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Lakewood Psychiatrist ADHD - Doesn't push drugs
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amother
Natural


 

Post Thu, May 09 2019, 10:15 pm
We really like dr Abba Cargen in mountainside, Bh. But he’s a bloody fortune and doesn’t take insurance
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amother
Rose


 

Post Thu, May 09 2019, 11:07 pm
Dr Barry Holzer in Queens or Brooklyn. He’s amazing, specializes in Adhd and will not push medication on you at all.
I will, however, tell you my perspective from my own personal experience.
I was recently officially diagnosed with adhd although I knew I had it for a long time. My parents didn’t believe in labeling children and never had me evaluated. I was coasting along in school since my brains made up for my lack of cognitive skills. I was all over the place, never focused on my schoolwork, completed homework/assignments. I never had the stencils needed for class and was constantly losing my stuff, nor did I take notes since I’d get distracted. To my advantage, or disadvantage, I somehow have a photographic short term memory and got straight a’s by reading someone else’s notes the morning of the test.
I was popular since I was always fun and there was always something up around me. Everyone thought I was the happiest most easygoing kid around. If you’d ask my parents or family, they’d say I was the most confident, happiest talented popular girl. As for the school, they overlooked my disorganization, careless mistakes and lack of work completion since my grades were perfect so why bother.
So now let me share the inside story with you.
Ever since I remember I felt like something was off with me. There was something wrong with me but I couldn’t figure out what it was. On the outside I was like everyone else yet I realized that no one struggled with the mundane like I did. The questions niggled at me. Why can’t I stay organized like everyone else? Why does following in class come so easily to everyone but me? Why can’t I complete my homework even if I want to but somehow no one has an issue with it? Why am I constantly getting bored of my friends? Why am I blurting out things without thinking? Etc etc.. on the inside my self confidence was shredded. I carried around this heavy burden thinking that no one realizes it but really there is something wrong with me. I am defective. Will I ever be competent at routine life like the rest of my peers? I then graduated and my friends went to school, taught, got office jobs while I failed at all of them and felt like an even bigger failure. Why can everyone swing it but me? I can go on but you get the gist of it. On the surface I had not a care in the world. I lately started medication for ADHD and the difference was immense. I was able to do things without feeling like my brain is a thick layer of fog. I understood why I was the way I was all
My years. All of a sudden everything made sense to me. A black curtain was lifted from my brain. I cried for the little girl who struggled through life when there was a simple solution that could’ve avoided most of it.
So if you ask me your daughter may be doing ok and getting help, but she is struggling, oh how she’s struggling. Her life is exhausting and hard and she has to push herself for simple things. And she feels it and questions herself and her worth.
So before you nix medication truly ask yourself whether it isn’t really what’s best for your little girl even emotionally.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Thu, May 09 2019, 11:31 pm
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Dr Barry Holzer in Queens or Brooklyn. He’s amazing, specializes in Adhd and will not push medication on you at all.
I will, however, tell you my perspective from my own personal experience.
I was recently officially diagnosed with adhd although I knew I had it for a long time. My parents didn’t believe in labeling children and never had me evaluated. I was coasting along in school since my brains made up for my lack of cognitive skills. I was all over the place, never focused on my schoolwork, completed homework/assignments. I never had the stencils needed for class and was constantly losing my stuff, nor did I take notes since I’d get distracted. To my advantage, or disadvantage, I somehow have a photographic short term memory and got straight a’s by reading someone else’s notes the morning of the test.
I was popular since I was always fun and there was always something up around me. Everyone thought I was the happiest most easygoing kid around. If you’d ask my parents or family, they’d say I was the most confident, happiest talented popular girl. As for the school, they overlooked my disorganization, careless mistakes and lack of work completion since my grades were perfect so why bother.
So now let me share the inside story with you.
Ever since I remember I felt like something was off with me. There was something wrong with me but I couldn’t figure out what it was. On the outside I was like everyone else yet I realized that no one struggled with the mundane like I did. The questions niggled at me. Why can’t I stay organized like everyone else? Why does following in class come so easily to everyone but me? Why can’t I complete my homework even if I want to but somehow no one has an issue with it? Why am I constantly getting bored of my friends? Why am I blurting out things without thinking? Etc etc.. on the inside my self confidence was shredded. I carried around this heavy burden thinking that no one realizes it but really there is something wrong with me. I am defective. Will I ever be competent at routine life like the rest of my peers? I then graduated and my friends went to school, taught, got office jobs while I failed at all of them and felt like an even bigger failure. Why can everyone swing it but me? I can go on but you get the gist of it. On the surface I had not a care in the world. I lately started medication for ADHD and the difference was immense. I was able to do things without feeling like my brain is a thick layer of fog. I understood why I was the way I was all
My years. All of a sudden everything made sense to me. A black curtain was lifted from my brain. I cried for the little girl who struggled through life when there was a simple solution that could’ve avoided most of it.
So if you ask me your daughter may be doing ok and getting help, but she is struggling, oh how she’s struggling. Her life is exhausting and hard and she has to push herself for simple things. And she feels it and questions herself and her worth.
So before you nix medication truly ask yourself whether it isn’t really what’s best for your little girl even emotionally.

