Aliyah with teens | Imamother

tsfat18

Wed, May 15 2019, 2:02 pm

Hi. Mostly my question is about schools, where to live for teens.
We are a MO family with a fourth grader and two teens , one currently in 9 grade - so he is rather "old" . We are looking to Israel. Concerned about our teens' adjusting. They are NOT kicking and screaming about moving but sad about leaving family, great community and friends. (May be harder for me). They have day school Hebrew with great accents. My Hebrew is passable, husband - not so great.
So we are willing to move to an area where the high schools have best benefits for our kids to make it. (Of course we will need jobs..)

Also thinking of Naale Shaalvim for our son - if anyone has a child there, I would love to hear from you.

Also interested in YTA schools if anyone is familiar with them
Thank you!

FranticFrummie

Wed, May 15 2019, 3:42 pm

How is their conversational Hebrew? If they don't have that skill BEFORE you move, they are most likely going to be miserable.

Just my experience, but I made Aliyah with DD when she was 12. She could not understand the teachers, she had a hard time making friends, and the school did not provide enough Hebrew hours for her to catch on. She was miserable beyond words.

High school did not get any better for her. Long story short, she moved back to the US to live with her dad, and is finishing high school there. She has a lot of credits to make up, but she's working hard and has lots of friends. She is so much happier now, even though we miss each other a lot.

She is also not religious now, at all.

If your kids have a solid Torah foundation, are not the anxious type, and are prepared to get along in Hebrew, they will probably do well, but expect a fair amount of adjustment pains anyway.

One more thing. When you go to interview for schools, they will all promise you the moon and stars. Don't believe them. Try to find some parents who send to that school, and talk to them directly. Even better, ask to talk to their kids. It's the only way to get a true picture.

Please don't let me discourage you. The most successful Aliyah is when you come prepared for all possibilities. It's an amazing place, and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

amother

Apricot

Wed, May 15 2019, 7:16 pm

Just a thought, because I am in your position, although yeshivish. Would you and your kids consider home schooling? Is there even a concept/community of homeschoolers in Eretz Yisrael? I would consider hiring a kollel yungerman to learn a few hours a day with my son's, and teach the English myself/online highschool degree. The whole fitting into the culture/language barrier thing seems to big to overcome, but I want to get out of the US before the big tragedies start coming, lo aleinu, Hashem protect klal Yisrael everywhere.

tsfat18

Wed, May 15 2019, 8:16 pm

Homeschooling is not a good option for us now although I had thought of it in the past. I want the kids to have a peer group.
Franticfrummie I appreciate the honesty sharing. It is truly helpful to be aware of what the schools may offer and what the reality will be. Kol hakavod for staying and making Israel be good for you.
My kids'Hebrew is so,so -but they are unafraid to use it. They are open (right now are happy in their orthodox day school that does have non religious kids), don't necessarily want to go to school all in English but they probably don't realize how challenging the opposite will be. Most likely our family is considered dating leumi, I cover my hair, wear mostly skirts, wear pants when hiking, love being with our secular relatives in Israel, we like to eat and act healthy...
We looked in the North, but now we think we just need an area that works for the kids . So we are open - need some affordability, the right schools for our kids and then of course - jobs!

Ok done with my mouthful. (Stressful time)
thank you!

Rappel

Wed, May 15 2019, 8:25 pm

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

Yes! Homeschooling is very much active in Israel. The groups tend to be regional. If you decide to go the homeschool route, please post in this forum, or pm me. There is a very Israeli process to get your children certified for homeschool.

Rappel

Wed, May 15 2019, 8:34 pm

tsfat18 wrote:

My kids'Hebrew is so,so -but they are unafraid to use it. They are open (right now are happy in their orthodox day school that does have non religious kids), don't necessarily want to go to school all in English but they probably don't realize how challenging the opposite will be. Most likely our family is considered dating leumi, I cover my hair, wear mostly skirts, wear pants when hiking, love being with our secular relatives in Israel, we like to eat and act healthy...
We looked in the North, but now we think we just need an area that works for the kids . So we are open - need some affordability, the right schools for our kids and then of course - jobs!

Ok done with my mouthful. (Stressful time)
thank you!

