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Forum
-> Parenting our children
the world's best mom
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 Tue, May 21 2019, 11:17 am
Do you have a child who gets speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, or special ed? Did you ever have a therapist who has been amazingly helpful to you and your child?
What advice would you give to new parents beginning on the therapy journey? How can they get the most benefit from the services that are provided for them?
What do you wish the therapists would know about helping families dealing with children who have special needs? What made some therapists work so well with you and your child?
I am working on an article about helping you and your child gain the most from outpatient therapy. Anyone who feels they have something can contribute, I'd love if you PM me you answers. If you wish to remain anonymous, you can also post on this thread. All identifying factors will be kept confidential. I will not use any personal information unless the person requests that I do.
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amother
Burgundy
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Tue, May 21 2019, 11:19 am
Are you interested in hearing from a therapist's perspective? I can provide that 
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ectomorph
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Tue, May 21 2019, 11:30 am
I recently refused therapy because with my kids issues I have found it isn't worth the stress in the past.
However my child is improving and I had an Eval done to make sure that things are improving.
Pm me if you want to talk. We have done speech in the past. Great for specific issues but useless for more global deficits in my experience.
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aricelli
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Tue, May 21 2019, 11:32 am
Ok- I pm’ed you. But I want to put this out there for parents starting out- sensory gyms in brooklyn: dont just drop your child off twice a week and expect to see results. Come down. Speak to the therapist about goals and progress ; about your child!! Get home excersises to do. My biggest pet peeve is not being allowed into the room. Ask to come in once in a while to join a session (its usually ok) see whats going on and most of all- listen to your kid! If he’s not happy there might be a reason!. Therapy for a little child should be fun!
Last edited by aricelli on Wed, May 22 2019, 12:18 pm; edited 1 time in total
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the world's best mom
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Tue, May 21 2019, 11:33 am
| amother [ Burgundy ] wrote: | | Are you interested in hearing from a therapist's perspective? I can provide that | Yes! I was planning to ask that separately, but you are welcome to answer here.
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aricelli
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Tue, May 21 2019, 11:34 am
Another thing- theres nothing like private pay therapy. My son got way more attention that way and progress was beautiful.
Last edited by aricelli on Tue, May 21 2019, 4:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
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the world's best mom
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Tue, May 21 2019, 11:39 am
| aricelli wrote: | | Another thing- theres nothing like private pay therapy. My son got way more attention that way and progress was beautiful. On the “con” side- the therapist becomes almost part of your family. Do your research before opening your heart and home | Why do you think that is the case? Do you have any advice for therapists who work through the BOE? How could they become more like the private pay therapists?
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aricelli
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Tue, May 21 2019, 11:43 am
| the world's best mom wrote: | | Why do you think that is the case? Do you have any advice for therapists who work through the BOE? How could they become more like the private pay therapists? |
Ok: the centers have many children at once so theres more distraction, also theres nothing like a therapist seeing your child in his home setting. I’m assuming its the money aspect though...when youre paying a bomb you demand more and the therapist gives more.
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the world's best mom
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Tue, May 21 2019, 11:49 am
| aricelli wrote: | | Ok: the centers have many children at once so theres more distraction, also theres nothing like a therapist seeing your child in his home setting. I’m assuming its the money aspect though...when youre paying a bomb you demand more and the therapist gives more. | Does BOE therapy always take place in a center? My children used to have home based therapy, but now after they turn 3, it always has to be in the center. Has there been a change in the system?
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aricelli
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Tue, May 21 2019, 11:54 am
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So- I dont want to hog this thread but I visited Lucy Jane Millers sensory center in Colorado with my little boy. It was unlike any center here in brookkyn. It is child led and fun and playful: OT with a floortime slant. They dont force the child to do things- that works against them, the best part is: The parents are expected to join in the fun. I rode the zipline, wallowed in the ball pit with my child and husband and played in their sensory playground digging in the sand. They do this because they believe the child belongs to the parents- not the therapist. At the end of the day the kid comes home to you- not the therapist. You need the tools.
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the world's best mom
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Tue, May 21 2019, 11:58 am
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aricelli
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Tue, May 21 2019, 12:02 pm
| the world's best mom wrote: | | That sounds amazing! |
Its amazing and sad at the same time. You come home and just dont have it here. My dream is to recreate that center here-
Last edited by aricelli on Wed, May 22 2019, 12:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Burgundy
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Tue, May 21 2019, 12:15 pm
| the world's best mom wrote: | | Yes! I was planning to ask that separately, but you are welcome to answer here. |
Ok
I'm a therapist, working privately with kids at home and school. The absolute most effective way to see improvement is to really understand the underlying cause for whatever functional deficits you're seeing. Don't just accept whatever mumbo jumbo the therapist says; ask questions, read books, watch videos. Ask the therapist how to access information to better understand your child. Once you get to that place of aha! Now it makes sense! You can start implementing whatever suggestions the therapist has for addressing those deficits.
