Home

Am I a Grocery Splurger?
1, 2, 3  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management -> Shopping

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:41 pm
My husband is quite frustrated and feels I spend way too much on groceries - and the costs are rising!
At this point, I easily spend $350 per week for my family of 5. My kids are young. Included in that is: produce, paper goods, meat, poultry, fish and the occasional cleaning product.
I am not frugal by any stretch. I don't think twice about buying a treat, certain semi-prepared foods, steak on occasion, bakery items for Shabbos, but I'm wondering if I really spend that much.
Oh, and on top of that is a separate Shabbos chocolate purchase and the occasional takeout supper.

I'd love to hear how much the rest of you spend and if I should think about cutting back a bit.
Back to top

ra_mom




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:45 pm
Food is so expensive. I don't think you're overdoing it.
Ask him to show you how to do it better. To sit down with you and figure out a 7 day menu of breakfast, lunch, snacks and supper together, then go to the supermarket and buy it.
I have a feeling his bill will end up more expensive. Very Happy
Back to top

amother




Silver


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:46 pm
The truth is that no one else's grocery spending is relevant here. You admit that you splurge, and it's causing shalom bayis problems. What can you do?
1. Make an effort to stick to non splurge items, and let him know (this should be reflected in the bills, obviously)
2. Decide that the splurges are important enough to you that you're willing to take on earning more to cover the extra spending
3. In the case that you actually have more than enough to spend on splurges, see a therapist together to explore how to determine a fair balance
4. I'm sure there are other options 😉
Back to top

crust




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:48 pm
What ramom said.
Specifically the last line... 👍
Back to top

amother




Babypink


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:48 pm
I am a family of five and spend about the same. I am not really frugal and I like to keep a stocked house. I do look at pricing and won't but something insanely expensive usually but I like healthier food which is more expensive in general.
Back to top

amother




OP


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:50 pm
ra_mom wrote:

I have a feeling his bill will end up more expensive. Very Happy

Without a doubt! We tried it. He spent less, but two days later we were all going hungry Wink


And no, it's not causing shalom bayis problems. My husband likes when there's enough food in the house and good stuff. He likes steak. He likes the most expensive yogurts. And chocolate for his coffee. And good coffee cups. He just hates the idea of money getting spent like that - don't tell me he's the only husband who's like that! Wants it all, but not to foot the bill.
Back to top

thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:51 pm
Prices went up like crazy the last few months. My weekly groceries used to be around $260 and I buy more or less the same things each week and now it was $315 and we still do a Friday shopping for odds and ends and I don't even buy bakery items or steaks or frozen foods ....so it totally makes sense that your bill is that high
Back to top

amother




OP


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:51 pm
amother [ Babypink ] wrote:
I am a family of five and spend about the same. I am not really frugal and I like to keep a stocked house. I do look at pricing and won't but something insanely expensive usually but I like healthier food which is more expensive in general.

Thank you for sharing.
Back to top

ra_mom




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:52 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Without a doubt! We tried it. He spent less, but two days later we were all going hungry Wink


And no, it's not causing shalom bayis problems. My husband likes when there's enough food in the house and good stuff. He likes steak. He likes the most expensive yogurts. And chocolate for his coffee. And good coffee cups. He just hates the idea of money getting spent like that - don't tell me he's the only husband who's like that! Wants it all, but not to foot the bill.

If you guys were hungry, then I don't think he included you in the menu planning. That part is crucial since you do the feeding.
Back to top

amother




Smokey


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:52 pm
Unless you actually can't afford these splurge, there isn't anything you should be doing. That's pretty normal for a family of five without specifically putting in effort to be frugal. Your dh is welcome to take over the grocery shopping if he doesn't like how you do it. Or he can decide what he's willing to do without in order to cut back.
Back to top

amother




Gold


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:56 pm
What everyone else said. But if you want to compare, that does kind of sound like a lot, depending on where you live. We're also a family of five (kids 10 and under) and spend more like $200-250 a week, and I'm not frugal either. I don't shop all in one store, though, I buy a lot at ShopRite and Target - cereal, paper goods, pasta, condiments, produce, canned goods, granola bars, cleaning supplies etc., pretty much everything except meat, chicken, milk & dairy (we keep C"Y). I do make a lot of things from scratch, like pizza and challah and falafel (but I buy frozen sometimes too).
Back to top

amother




Lawngreen


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 8:57 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My husband is quite frustrated and feels I spend way too much on groceries - and the costs are rising!
At this point, I easily spend $350 per week for my family of 5. My kids are young. Included in that is: produce, paper goods, meat, poultry, fish and the occasional cleaning product.
I am not frugal by any stretch. I don't think twice about buying a treat, certain semi-prepared foods, steak on occasion, bakery items for Shabbos, but I'm wondering if I really spend that much.
Oh, and on top of that is a separate Shabbos chocolate purchase and the occasional takeout supper.

I'd love to hear how much the rest of you spend and if I should think about cutting back a bit.