So what I'm reading:
1. Kids extremely motivated to learn in Hebrew
2. Love nature
3. Religious freedom preferred - or did you just list all that because you don't want to be marked as haredi?
4. Affordable living
5. Good schools
6. Good jobs

Before I even begin to respond, I've learned not to assume on this site: would you consider living on a yishuv? "Over the Green Line" (by Judy Garland Tongue Out

amother

Apricot

Wed, May 15 2019, 8:37 pm

Rappel wrote:

Thank you so much for the generous response, Rappel. I will definitely be messaging you privately alot as we move forward with our Aliyah, if that's ok with you. Can you please explain what regional homeschool groups are? Are there groups of American Olim that speak predominantly English so other Olim can have a peer group to socialize/play sports with? That would be my dream...

Rappel

Wed, May 15 2019, 8:45 pm

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

I want to get out of the US before the big tragedies start coming, lo aleinu, Hashem protect klal Yisrael everywhere.

I find the are mostly two kinds of olim:
1. Runners - people whom are escaping something from their past lives. It could be an abusive family, poverty/debt, a failure to integrate. Unfortunately, they often carry their emotional baggage with them.
2. Crazy People - people for whom everything is good in chutz laaretz, but they still decide to pick up their family and move to a totally different country and culture. Like I said, Crazy. LOL

Usually, they are motivated by G-d's promises about the land and the Torah, and they are very fired up by a messianic spirit.

Group #2 almost always have successful aliyot - their passion pulls them through the hard times. Group #1 almost always doesn't, because landing in Israel doesn't solve your problems, and because you need a real dose of love and determination to get through your "shana rishona" in Eretz Yisrael. The land tries to spit you out. It tests you, shapes you, and ultimately accepts you when you pass. But you have to be willing to stay here forever, through everything, and it will test you.

tsfat18

Wed, May 15 2019, 8:50 pm

You are on it!
Not so interested in a yishuv, and yet if we found one that met our needs we would be open.
Modiin was suggested to us ( I have been there) even though it doesn't seem like our style. And I was hoping for less concrete and may be pricey. It could have the practicalness we seek.
We figured we could in theory move to our preferred place once kids done with school

Rappel

Wed, May 15 2019, 8:53 pm

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

My pleasure! I'll be happy to help, however I can.

Regional groups - this isn't a formal government thing, but in most regions, local homeschoolers organise their own communities, often through Facebook. I know the Jerusalem Anglo homeschooling community meets up in the Biblical Zoo once a week. I don't know of any other region with a very active Anglo group. The Israeli homeschoolers tend to be very welcoming and real, though.

Just want to add: Kudos to you for making your main focus on kodesh! Many Anglo olim forget that, since they're modelling themselves off of the usual homeschooling models. It's so important to nurture that spirituality carefully, if you're not sending your child daily to a religious school. I'm impressed at your focus, and from the get-go I think your children will thrive.

amother

Apricot

Wed, May 15 2019, 9:00 pm

Rappel wrote:

Well that's good, because we definitely fit group #2!

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, May 16 2019, 12:26 am

As someone (MO/ dati leumi) who made aliyah with teens (now successful adults) here is my advice:

1.Move somewhere with lots of English speakers. These are the neighborhoods with the most services, and with lots of people just like you, who can give practical advice.
2. Don't homeschool. For the kids to integrate, they need to have peers. They will be feeling isolated enough. Depending on where you move, the kids may be able to integrate into regular school and not need YTA or Naaleh.
3. Acknowledge the difficulties but keep your eyes on the prize. If your kids feel like you see real value in being in Israel, they will be much more likely to feel it too.
4. Make sure to carve out family time. It sounds like you are a family that could hike together on Friday mornings. Whatever you do, try to strengthen the family unit. I think a lot of olim are so excited by the availability of youth groups and other wonderful things about living in a Jewish country that they figure, hey I'm a stupid immigrant, so I'll let society raise my child. Don't. Be active and involved.

Good luck!!!

FranticFrummie

Thu, May 16 2019, 1:24 am

I'm MO/dati leumi, and I'm very happy in Bet Shemesh Aleph (RBSA).

Before that I lived in Nahariya up North, but it's a very small town and there is not much for teens to do. They usually take the train into Tel Aviv to hang out at the mall or see a movie.

Start making a list of communities, and do a pilot trip where you visit each area. Try to get an invitation to visit a family in each area and pick their brains. Walk around and feel the "energy" of the town. You'll know when the fit is right.

etky

Thu, May 16 2019, 6:34 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

If Modiin is out of the budget, then certainly Raanana will be too expensive. Maybe Beit Shemesh or the Gush.

The Gush certainly fits the bill, from what OP has written.
In any event I would not home school. I think it is a terrible idea.