I had a very similar story.
My mother was in denial all the years that there was anything wrong with me. I also somehow managed to get great marks but with so much effort. I always lost my things and spaced out in class. Then I would teach it all to myself at home. Spend hours and hours on school work. My self esteem was down the drain and I had no friends. I wish my parents would have put me on medication. Life would be so much easier. Now my daughter is in school and she is showing signs of ADHD. I right away jumped to giving her medication. The school is like "why are you jumping to medication?" I was debating if I should tell them my history and that I don't want her to struggle like I did.
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mommyX2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 09 2019, 11:32 pm
How does your daughter feel she is doing? does she mind having a therapist helping her throughout the day? Does she wish she could be like everyone else and focus on her school work? If SHE is not happy with her situation, I would definitely medicate. If she didn't mind one bit it might be harder for me, but I would still consider it.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, May 10 2019, 12:03 am
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Dr Barry Holzer in Queens or Brooklyn. He’s amazing, specializes in Adhd and will not push medication on you at all.
I will, however, tell you my perspective from my own personal experience.
I was recently officially diagnosed with adhd although I knew I had it for a long time. My parents didn’t believe in labeling children and never had me evaluated. I was coasting along in school since my brains made up for my lack of cognitive skills. I was all over the place, never focused on my schoolwork, completed homework/assignments. I never had the stencils needed for class and was constantly losing my stuff, nor did I take notes since I’d get distracted. To my advantage, or disadvantage, I somehow have a photographic short term memory and got straight a’s by reading someone else’s notes the morning of the test.
I was popular since I was always fun and there was always something up around me. Everyone thought I was the happiest most easygoing kid around. If you’d ask my parents or family, they’d say I was the most confident, happiest talented popular girl. As for the school, they overlooked my disorganization, careless mistakes and lack of work completion since my grades were perfect so why bother.
So now let me share the inside story with you.
Ever since I remember I felt like something was off with me. There was something wrong with me but I couldn’t figure out what it was. On the outside I was like everyone else yet I realized that no one struggled with the mundane like I did. The questions niggled at me. Why can’t I stay organized like everyone else? Why does following in class come so easily to everyone but me? Why can’t I complete my homework even if I want to but somehow no one has an issue with it? Why am I constantly getting bored of my friends? Why am I blurting out things without thinking? Etc etc.. on the inside my self confidence was shredded. I carried around this heavy burden thinking that no one realizes it but really there is something wrong with me. I am defective. Will I ever be competent at routine life like the rest of my peers? I then graduated and my friends went to school, taught, got office jobs while I failed at all of them and felt like an even bigger failure. Why can everyone swing it but me? I can go on but you get the gist of it. On the surface I had not a care in the world. I lately started medication for ADHD and the difference was immense. I was able to do things without feeling like my brain is a thick layer of fog. I understood why I was the way I was all
My years. All of a sudden everything made sense to me. A black curtain was lifted from my brain. I cried for the little girl who struggled through life when there was a simple solution that could’ve avoided most of it.
So if you ask me your daughter may be doing ok and getting help, but she is struggling, oh how she’s struggling. Her life is exhausting and hard and she has to push herself for simple things. And she feels it and questions herself and her worth.
So before you nix medication truly ask yourself whether it isn’t really what’s best for your little girl even emotionally.


