If you have a 2 yo when do you shower on Friday?

amother

Yellow

Sun, May 12 2019, 12:57 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Um there's a reason it is a halacha that a child shouldn't see a parent naked. That's why Cham was punished and Shem and Yafes were rewarded. For the way they treated Noach was he was drunk and uncovered.

Oh- I thought that was because he was making fun of him?

amother

Lavender

Sun, May 12 2019, 12:57 pm

Amothet yellow, why is it important for a child to get used to seeing an adult naked body from when they are born? Some things are meant to be private. We jews have the midda of tzenuis. I don't think any child will ever be comfortable around naked adults even if they're used to it.

amother

Burgundy

Sun, May 12 2019, 1:02 pm

Since this is a frum website it’s important to note what the Torah’s perspective is.
A child who is old enough to possibly remember anything is simply too old to see their parents bodies completely uncovered.
This is why the Torah mentions that Sarah Imeinu weaned Yitzchak. By that point it was no longer proper for him to still nurse from his mother and see her exposed. (See meforshim)

One might view their youngest child as “still a baby “, but a child who is already communicating and creating memories is certainly not viewed by the rest of the world as a baby.

When I had newborns I brought their car seats into the bathroom while I showered. Just like op, I definitely would not allow a 2 year old into the bathroom when I shower.

Ema of 5

Sun, May 12 2019, 1:02 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Um there's a reason it is a halacha that a child shouldn't see a parent naked. That's why Cham was punished and Shem and Yafes were rewarded. For the way they treated Noach when he was drunk and uncovered. That's why Jews were rewarded with the mitzvah of wearing a tallis, iirc.

I don’t think a parent CHOOSING to take a shower with a child is the same thing as a child intentionally looking at a naked parent who is not aware of what’s going on.
If you make a shower with your child about what they are seeing, then yes, it’s inappropriate. If you make it about let’s get cleaned and let’s get out, I don’t really see the issue.
Once the child becomes more intellectual, I think it starts to become inappropriate.

amother

Red

Sun, May 12 2019, 1:02 pm

It's a problem safety wise, because a child is not supposed to see his father (or rebbe) for that matter, naked in the mikvah.
Re: the story of Noach, that's the way they teach it in elementary school, they censor the nakedness part.

GetReal

Sun, May 12 2019, 1:09 pm

Shulchan aruch says a mother can nurse their child until four, or five if the child is sickly. You can choose to wean earlier but you can’t say Halacha views it as inappropriate for an almost four year old boy to see his mothers breasts.

essie14

Sun, May 12 2019, 1:24 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Agree.

Not surprised though. She also mentioned she walks around her house in a sports bra with big boys around.

She's anonymous. How do you know what she posted on other threads?

amother

Lavender

Sun, May 12 2019, 1:27 pm

Ema of 4, it doesn't matter what you make the shower about, the child still see's the parent naked. I'm flabbergasted that you allow a 6 year old the shower with their father. That is so inappropriate abd downright disturbing. I can just imagine 6 year old going to school saying that he showers with dad and saw his aiver and testicles... omg that is so disgusting.

amother

Aquamarine

Sun, May 12 2019, 2:06 pm

I really feel like so many posters are overzexualising something that is innocent... turning something that is fine into something that sounds wrong.
I'll do the same.... babies suck from their mothers breasts. how is it appropriate to expose your newborn to your private part and have them touch you there???
Obviously in an appropriate forum it is okay. And same with showering. No its not appropriate to shower with a 10 year old. But showering with a 3 year old really isnt a big deal...

Ema of 5

Sun, May 12 2019, 2:12 pm

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

My 6 year old never discussed private things, like taking a shower, in school.
Like I said originally, you and I will have to agree to disagree.

amother

Lavender

Sun, May 12 2019, 2:23 pm

6 year olds discuss everything in school or with neighbors. There's really no way for you to be sure what your kids talk about in school.
Even if they don't discuss it, it's still highly inappropriate behavior for a mother to walk around in underwear, for a mother to discuss her nipples with kids, and for parents to shower with their kids.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, May 12 2019, 2:24 pm

GetReal wrote:

What about genitals? A child at the age of chinuch is not allowed to see a parent's genitals.

Ema of 5

Sun, May 12 2019, 2:26 pm

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

Keep talking. I already said we will have to disagree. That is the only response you will get from me.

amother

Tangerine

Sun, May 12 2019, 2:36 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

Well, if it was on a different thread, and was not quoted here, that’s a totally different discussion. I don’t think it should be done on a regular basis, but I legit had no problem when my husband would take a shower on Friday with our 6 year old, because he had fallen through the cracks and hadn’t had a shower 10 minutes before shabbos. Again, not on a regular basis, but occasionally. I don’t think it’s ok to go strutting your stuff around in front of your kids, but I also don’t think it’s the end of the world if they see something occasionally. Also, when my kids ask questions, I answer them. Yea, I don’t want my kid playing with my nipples just because, but I don’t have a problem with my kids asking about it, or any other part of anatomy.

Huge difference between a same s-x parent and opposite s-x parent.
Also, if your opposite s-x child is capable of asking about your nipples, you should certainly not be exposing yourself to them, and they shouldn't be viewing you naked.

amother

Lavender

Sun, May 12 2019, 2:55 pm

Ema if 4; if you're adamant that your inappropriate behavior in front of your kids is appropriate, than your behavior is s-xually abusive. There's just no other way to put it.

amother

Yellow

Sun, May 12 2019, 2:55 pm

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

Ema if 4; if you're adamant that your inappropriate behavior in front of your kids is appropriate, than your behavior is s-xually abusive. There's just no other way to put it.

Oh cool it.

Ema of 5

Sun, May 12 2019, 4:02 pm

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

Ema if 4; if you're adamant that your inappropriate behavior in front of your kids is appropriate, than your behavior is s-xually abusive. There's just no other way to put it.

We will have to agree to disagree. See how that works? I just keep saying the same thing.