That's said, I don't judge parents. Every parent is working within her own range of abilities, and it's not my place to say that anyone could or should be doing more. However, if you're not as involved in the therapy process, you probably will not see results as quickly or as dramatically. It's a simple calculation of input and output.
Another thing- be wary of therapists who use the same approach for all of their clients. It's one thing to specialize, and be selective about which clients you take on. It's another thing to use the same treatment method for every child who walks through the door. Nothing is that magical. Well, almost nothing. There might be exceptions, but be wary.
Don't start therapy without an evaluation, including a report with specific, measurable goals. Sometimes I have clients who transfer to me from another therapist. Despite the parents paying for an evaluation, they have no written report. You will never remember all of the information without a written report, and neither will the therapist! How can she say there's been progress if you can't refer back to a starting point? Goals should always be established. They should always be specific and measurable. Once those goals are met, new goals can be established. You should never feel like there's no end in sight, or that the therapist is not working towards anything.
Finally, I'll end by saying that I went to a really excellent graduate school and had really great training. Despite that, I was NOT a really great therapist the first few (5?) years of practicing. I was good, just not really great. I did not work privately at the same, as I did not feel I had a broad enough range of experience to do so. Experience is everything. Keep that in mind when choosing a therapist. Also keep in mind that if the therapist doesn't love kids, you don't want her near yours. Yes, there are therapists who do this job without the passion. I have no clue why, but I would keep my kids far away from them.
Sorry for rambling, this was seriously just what came to mind on my lunch break  . Happy to answer anything else that comes up.
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the world's best mom
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Tue, May 21 2019, 12:21 pm
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ectomorph
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Tue, May 21 2019, 12:23 pm
| amother [ Burgundy ] wrote: | Ok
I'm a therapist, working privately with kids at home and school. The absolute most effective way to see improvement is to really understand the underlying cause for whatever functional deficits you're seeing. Don't just accept whatever mumbo jumbo the therapist says; ask questions, read books, watch videos. Ask the therapist how to access information to better understand your child. Once you get to that place of aha! Now it makes sense! You can start implementing whatever suggestions the therapist has for addressing those deficits.
That's said, I don't judge parents. Every parent is working within her own range of abilities, and it's not my place to say that anyone could or should be doing more. However, if you're not as involved in the therapy process, you probably will not see results as quickly or as dramatically. It's a simple calculation of input and output.
Another thing- be wary of therapists who use the same approach for all of their clients. It's one thing to specialize, and be selective about which clients you take on. It's another thing to use the same treatment method for every child who walks through the door. Nothing is that magical. Well, almost nothing. There might be exceptions, but be wary.
Don't start therapy without an evaluation, including a report with specific, measurable goals. Sometimes I have clients who transfer to me from another therapist. Despite the parents paying for an evaluation, they have no written report. You will never remember all of the information without a written report, and neither will the therapist! How can she say there's been progress if you can't refer back to a starting point? Goals should always be established. They should always be specific and measurable. Once those goals are met, new goals can be established. You should never feel like there's no end in sight, or that the therapist is not working towards anything.
Finally, I'll end by saying that I went to a really excellent graduate school and had really great training. Despite that, I was NOT a really great therapist the first few (5?) years of practicing. I was good, just not really great. I did not work privately at the same, as I did not feel I had a broad enough range of experience to do so. Experience is everything. Keep that in mind when choosing a therapist. Also keep in mind that if the therapist doesn't love kids, you don't want her near yours. Yes, there are therapists who do this job without the passion. I have no clue why, but I would keep my kids far away from them.
Sorry for rambling, this was seriously just what came to mind on my lunch break . Happy to answer anything else that comes up. |
This is so true. I've basically figured out my own therapy at home. If I lived in town I would have had better choices. We do evals every so often to help myself pinpoint progresa.
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amother
Slategray
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Tue, May 21 2019, 1:00 pm
One of my kids has autism, and started getting various therapies at age 2. He still gets many therapies, now in upper elementary school.