Thanks. Your description of yourself sounds exactly like me! Except that I did struggle socially, although I was never bullied or anything and I don't think people disliked me. I just wasn't considered and I just was on the outside. I attribute that to my otherwise wonderful mother who did not understand that she could not dress me almost exclusively in severely outdated hand me downs and how that caused me to be very self conscious. Some thoughts that used to go through my head were, "what does the word 'try' really mean. Cuz I think I'm doing it and I'm not successful so I guess I don't know what it means." And at times I was failing and frustrated or others were frustrated with me, "I bet one day the Drs will diagnose me with some rare illness that it's like every single thing I do is like a regular person doing it while holding sacks of flour. And boy will they be sorry then." Others did view my as a happy go lucky kid, and while I struggled, I don't think that's incorrect. The fact that when I did exert a lot of effort, I would be successful, but I was unable to maintain that, made me feel like more of a failure. Like, obviously I could, do I must be lazy. like you, I also would borrow notes and cram before tests and usually did quiet well. I did find highschool both easier and harder. Harder was independent work, like a report. I actually would enthusiastically get started, but I would have a problem wrapping up the project. But my highschool was not as rigid as elementary school, and few teachers would get upset about me not taking notes. Taking notes was a distraction for me. I found doodling quite helpful in keeping me focused. Unfortunately, in elementary school, everyone had to do the same things all the time in the exact manner the teacher wants. (Last year, the teacher wanted the girls to use 4 highlighters on their chumish sheets, to highlight prefixes suffixes , shorashim etc. Can't Believe It I can't imagine how even neurotypical kids don't get distracted)
I did go into a field that is quite creative but still needs maths, and problem solving, and my boss isn't on location and kind of gets that I'm package deal. Like, sometimes I get stuck and I'm unproductive for a while. But when were up against a deadline, I can hyperfocus like no one else.
I too only realized as an adult that I have ADHD, (undiagnosed).
Right now my daughter'sself esteem is great, and she likes her identity as a kind of quirky silly genius, and her friends and classmates like her too, Baruch Hashem. Her therapist laughs and says jokingly that she wishes she wasn't so perfectly sure if herself, lol.
I've helped myself by reading books and methods and self coaching. Having more household help that most people at my income level would have, and sometimes a but of caffeine. I have never explored medication myself. I do have a fear of becoming dependant on that. Maybe, if we pursue the medication route with my daughter, I'll try it myself too.
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Fri, May 10 2019, 12:27 am
Please help me clarify this.I was under the impression that People go to a psychiatrist if they want a prescription. If not you just go first to a psychologist and then see if the psychologist recommends you need medication and suggests you consult with a psychiatrist. Isn’t a psychiatrist trained on medication and that’s how they think! doesnt psychiatrist equal medication?
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amother
Rose


 

