Refuses to go without removing his pants

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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 10:13 am
I'm working on toilet training my toddler and he refuses to go without fully removing his socks , shoes, and pants.

This is super frustrating as it makes it into a whole production every time he needs to go.

Often he decides he needs to go right after getting dressed in the morning or into PJs at night which makes me think it's a delay tactic.

I keep trying to get his reasoning of why he doesn't want to try with his pants around his ankles and he doesn't explain himself. It's turned into a bit of a power struggle.

He has a stool that he climbs onto the toilet and hasn't seemed afraid of it otherwise.

Turning to you wise Mama's for some advice! TIA
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 10:15 am
Sounds annoying, but I'd let it go. It won't last forever, and summer is coming so just keep him dressed in shorts and easy on/off shoes until this phase passes.

Definitely not worth the struggle, though I certainly sympathize.
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 10:18 am
Let it go... He'll get over this need on his own time
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 10:19 am
Teach him how to put on his own pants, socks, and shoes when he's done.
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 10:20 am
I've heard of this before, I don't think it's that unusual. For whatever reason he feels less comfortable when he's wearing it all, but you can't exactly expect him to articulate why. He probably doesn't even know himself. If he's using a stool, he definitely would feel less steady getting on and off if his pants are binding his legs together at the ankles. I definitely wouldn't get into a power struggle over it.
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 10:26 am
My kids did this! I loved the easy pull on pants with elastic and no button or zipper. This stage passed on its own by me.
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 10:50 am
My kids did this including top half!! It doesn’t last forever.
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 10:53 am
Same here. My son who is 5 just stopped.
I’ll agree that it’s super annoying.
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 10:55 am
flmommy wrote:
My kids did this including top half!! It doesn’t last forever.

Or sometimes it does, but then they are old enough to redress themselves. Thank G-d!!
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 11:02 am
It's actually a pretty common thing for little kids to do. 2 of my kids did this and my little one sometimes still does it. It never bothered me. Put on easy leggings and shoes.
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urban gypsy


Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 11:05 am
TBH when I saw this thread title, my reaction was that it is so much more comfortable to remove your pants when you are using the toilet! I've done this when I was sick and if I had the time I wouldn't mind doing this sometimes myself! Tell him if he wants to do it he needs to dress himself afterwards in a timely fashion.
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 12:45 pm
Hugs, my son does this, too! It is my understanding that boys often don't develop the muscle strength in their lower bodies to balance well while relaxing the backside muscles, until puberty gives them a shot of muscle strengthening testosterone. Clothing just adds to their stress.

My son is now in elementary school, and he has been removing his clothes since toilet training at three. He also crouches over the seat with feet on the seat to defecate, so he obviously has to remove his pants, and he removes his socks so they won't make it slippery while crouching. He removes his top clothing so tzitzis won't dip in the toilet. (Just think of everything he has to deal with to complete this daily activity!). He does not remove his clothes for urinating, because he was trained to do so standing. He has always only urinated when away from home, and trained his body to defecate at home.

Here is how we make it work:

1. As soon as he was capable, I taught him to put on his own underwear and pants (he generally wears elastic waste). He needs help with tzitizis and shirt because they get twisted, but we are working on that, and anyway, what are mothers for but to help with that sort of thing?

2. I am VERY makpid on clean bathroom habits for boys, with strict consequences for urinating outside the toilet when standing. They learned quickly, although my boys are not the most coordinated. This way they can urinate comfortably without removing clothing at school, etc. and I don't have to have disgusting bathrooms.

3. I work on my patience and understanding, and I am very loving and accepting of him removing his clothes. I feel he has worked out a system to cope with one struggle of growing up, and I am proud of him for making it work. I know he won't need to take off all his clothes when he uses the bathroom at yeshiva one day!
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 1:02 pm
Yup my son did it too but only when having a BM. He bh got over it. Yes, it was super annoying but you gotta do what makes him more comfortable at this point.
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 1:12 pm
This is one of the most normal and common things! All of my boys and my step sons did this on their own. I never taught them to take off their clothes, they just felt the need and went with it. And not only my kids, so many of the kids that I had when I was a preschool teacher did this as well! The other teachers and I would chuckle at teachers meetings about this at ALL of the schools where I've worked. Its normal, its developmentally normal, its socially normal (meaning, kids of this age do it!), and please PLEASE dont make this into a power struggle. Yes, it can be annoying but it is what it is. Don't use belts at this age, buy only pants/shorts with elastic waste, and use velcro shoes to minimize the time it takes. And get ready, when he starts to wear tzitzis, the shirt and tzitzis will come off also!
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Post  Wed, May 15 2019, 1:46 pm
My son completely stripped every time he needed the bathroom. And I mean everything. I think it was the fear of something possibly maybe getting slightly dirty or wet. He's now a teen and has long outgrown it. It's a frustrating process, but they outgrow the silliness.
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