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13 year old daughter takes forever!

 
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, May 20 2019, 11:16 am
My 13 year old daughter takes forever to prepare at night and goes to sleep so late bec of it and then is exhausted next day! She also spends so much time in bathroom and I can hardly go anywhere without her needing the bathroom immediately and so often! I try to be patient and understanding but why is this?
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Mon, May 20 2019, 11:22 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My 13 year old daughter takes forever to prepare at night and goes to sleep so late bec of it and then is exhausted next day! She also spends so much time in bathroom and I can hardly go anywhere without her needing the bathroom immediately and so often! I try to be patient and understanding but why is this?

Maybe she's a perfectionist.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Mon, May 20 2019, 11:23 am
Have you asked her in a helpful way? She's probably super conscious of her appearance right now, so try to find ways that will allow her to fuss as much as she needs to, without it impacting other people's use of the bathroom.

"DD, I noticed you are spending more time in the bathroom lately. Other people need to use it sometimes. Is there anything you can do to get ready in your room? Do you need me to put a better mirror or lighting in there?"

As for the late nights, find out what she's fussing around about. Either help her streamline her routine, or tell her to start preparing early. Put your foot down about being in bed and lights out by a certain time.

If she's taking an hour long shower, first she has to ask everyone in the house if they need the bathroom before she starts. She needs to pick a time when other people don't need it to get ready. For example, she can't be in the shower before school, when you need to get to work on time.
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amother




Jade


Post  Mon, May 20 2019, 11:23 am
It's normal for some kids to take long getting ready for bed. Have her start earlier.
But what does she do in the bathroom for so long and so often? You need to find out.
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, May 20 2019, 11:27 am
amother [ Jade ] wrote:
It's normal for some kids to take long getting ready for bed. Have her start earlier.
But what does she do in the bathroom for so long and so often? You need to find out.


How can I find out? Should I ask her? I once asked her and it seemed she was constipated.
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amother




Jade


Post  Mon, May 20 2019, 11:31 am
You should ask her in a sensitive way. I'd be worried if my teen would go to the bathroom so often for so long.
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dankbar




 
 
 


Post  Mon, May 20 2019, 11:38 am
Frequent urination can be a sign of diabetes. She might just have small bladder.

She might get lost in a book in the bathroom.
She might hiding out & looking at your phone, playing games, browsing etc.

Maybe she got her period & didn't tell you.

Maybe she's talking to her friends on phone & needs privacy.
Maybe she's shirking responsibility, and not coming out so you can't give her any chores to do.
Maybe she has gastro issues like ibs with changes in bm.
Make sure she doesnt have eating disorder where she is pushing herself to eject meals.
Try to observe.
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, May 20 2019, 11:40 am
dankbar wrote:
Frequent urination can be a sign of diabetes. She might just have small bladder.

She might get lost in a book in the bathroom.
She might hiding out & looking at your phone, playing games, browsing etc.

Maybe she got her period & didn't tell you.

Maybe she's talking to her friends on phone & needs privacy.
Maybe she's shirking responsibility, and not coming out so you can't give her any chores to do.
Maybe she has gasytro issues like ibs with changes in bm.
Try to observe.


She's definitely not doing any of those things in the bathroom and long since has her period. For some reason, she needs to go often and will have dr check out next time I go.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Mon, May 20 2019, 12:02 pm
I would be concerned about a possible medical problem, or OCD. I would explore both possibilities in a sensitive way.
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amother




Jade


Post  Mon, May 20 2019, 12:03 pm
OP, how can you be so sure she is definitely not doing these things in the bathroom??? The first thing that came to my mind was an eating disorder. Observe her eating habits and if she goes to the bathroom right after she eats.
Definitely have her checked out.
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