Post Fri, May 10 2019, 12:31 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks. Your description of yourself sounds exactly like me! Except that I did struggle socially, although I was never bullied or anything and I don't think people disliked me. I just wasn't considered and I just was on the outside. I attribute that to my otherwise wonderful mother who did not understand that she could not dress me almost exclusively in severely outdated hand me downs and how that caused me to be very self conscious. Some thoughts that used to go through my head were, "what does the word 'try' really mean. Cuz I think I'm doing it and I'm not successful so I guess I don't know what it means." And at times I was failing and frustrated or others were frustrated with me, "I bet one day the Drs will diagnose me with some rare illness that it's like every single thing I do is like a regular person doing it while holding sacks of flour. And boy will they be sorry then." Others did view my as a happy go lucky kid, and while I struggled, I don't think that's incorrect. The fact that when I did exert a lot of effort, I would be successful, but I was unable to maintain that, made me feel like more of a failure. Like, obviously I could, do I must be lazy. like you, I also would borrow notes and cram before tests and usually did quiet well. I did find highschool both easier and harder. Harder was independent work, like a report. I actually would enthusiastically get started, but I would have a problem wrapping up the project. But my highschool was not as rigid as elementary school, and few teachers would get upset about me not taking notes. Taking notes was a distraction for me. I found doodling quite helpful in keeping me focused. Unfortunately, in elementary school, everyone had to do the same things all the time in the exact manner the teacher wants. (Last year, the teacher wanted the girls to use 4 highlighters on their chumish sheets, to highlight prefixes suffixes , shorashim etc. Can't Believe It I can't imagine how even neurotypical kids don't get distracted)
I did go into a field that is quite creative but still needs maths, and problem solving, and my boss isn't on location and kind of gets that I'm package deal. Like, sometimes I get stuck and I'm unproductive for a while. But when were up against a deadline, I can hyperfocus like no one else.
I too only realized as an adult that I have ADHD, (undiagnosed).
Right now my daughter'sself esteem is great, and she likes her identity as a kind of quirky silly genius, and her friends and classmates like her too, Baruch Hashem. Her therapist laughs and says jokingly that she wishes she wasn't so perfectly sure if herself, lol.
I've helped myself by reading books and methods and self coaching. Having more household help that most people at my income level would have, and sometimes a but of caffeine. I have never explored medication myself. I do have a fear of becoming dependant on that. Maybe, if we pursue the medication route with my daughter, I'll try it myself too.


Crazy how I just get every single thing you describe about yourself and the way you felt about yourself. I too am in the creative field right now, that’s where our strengths lies. However, since starting meds I don’t get stuck on the uninteresting parts of the job and then everything lags behind, nor do I make careless mistakes. Truthfully, I managed without meds. My house was clean and taken care of. Kids always have clean laundry in closets. As I said on the surface everything was great. I struggled though. Boy did I struggle. Everything was so hard, and every simple task took monumental effort and if course I constantly berated myself. And then there were the things I couldn’t do. Like divide the pot of chicken soup into small pans to freeze. I physically couldn’t bring myself to do the task. My brain wouldn’t give my body the message although I knew that I needed to do it, so I’d throw out a pot of fresh soup after laying in the fridge for a week.
What medication did for me is it took away the struggle. I can now do whatever I need to do and it comes naturally and easily. I no longer am exhausted by evening. It also slowed down my thoughts a tad so I’m not constantly overthinking things and feeling things as intensely as I used to. My personality has remained the same though. I’m still high energy, fun to be around and creative. Oh and I love to talk. Some things will never change.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Fri, May 10 2019, 12:34 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks. Your description of yourself sounds exactly like me! Except that I did struggle socially, although I was never bullied or anything and I don't think people disliked me. I just wasn't considered and I just was on the outside. I attribute that to my otherwise wonderful mother who did not understand that she could not dress me almost exclusively in severely outdated hand me downs and how that caused me to be very self conscious. Some thoughts that used to go through my head were, "what does the word 'try' really mean. Cuz I think I'm doing it and I'm not successful so I guess I don't know what it means." And at times I was failing and frustrated or others were frustrated with me, "I bet one day the Drs will diagnose me with some rare illness that it's like every single thing I do is like a regular person doing it while holding sacks of flour. And boy will they be sorry then." Others did view my as a happy go lucky kid, and while I struggled, I don't think that's incorrect. The fact that when I did exert a lot of effort, I would be successful, but I was unable to maintain that, made me feel like more of a failure. Like, obviously I could, do I must be lazy. like you, I also would borrow notes and cram before tests and usually did quiet well. I did find highschool both easier and harder. Harder was independent work, like a report. I actually would enthusiastically get started, but I would have a problem wrapping up the project. But my highschool was not as rigid as elementary school, and few teachers would get upset about me not taking notes. Taking notes was a distraction for me. I found doodling quite helpful in keeping me focused. Unfortunately, in elementary school, everyone had to do the same things all the time in the exact manner the teacher wants. (Last year, the teacher wanted the girls to use 4 highlighters on their chumish sheets, to highlight prefixes suffixes , shorashim etc. Can't Believe It I can't imagine how even neurotypical kids don't get distracted)
I did go into a field that is quite creative but still needs maths, and problem solving, and my boss isn't on location and kind of gets that I'm package deal. Like, sometimes I get stuck and I'm unproductive for a while. But when were up against a deadline, I can hyperfocus like no one else.
I too only realized as an adult that I have ADHD, (undiagnosed).
Right now my daughter'sself esteem is great, and she likes her identity as a kind of quirky silly genius, and her friends and classmates like her too, Baruch Hashem. Her therapist laughs and says jokingly that she wishes she wasn't so perfectly sure if herself, lol.
I've helped myself by reading books and methods and self coaching. Having more household help that most people at my income level would have, and sometimes a but of caffeine. I have never explored medication myself. I do have a fear of becoming dependant on that. Maybe, if we pursue the medication route with my daughter, I'll try it myself too.


