Upsherin | Imamother

amother

Tue, May 21 2019, 5:12 pm

How did you celebrate your son(s) upsherin (if you do that)?
Starting to plan, neither of our families do it, would love to hear general ideas about how it's done (the party, the food, the schedule, the Barber, the family / friends invited etc)
Thanks!!

thunderstorm

Tue, May 21 2019, 5:22 pm

They go from the most simple to elaborate and over the top.

This is what we did. We contacted the school that we planned on taking him to to read the aleph Bais and set up an appointment. We made pekalach for that class as well as pekalach for my son's playgroup class and the first cousins and neighbors .

On the morning of the upsherin the grandfathers , my DH and some of my brothers or brothers in law popped in to take a snip with a scissor and they made a lechaim on cake and schnapps I had set up on the table . (I baked some cakes and rugelach in advance)

My DH finished off the haircut with the machine. Everybody left and then we wrapped my son in a Tallis and took him to cheder where he said the aleph Bais etc with one of the rebbeim. He then handed out pekalach to those boys and we left.
Some neighbors came by to ask for pekalach and then he brought along pekalach to playgroup the next day. It was done simply. No food besides cake and no women besides immediate aunts and grandmothers and no friends.
I did this with all four boys.
My brother just made an upsherin and they invited family but I didn't go. It was on a work day in the morning. Most people can't take off of work to travel in to such an event. They did some snipping, and had cake and cupcakes and some cookies set up. They went to the barber and to the cheder Rebbe. That was the whole thing.

amother

Tue, May 21 2019, 5:28 pm

Thank you for that information!
So my son's birthday is in the summer so we're thinking of possibly doing the hair cut and the going to school separate (if that's considered ok - we can still do the aleph Bais at home). We'd also like to do it on a Sunday.

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, May 21 2019, 5:28 pm

I was invited to one by email the thank you note was send by mail
the boy read the aleph bais and maybe a brahca
they served ziti and had water at the tables they made a short video
it was very nice they read a letter from the rebbi.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, May 21 2019, 8:36 pm

According to my husband, the hachnasa l'cheder (taking boy to cheder in tallis, candies thrown) doesn't have to be together with the upshernish. So we didn't do it together.

We did a small thing in shul. Cake and mashkeh/drinks. Various friends/relatives came and snipped his hair. We made a big deal with him about starting to wear yarmulke and tzitzis. Afterwards, we took him to the barber and then had a birthday party at home just for our family. It was very low key and very nice.

He had a separate birthday party in school, just like any preschool birthday party.

Many people do bigger affairs. I personally prefer smaller and low key. This particular child would also not have enjoyed a big event.

erm

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:09 pm

My son's upsherin was in the summer. We just took him to the Rav of our soul's house and he cut a small piece of hair and said the alef bris with him. He gave him a couple of candies. We then went straight to the barber for the regular haircut. I made a small pizza party, with a nice cake, for a couple of his cousins that were home in the city on a sunday in august.

amother

Yellow

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:35 pm

My son's birthday was in the middle of the winter.
We did the cutting at night , set out cake and chocolates and pekalach. All the uncles came, some cousins, the grandmothers. Then the next morning we wrapped him in a tallis and took him to cheder. I felt dividing the affairs would be less overwhelming to my child.
We hold that you need to cut and take the child to cheder to read the alef beis and some other stuff on the Hebrew birthday.

amother

Linen

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:35 pm

You don't wanna know what crazy parties people do for an upsherin! They cost more than a bar mitzvah. My sis n law is a party planner, the events people make is absolutely ridiculous. In a hall, a fancy theme, lighting, music, photography, fancy foods, adults only..... the parents nebach forget about the 3 year old and that its his day. It's sad.

amother

Pewter

Tue, May 21 2019, 10:08 pm

My first son was in June I made a milchig party with bagels, lox, spreads, cheesecakes, smoothies, salads, fruit, etc. I invited family and close friends. We did not take him to a school since he wasn't speaking yet. (My family doesn't so upsherin and I actually didn't know ppl really do it...thought it was only in books)

My next ds is having his upsherin this summer. He was born in the nine days and we actually just looked at a calendar tonight and I think we are doing it before the three weeks on July 14. I am debating between a big BBQ bash and something smaller. I love hosting and planning parties and it's fun for me.

yksraya

Tue, May 21 2019, 10:10 pm

We did a breakfast for relatives. Some of the time just a quick breakfast for only the men. sometimes a fancy one and we invited the woman too. Depending on if I was in the mood to make a big bash (don't worry, nothing crazy or expensive).

We would then do the haircut and I would quickly bathe him, dress him nicely and take him with tallis to cheder for the alef bais reading. We gave the pekelach for the cheder kids, cousins and neighbors.

Btw, ds is having his upsherin on lag b'omer. Were making it low key this time. No fanfare. We are also having a close chasuna that night, so we don't want anyone to feel pressured to come.

amother

Salmon

Tue, May 21 2019, 11:24 pm

We only have one son so we made a big deal. Invited almost 100 people, had a full catered dinner at shul with music and entertainment for kids. Videographer, photographer. He read the aleph bais from a laminated place mat and licked honey off of it. Everyone got a turn to cut a little bit. He gave each person a coin for tzedakkah as they came up. Barber fixed it the next day.
We've also been to very simple family-only ones at home. And everything in between.

yerushamama

Wed, May 22 2019, 12:26 am

The haircut itself doesn't have to be on hos birthday - many people do that on lag b'omer or another significant day. On his birthday, we take the child to cheder wrapped in a tallis for his "official" start in learning aleph beis. We will BE"H be making my grandson's "hachnosso l'cheder" on his birthday, with the upsherin itself two days later (on my birthday Hooray

) in Meiron.

amother

Tan

Wed, May 22 2019, 12:39 am

We did a bris type party. Bagels, lox, vegetable platters, etc. we had about 100 people in our shul social hall.
Boy sat in chair, all the relatives (women included) got to take a snip. Barber came and finished the haircut on the spot. Drizzled honey on laminated א-ב chart which he licked off and everyone ate brunch. Kids got candy bags.