like in highschool, who were panicky at the idea of starting real life.
The ones who stayed home (whether in half day sem or none at all) were way more mature and had a real grip on real life.
It was pretty eye opening.


Interesting that that was the perspective of you all who stayed home. Those who went might have a different perspective.
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 3:56 pm
amother [ Wheat ] wrote:
Exactly my experience. The majority of girls who came back from seminary in Israel were still young girls, like in highschool, who were panicky at the idea of starting real life.
The ones who stayed home (whether in half day sem or none at all) were way more mature and had a real grip on real life.
It was pretty eye opening.


I noticed that the girls who went immature and looking to party came back even more immature. The girls who went to learn and grow came back having learned and grown.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 3:59 pm
I went to sem over 20 years ago. It changed the trajectory of my life. Made aliyah after uni, met my husband here and have built a life that I never would have if I wouldnt have made aliyah. My sem doesnt exist anymore, but it was a wonderful sem that made me fall deeply in love with eretz ysrael.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 4:02 pm
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
Living far away from family for a year makes you grow up in a completely different way than still living at home post high school.


It doesn't if you're on the phone with your mom 24/6, have relatives in yerushalayim who help you with laundry, shabbos arrangements etc.
A person grows up when he or she is challenged out of their comfort zone.
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Forrealx




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2019, 4:12 pm
Growing up in Europe with no Jewissh thing and the closest sems 500 km away I never went to sem. Despite what sluchim told me that I needed. I was afraid to go to places like Mayanot or Machon Alte that I would be brainwashed and should be seperated form my own self. I never was a person who was doing mainstream or something. As teen I was wearing Punk/alternative clothes Dr.Martens boots and so on. I was the ''strange'' or ''odd'' one nad sometimes I kinda liked that I was unique and was not like the same as others. When I was though for a week or two somewhere in Israel in a thing like that. I was schoked how people were acting and how sectic it was. I didn't like it.

Sometimes I wished I had, but then only like for knowing exact things, I feel I lack in my torah knowledge and hashkafa knowledge I have SIL's who have been to Gateshead sem (new and old sem) and I see how people are admiring them for their knowldegde and so on.However some rabbi's are really suprised in my knowledge I get to hear ''oh she is bt... she doesn't know...'' I think I know but I just try to be myself and not the same as everyone else or something....
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