I really believe that exploring medication for yourself will greatly improve your quality of life. You may be managing without it but why not be at 100% because you’re functioning at 60%.
My experience has been so positive and life changing that I wish everyone would do it for themselves. Since it kicks in right away and wears off throughout the day you can try it for a day or two to see if you feel a significant improvement in your day without any commitment to continuing unless you do.

You can feel free to PM me with any questions you have.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Fri, May 10 2019, 7:33 am
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
Please help me clarify this.I was under the impression that People go to a psychiatrist if they want a prescription. If not you just go first to a psychologist and then see if the psychologist recommends you need medication and suggests you consult with a psychiatrist. Isn’t a psychiatrist trained on medication and that’s how they think! doesnt psychiatrist equal medication?


Not necessarily. A GOOD psychiatrist can sit with with you and list the pros and cons of different treatment options. Not everyone is a candidate for medication, and a GOOD psychiatrist recognizes that.
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Fri, May 10 2019, 8:08 am
Dr. Roey Pasternak in Englewood, NJ, is an excellent, compassionate, empathetic, smart, and competent psychiatrist. He is also quite conservative and wise about medicating children, and has a lot of expertise with ADHD. I highly recommend him.
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amother
Gray


 

Post Fri, May 10 2019, 9:54 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes. There is where I'm probably headed. I just want an understanding Dr. that will take my concerns seriously.


I don't know if this will help you, but I took my teen daughter to Dr. Hizami (he has an office in Freehold), not for ADD/ADHD but something else. He initially put her on medication to help with her issue in the short run, then slowly weaned her off it and has her on a specific type of Omega 3 capsule (which is not Kosher, but we were advised it is permissible for her to take.)
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, May 10 2019, 10:30 am
Thanks you all so much for your help guys! I will look into these doctors.
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hotzenplotz




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 11 2019, 11:52 pm
Dear OP. If your child needs drugs give it to her.
I watched someone suffer till her parents agreed to medicate her and she is blooming.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Sun, May 12 2019, 9:43 pm
The nurse practitioner in chemed is fantastic. She's understanding to the needs of her patients and she comes very highly recommended. She did wonders for my DS . She's highly qualified and it's not worth it to shlep to Manhattan.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Mon, May 13 2019, 10:57 am
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
I've had a good experience with Dr rugino at children's specialized but I know he is hard to get into.
Dr. Rugino has been in and out for medical reasons. We just had our appointment pushed off for a month and a half. Hopefully he's recovered and will be back to normal soon.

Dr. Rugino isn't a psychiatrist. I believe he is a developmental specialist. He isn't a pill pusher.
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amother
Gray


 

Post Mon, May 13 2019, 11:07 am
amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:
The nurse practitioner in chemed is fantastic. She's understanding to the needs of her patients and she comes very highly recommended. She did wonders for my DS . She's highly qualified and it's not worth it to shlep to Manhattan.


I heard that the waiting list to get in to see her is about a mile long....
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oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 14 2019, 10:17 am
With all due respect, don't take your child to a NP for a diagnosis. They are good for the maintenance after the doctor prescribes. If you have some anxiety and your therapist recommends some medication, you know what you are dealing with so find a good NP and go but don't start with a child like that especially when the situation is not clear cut.
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