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Bunkbed: Solving one problem by creating another?
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Success10




 
 
 


Post  Sat, May 11 2019, 4:05 pm
Problem: Small Israeli apartment, 2 girls who sleep on a trundle (pull out) bed who fight all night instead of going to sleep. "She's touching my bed" "She's singing out loud and making too much noise". So put one to sleep first? Yes, that's what we've been doing, but by the time she finally falls asleep, then the next one goes to lie down, and it takes her a good amount of time to fall asleep, it's late, really late. So options are: give them 2 separate beds on opposite sides of the room, maybe they won't fight, but then the room is very squished. Or a bunkbed, which they desperately want, but we are worried it will create more problems then good. Will the one on the bottom bed be annoyed when her sister moves around "upstairs"? Will the one on the top bunk be too lazy to climb the ladder every time she wants to just lay down? Will the toddler think it's a park and start climbing? Not sure there's a perfect solution to our issue, but would love to hear other people's experiences with similar issues.
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amother




Lilac


Post  Sat, May 11 2019, 5:43 pm
I don't know if this is possible for you but its what we did. We're also in an Israeli apartment and we bought a bunkbed with two pullouts underneath that wasn't so expensive. I only have two girls sleeping on it and they move around when that is what is best. When the bed isn't working, that daughter pulls out another bed and moves it over in the room and goes to sleep. In the morning, it goes back under the bunkbed.
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Teomima




 
 
 


Post  Sat, May 11 2019, 6:22 pm
We're happy with our bunkbed (I don't know if it makes a difference, but we got a nice solid wood one from etzmaleh, so you don't feel movement on other bunks). I've got three girls sleeping on it (there's one pullout underneath) and though there's occasional bickering, it's usually during the daytime, when one sister plays on another's bed. At night though we have no problems.
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OutATowner




 
 
 


Post  Sat, May 11 2019, 10:22 pm
Can you move the trundle out further when it's time for bed, and push back under when you need more room?
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amother




Babypink


Post  Sat, May 11 2019, 10:35 pm
OutATowner wrote:
Can you move the trundle out further when it's time for bed, and push back under when you need more room?


This. It sounds like they really need more personal space at bedtime, not to be literally on top of each other. I would not do a bunk bed for kids who are already bickering at bedtime. Forget the aesthetics of the room until they're past this stage.
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seeker




 
 
 


Post  Sat, May 11 2019, 10:44 pm
Personally I didn't find that a bunkbed created more issues, but maybe I just got lucky? At the time when I got it, only one child was old enough to sleep on top so there was no fighting about who got which bed. I got a metal one from IKEA so it's nice and strong and doesn't squeak when the upper kid moves around, though if one moves enough you can feel the shakes on the other bed, but somehow it hasn't been a big issue. Someone says "stop moving so much!" and it settles down.

My kids are not angels and they do plenty of fighting, but we haven't had any issues around the bunkbed specifically. It saves a ton of space.
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Sat, May 11 2019, 10:49 pm
We are planning to get one from Ikea that the bottom bunk is ac mattress on the floor. Its pretty safe looking
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Wife1




 
 
 


Post  Sat, May 11 2019, 11:07 pm
We have a good solid wood bunk bed love it. That the room feels much roomier
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amother




Burgundy


Post  Sat, May 11 2019, 11:41 pm
I want to add what also helped us get the kids to fall asleep faster is buying a noise machine. It literally saved me, trundle bed/bunk bed aside since the first kid now falls asleep faster. I don’t know what took me so long to buy it.
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soap suds




 
 
 


Post  Sun, May 12 2019, 1:35 am
I like my wooden bunkbed. Gives the kids a lot more floor space to play during the day. Kids who bicker in bed will be fighting regardless. the extra few feet between them doesn't help much, IME. I actually feel that there's less talking with a bunkbed, because they don't see each others.
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Sun, May 12 2019, 1:37 am
We have one child in a loft bed above the other child. The beds aren't connected so shaking of the upper bed doesn't affect the lower one.
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Success10




 
 
 


Post  Sun, May 12 2019, 1:52 am
Thanks for all your replies. But what about the little guy who might (definitely will) climb the ladder? Or the 5 year old boy who will get up there and just jump off?
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pause




 
 
 


Post  Sun, May 12 2019, 1:58 am
I hate bunkbeds because of the safety hazard, because it's very difficult to change the linen on the top bed, and because I hate the look.

When I had two kids on a trundle who didn't get along, it was very challenging. Still, I would try everything rather than a bunkbed. Maybe you can take the bottom mattress off the frame and place it on the floor perpendicularly to the upper bed.
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studying_torah




 
 
 


Post  Sun, May 12 2019, 2:44 am
Dodgerblue what's a loft bed?
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Success10




 
 
 


Post  Sun, May 12 2019, 3:22 am
Also to clarify, one of our girls is just the type who needs space and is very demanding in general. The other is not, she's very friendly and hardly understands or respects her sister's boundaries. Ideally the girl who needs space would have her own room, but I think it's important that they both learn to live with other people. Is this something they might just outgrow if I find a temporary solution (like having one of them sleep in the boy's room), or is this something I need to help them learn from a young age? I'm very into just giving the kids space to be themselves and not forcing chinuch on them. But maybe it's not in their best interest to bend over backwards to find a solution?
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Raisin




 
 
 


Post  Sun, May 12 2019, 4:40 am
what about 2 cabin beds? the space underneath can be a storage or play area, or even an extra sleeping space. You can put curtains round to create a personal space for each kid. https://www.amazon.co.uk/cabin.....lp_pl_dp_1

I got mine from Ikea but they don't seem to have them anymore. Link above just for illustration.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Sun, May 12 2019, 4:50 am
IMHO, the beds are not the problem.

You need to be firm, and stop the fighting. Bedtime is serious business, and not time for picking fights and messing around.

Try star charts, and be very consistent. If the girls are competitive, let them race to see how many nights in a row they can behave, and the best behaved gets the bigger prize (but the other one gets a smaller prize if she tried really hard.)
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Aylat




 
 
 


Post  Sun, May 12 2019, 5:22 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
IMHO, the beds are not the problem.

You need to be firm, and stop the fighting. Bedtime is serious business, and not time for picking fights and messing around.

Try star charts, and be very consistent. If the girls are competitive, let them race to see how many nights in a row they can behave, and the best behaved gets the bigger prize (but the other one gets a smaller prize if she tried really hard.)


Or that it's a cooperative competition - when they both have x stars they get the prize (which can be sharing or separate).
(Smart competitive kids know how to wind up their siblings so that their sister will disturb and lose points, enabling them to win. If it's a cooperative star chart, they are motivated for the other kid to succeed as well, which is what you want - both of them to go to sleep nicely.)
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Shuly




 
 
 


Post  Sun, May 12 2019, 12:37 pm
I love our bunk bed. The kid who needs space sleeps on top, so she can go up and feel like she has her privacy.
I also have a trundle, which I pull out for a third kid.
During the day, when it's pushed in, the room is very spacious and they play nicely in there.
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amother




Gold


Post  Sun, May 12 2019, 12:55 pm
Bunk beds can be really difficult when the child in the top bunk is sick. It's also hard to change linens or even just make the bed up there.
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