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When did u give ur kids a phone?
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 12:31 pm
We live in Brooklyn. Go to mainstream by school. Daughter will b going to by type high school next year. And she keeps telling me how many friends have their own phones. How it’s not fair We don’t let her have one yet. When did you give your daughter her own phone? What were the rules? Which filter? I do think it would be much easier for me if she had her own phone so I can be in touch with her if she’s out and I need an errand done. Or if she’s with the little kids and I want to check up on them ...
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amother




Ivory


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 12:43 pm
I don't live in Brooklyn, but am mainstream BY and have a few teens. We do not get them their own phones until they are driving. We do have an extra cell phone as a shared "kids phone." They use it when they are going shopping, out with friends, babysitting at a house that does not have a landline, etc. If more than one kid needs/wants to take it as the same time, I have final say as to who gets it, which depends on the situation.

The phone is a "dumb" phone with no internet access. It does have texting, but we restrict what numbers can both receive and send out texts.
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mfb




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 12:44 pm
Have a kids kosher phone for preteens and teens to share
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 12:48 pm
When DD was able to walk to school on her own, we gave her a kid's phone with pre-programmed numbers in case of emergency.

When she got to high school, we gave her a smart phone. I've yet to find a filter she couldn't undo in 5 minutes, so I told her that I know she's a smart kid, and will make good decisions. At that point, it's really out of my hands.
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amother




Saddlebrown


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 12:49 pm
https://www.fatherly.com/gear/.....ones-kids/
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amother




Lilac


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 1:26 pm
What are the school rules regarding phones?
We have a kosher family phone for the kids to use when they go out. They get to have their own (non smart) phone when they graduate high school. I see no reason at all for a teen to have their own phone.

FranticFrummie, the decision was in your hands when you gave such a young girl a smart phone. So if something happens chas veshalom, you've only got yourself to blame.
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icebreaker




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 1:28 pm
12/13.
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yOungM0mmy




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 1:50 pm
My 12 year old son started taking the train to school, so we got him a dumb flip phone that calls and texts. He texts me every day when he gets to school, and uses it to coordinate with the boys he meets up with along the way. In the beginning it was really exciting (pretty much the whole class got dumb phones at the same time as they moved school) and they texted each other rubbish, but now its pretty much used for purpose. My 11 year old will be doing the same next year, so we'll get him one as well.
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amother




Forestgreen


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 1:55 pm
If the phone is for safety purposes then it’s really not a big deal to give your child a flip phone with no internet access.
If your child is asking for a phone to be cool and to be able to go online, well you’re dealing with a whole other issue...
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flowerpower




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 1:58 pm
We have a shared flip phone without internet the kids use when they go out. My son had it the whole bein hazmanim. It was very convenient.
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SingALong




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 2:00 pm
I had a family flip phone for when the kids all went out to the pizza store or the grocery, or out with friends somewhere and may need to call to be picked up. Then when I had 2 kids that were often out separately I got 2 family flip phones. Technically each phone belongs to a certain kid since there’s no one else who needs it. One of my girls are in high school one is in 6th grade. They are not allowed to take it to school.
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Tue, May 14 2019, 2:37 pm
we gave out twins Flip phones when they were in junior high
that was many years ago .
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amother




Jade


Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 7:57 am
I gave my daughters dumbphones when they started high school, but we live OOT and they went to school in Brooklyn and boarded. So we felt that they needed the phones because of traveling home each weekend, and not having to use the boarding family's phone.
However: I was absolutely shocked to see how many girls in their mainstream BY HS had smartphones. My daughters constantly bugged me to get them smartphones as they had serious FOMO because "everyone" else had whatsapp and they didn't. I'm really glad we didn't cave, however.
I have a boy in mesivta who is not allowed to have a phone at all; it's a bit of a pain because we can't really call into the dorm, but he is very good about calling every evening.
My kids who are going to school in our OOT location do not have phones until they drive, and then only dumbphones.
BTW, the daughters I mentioned at the beginning of this post are both post-seminary and neither want to get smartphones even though they earn money and are perfectly capable of buying their own. So I guess they learned something from the experience.
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ra_mom




 
 
 


Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 8:39 am
Keep a flip phone with no internet or texting capabilities (it causes distraction when they are outside and supposed to be aware of their surroundings to keep themselves safe) in the house. It belongs to the parents and the kids don't just have access to it. Give it to children going out on their own so that they are reachable.
Do not send it along to school because when the hanhalah sees it (inevitable) it will blow up.
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chagru




 
 
 


Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 8:45 am
Daughter at 13/14, flip phone with texting. Boys from
14 get a phone bein hazmanim, texting only, though was unlimited and to be honest, was a time waster.
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Pollyanna




 
 
 


Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 9:52 am
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
What are the school rules regarding phones?
We have a kosher family phone for the kids to use when they go out. They get to have their own (non smart) phone when they graduate high school. I see no reason at all for a teen to have their own phone.

FranticFrummie, the decision was in your hands when you gave such a young girl a smart phone. So if something happens chas veshalom, you've only got yourself to blame.


It sounds like her hands were tied in her specific situation. I wouldn't bash her.
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amother




Brown


Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 9:59 am
I got my daughter, who just finished college, her first flip phone when she was 11. She was walking to school herself and taking public transportation, and I wanted her to be able to reach me. She is just now getting her first smart phone. I offered her one after Israel bc all her friends had them, but she preferred to wait. Like FF, I trust my child and she has made good choices.
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Israeli_C




 
 
 


Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 10:00 am
Pollyanna wrote:
It sounds like her hands were tied in her specific situation. I wouldn't bash her.


Agreed. FF has not had an easy time with her DD and I really admire how she has been coping with the situation. Halavai that I could still be as upbeat and positive as she is in the face of so many challenges in life. You can't judge a person til you've walked in their shoes.
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amother




OP


Post  Thu, May 16 2019, 10:23 pm
Op here! Tx all for responding. I want to get my daughter a basic flip phone. No texting. However I don’t want her to b left out of all the going ons in her class/group of friends. Most schools don’t allow phones. But most kids have regardless what the policy is. As wrong as it is that’s the way it is here. I’m also thinking if I get her a phone with majjjor filters then I can use it to take away for day or two as punishment for ex: being extremely chutzpadik or not following the tznius rules in our house (must wear socks/tights to shabbos table)..
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amother




Lilac


Post  Thu, May 16 2019, 10:31 pm
OP, why should your daughter follow the house rules when by giving her a phone, you and her don't follow the school rules?
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