First off, if your gut is telling you something is off, listen! My pediatrician missed the glaring red flags and kept telling me that kids develop at their own pace--which is true, until it isn't. I also had so many well meaning people telling me about this kid and that kid who didn't speak until they were four and it was all fine. If you're concerned, get the evaluation. These people specialize in development, if nothing is wrong, they will reassure you, if something is wrong, they will pick up on it even if it's subtle.
You need to be an active participant. That doesn't mean you have to be present for the sessions, but you should be checking in regularly with the therapists and reading the reports, and doing follow through on your own between sessions.
It's OK to ask to change therapists. It's also not an indictment of the therapist. Sometimes, it's just a clash and they don't work well together. It's happened a few times that a therapist, who was perfectly competent and nice, just couldn't work effectively with my child. It happens. We both recognized it and requested a change of assignment.
Lastly, it's important not to get caught up in finishing or fixing. Yes, sometimes the child will outgrow the need for intervention. Sometimes they won't, especially if there's an actual diagnosis involved. They day we got that autism diagnosis was bittersweet. Having a name for it is of course helpful, but autism means this is forever. There was no more "well maybe in a few years we can put this therapy business behind us". The needs change, but they will always be there. The goal is no longer to fix a problem but to give him the tools to handle his challenges the best he can and function well in a world that's unfortunately not designed with him in mind.
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aricelli
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Tue, May 21 2019, 1:04 pm
| amother [ Slategray ] wrote: | One of my kids has autism, and started getting various therapies at age 2. He still gets many therapies, now in upper elementary school.
First off, if your gut is telling you something is off, listen! My pediatrician missed the glaring red flags and kept telling me that kids develop at their own pace--which is true, until it isn't. I also had so many well meaning people telling me about this kid and that kid who didn't speak until they were four and it was all fine. If you're concerned, get the evaluation. These people specialize in development, if nothing is wrong, they will reassure you, if something is wrong, they will pick up on it even if it's subtle.
You need to be an active participant. That doesn't mean you have to be present for the sessions, but you should be checking in regularly with the therapists and reading the reports, and doing follow through on your own between sessions.
It's OK to ask to change therapists. It's also not an indictment of the therapist. Sometimes, it's just a clash and they don't work well together. It's happened a few times that a therapist, who was perfectly competent and nice, just couldn't work effectively with my child. It happens. We both recognized it and requested a change of assignment.
Lastly, it's important not to get caught up in finishing or fixing. Yes, sometimes the child will outgrow the need for intervention. Sometimes they won't, especially if there's an actual diagnosis involved. They day we got that autism diagnosis was bittersweet. Having a name for it is of course helpful, but autism means this is forever. There was no more "well maybe in a few years we can put this therapy business behind us". The needs change, but they will always be there. The goal is no longer to fix a problem but to give him the tools to handle his challenges the best he can and function well in a world that's unfortunately not designed with him in mind. |
So well said! I feel that the therapy didnt change my child as much as it changed me. I learned acceptance. I learned to go with the flow. I learned to be easy. I learned to love my child for who he his.
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amother
Firebrick
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Tue, May 21 2019, 1:07 pm
| aricelli wrote: | | Ok- I pm’ed you. But I want to put this out there for parents starting out- sensory gyms in brooklyn: dont just drop your child off twice a week and expect to see results. Come down. Speak to the therapist about goals and progress ; about your child!! Get home excersises to do. My biggest pet peeve is not being allowed into the room. Ask to come in once in a while to join a session (its usually ok) see whats going on. I’ve seen therapists doing their own thing, on cel phones, shmoozing etc. and most of all- listen to your kid! If he’s not happy there might be a reason!. Therapy for a little child should be fun! |
I've had several children receive therapy and I've never heard of a policy of not being allowed in the room. That really shocks me and is not appropriate. I can understand if a parent's presence makes a child behave poorly which sometimes it may, but that's for discussion between the parent and therapist to decide, not a blanket policy!!
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aricelli
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Tue, May 21 2019, 1:09 pm
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One last one (maybe! Sorry- this is my life right now) I think that having the therapists be in contact with one another makes a huge difference. My floortime therapist was in contact with my ot and seit every so often and my seit came down to watch an ot session. The collaboration was huge.
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aricelli
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Tue, May 21 2019, 1:09 pm
| amother [ Firebrick ] wrote: | | I've had several children receive therapy and I've never heard of a policy of not being allowed in the room. That really shocks me and is not appropriate. I can understand if a parent's presence makes a child behave poorly which sometimes it may, but that's for discussion between the parent and therapist to decide, not a blanket policy!! |
Which area?
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