You can accommodate both of you. Do think twice about the extras you buy, and set yourself a limit of how much you'll spend each week on those extras. That should limit some of the 'splurging', while not totally denying yourself of them.

What can also be of a big help is to send your husband to do the shopping for 2-3 weeks. He'll see the actual costs of items and how quickly they add up. And if he buys literally only the necessities, he may end up longing for some of the missing goodies. He may then be more flexible towards a compromise of some sort.

I spend on the average about $300 a week for a family of 6 with older kids.
Back to top

ra_mom




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 9:02 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Without a doubt! We tried it. He spent less, but two days later we were all going hungry Wink


And no, it's not causing shalom bayis problems. My husband likes when there's enough food in the house and good stuff. He likes steak. He likes the most expensive yogurts. And chocolate for his coffee. And good coffee cups. He just hates the idea of money getting spent like that - don't tell me he's the only husband who's like that! Wants it all, but not to foot the bill.

Ok next time you try this, and you guys are hungry, send him back out to restock. As many times during the week as needed. Insist on this at the beginning of the experiment. And he must record the grocery spending for the whole week, not just the first trip.

Like lawngreen said, the experiment has to run for 3 weeks consecutively.

I spend more than you and dh used to comment all the time. Now he begs me to shop because he says that when he goes he spends too much. Reality.
Back to top

amother




OP


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 9:09 pm
Thanks, I really appreciate the responses and great advice.
Back to top

AmGold




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 9:25 pm
I don't spend a lot on clothing. We came to terms that grocery is where I spend. I think every person spends a lot somewhere else. I spend approximately same as you
Back to top

amother




Burlywood


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 9:32 pm
I also "spend" on groceries. my dh takes the attitude though that even if we could get it lower there's a limit to how much lower and we can b"h pay our bills so it's not worth driving me crazy which I appreciate Smile
Back to top

amother




Navy


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 10:19 pm
I think many men or women who don’t do the groceries, are like this. this is totally true in reverse, my Sil and mil have no concept that food costs money or how quickly it adds up. yt/ meat shopping etc. even if they need to scrimp they literally have no idea that the standing rib roast can be the price of a whole beautiful yt meal etc. and it’s not just splurges.

I do my meat/ chicken/ fish/ diary shopping separately and go to a chain store with good prices for my produce and water/ seltzer, just that costs like 50$ weekly and we are 2 ppl!

Food is expensive, bh if u can afford it and know where ur money is going. But I would try to settle it once and for all, really bothers me when my dad (they are Bh not tight) will say something to my mom, half joking about the thousands in grocery bills - she makes yt for 20 ppl. We’re not meat eaters so there’s really no upgrades but food is $$$.

A special chocolate trip is probably 30$. If he really is bothered u can try alternating extras, every week a different treat but be warned men are very happy to give up on extras till they’re hungry for them lol.
Back to top

cozyblanket




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 10:27 pm
Keep all your spending habits the same except for one. Change one thing and see how you can save on that. It could be drinks for example. Don't buy juices and all the other drinks you made by. Or decide that you're saving on breakfast foods and go easy on yogurts etc. Whatever it is pick one area and keep everything else the same so you don't feel deprived at all.
Back to top

amother




Royalblue


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 10:31 pm
I usually spend under 2 for 6 ppl. but I am admittedly frugal in this area, never bought takeout in my life, and make most things from scratch (for health reasons). But it seems like you and DH need/are used to your lifestyle and don't want to change it. If you can afford it, it doesnt seem to me over the top. If you can't afford it, maybe it would be a good idea to see where you can cut.
Back to top

singleagain




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 09 2019, 11:05 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
Prices went up like crazy the last few months. My weekly groceries used to be around $260 and I buy more or less the same things each week and now it was $315 and we still do a Friday shopping for odds and ends and I don't even buy bakery items or steaks or frozen foods ....so it totally makes sense that your bill is that high


I work in a grocery store office. And we have been getting so many price increase notice from our vendors. Even an increase of twenty-five cents can mean needing to raise our price. It sucks... But that's business.

One thing I'd suggest. Shop sales, and but what you can in bulk.

Also, if you find that your problem is impulse shopping, see if you can do your shopping online.. Many grocery stores deliver (even like Wal-Mart/Target) that way to stick to the list and aren't walking on the aisles saying "ooh potato chips"
Back to top
1, 2, 3  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 1 of 3 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management -> Shopping

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Big pesach grocery order! Where?
by amother
42 Wed, Apr 03 2019, 1:02 am View last post
Grocery shopping
by amother
6 Mon, Dec 17 2018, 12:59 pm View last post
Which grocery store open Motzei Shabbos Lakewood?
by amother
6 Sat, Dec 15 2018, 8:44 pm View last post
Grossed out by sick grocery cashier
by amother
28 Sun, Nov 18 2018, 1:18 am View last post
Online or phone grocery orders - Lakewood
by amother
8 Sun, Oct 21 2018, 10:24 pm View last post

Jump to: