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Chassidish minhg-not giving fish to babies
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ichbingreit




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 11:28 am
I happen not to give my baby fish because of the minhag not to give fish before the baby starts talking. But rethinking this because of all the nutrients fish has.

Was wondering if anyone has an explanation for this minhag? or a source?
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tigerwife




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 11:29 am
I have actually heard this minhag attributed to Sephardim.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 11:35 am
Never knew it's a Chasidish thing. I always knew not to give fish to babies until they had teeth and it had to do with the fact that fish has bones. So I guess back in the day when this was implemented it was a safety thing since babies could c"v choke if there was a bone in their fish. That was before canned tuna or salmon fillet. By the time they have teeth they are older , can chew properly and I guess understand to spit out a bone if it was in its mouth. That's what I was told as a child. I don't know if it's true or not.
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 11:39 am
tigerwife wrote:
I have actually heard this minhag attributed to Sephardim.


I'm sephardic and have never heard of this. Keep in mind that there are very few universal "sephardic" minhagim. Each country of origin has its own minhagim.
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tigerwife




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 11:44 am
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
I'm sephardic and have never heard of this. Keep in mind that there are very few universal "sephardic" minhagim. Each country of origin has its own minhagim.


Yes. I meant to add to my post that I would be interested in hearing the source because both “chassidish” and “Sephardic” are really huge pools of people with many different customs in each circle, depending more in original location. So it is interesting that this is attributed to both parties.

I believe that I heard people to not give it until the child can talk. This is not my minhag in any case.
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Zehava




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 11:46 am
AFAIK it’s a safety thing passed on through generations. Not to give a kid fish until they say fish.
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ShishKabob




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 11:48 am
I was told that there isn't a solid mikor behind it. It may be because it's not healthy for such young children, or because of the bones.
However, even if it may be 'babbeh meises' the Rashba says that we have to be careful with things that the 'babbes' 'noshim zikeinim' used to say. The question is, how far do we take these things.
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cbsp




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 11:53 am
ichbingreit wrote:
I happen not to give my baby fish because of the minhag not to give fish before the baby starts talking. But rethinking this because of all the nutrients fish has.

Was wondering if anyone has an explanation for this minhag? or a source?


Yes, it has to do with the fish not being a "medaber" (having the power of speech) and we humans do.

There is a (kabalistic) source to this minhag. Ask your LOR f you're of a community that holds this way and there's a specific reason you think this particular child needs the fish.

Cute story : my sister married into a community that holds this way. Her daughter was taking her sweet time learning to talk and my sister was frustrated that she couldn't give her kid (who was eating regular food at this point) gefilte and tuna fish. I think they solved it because "dag" was easier for her to say than "fish"
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Rappel




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 11:57 am
cbsp wrote:
Yes, it has to do with the fish not being a "medaber" (having the power of speech) and we humans do.



Do carrots medaber? Tongue Out
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cbsp




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 12:06 pm
Rappel wrote:
Do carrots medaber? Tongue Out

LOL
No, but it's vegetation.

I think every other creature has speech but fish, which in some sense is good (no lashon hora, etc).

#notmyminhag
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amother




Peach


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 12:23 pm
cbsp wrote:
LOL
No, but it's vegetation.

I think every other creature has speech but fish, which in some sense is good (no lashon hora, etc).

#notmyminhag


The fish do "say" something in Perek Shira...or did you literally mean the sounds they make?

And I learned from my rebbetzin that this is our minhag, and I always assumed that meant it was Viznitz. Do all chassidim do it?
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cbsp




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 12:31 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
The fish do "say" something in Perek Shira...or did you literally mean the sounds they make?

And I learned from my rebbetzin that this is our minhag, and I always assumed that meant it was Viznitz. Do all chassidim do it?


Yes, physical speech.

My brother-in-law is Bobov...
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amother




Natural


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 12:38 pm
Never heard of this!
I’ve given fish sticks, gefilte fish to my kids..
Lakewood yeshivish..
Maybe they were talking a little... don’t remember
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Stars




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 1:22 pm
It has no mekor. I have been over this with about a dozen knowledgeable people, including daas torah. Please ask your own daas torah though.
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tweety1




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 2:08 pm
Stars wrote:
It has no mekor. I have been over this with about a dozen knowledgeable people, including daas torah. Please ask your own daas torah though.

Minhagim don't necessarily need a makor. Some minhagim you do just cuz my mother did so cuz her did so cuz her mother did so. Your mother or dh mother. I know not everybody agrees, but that's where mesorah comes in.
Eta: in my family kid has to say a few words. In dh family kid has to say fish. I follow dh cuz he's the boss.
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caza




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 2:47 pm
I am chassidish and never heard of It....
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 3:32 pm
tweety1 wrote:
Minhagim don't necessarily need a makor. Some minhagim you do just cuz my mother did so cuz her did so cuz her mother did so. Your mother or dh mother. I know not everybody agrees, but that's where mesorah comes in.
Eta: in my family kid has to say a few words. In dh family kid has to say fish. I follow dh cuz he's the boss.


Wrong. And I will keep on repeating until I'm blue in the face. Every legitimate minhag has a mekor in halacha. Ex. Men have minhag to fold tallis right after Shabbos ( not allowed to fold on shabbos). This minhag has root in halacha. You are supposed to do something every day in preparation for shabbos. So immediately after shabbos over we start preparing for next shabbos.
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amother




Wheat


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 3:56 pm
tweety1 wrote:
Minhagim don't necessarily need a makor. Some minhagim you do just cuz my mother did so cuz her did so cuz her mother did so. Your mother or dh mother. I know not everybody agrees, but that's where mesorah comes in.
Eta: in my family kid has to say a few words. In dh family kid has to say fish. I follow dh cuz he's the boss.


Of course it needs a makor. If my mother hates the color pink and never bought clothing in that color, and I follow suit, and then my children do too - is that a minhag?
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member




 
 
 


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 3:59 pm
Interesting how people just assume that certain minhagim stem from particular communities. My great grandmother always used to say that if you want a kid to talk quickly, when you cook your Shabbos fish, before you taste to see if it's spiced right, give the baby a drop of the fish sauce (water it's being cooked in) and it's a segula to start talking. My mother did it with us and when she was in the country it was actually mainly the Hungarians that thought she was nuts that she was giving the fish sauce and they were confronting her as to why she's doing so cuz according to them it was the worst thing one could do
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amother




Pewter


Post  Thu, May 23 2019, 4:12 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
Wrong. And I will keep on repeating until I'm blue in the face. Every legitimate minhag has a mekor in halacha. Ex. Men have minhag to fold tallis right after Shabbos ( not allowed to fold on shabbos). This minhag has root in halacha. You are supposed to do something every day in preparation for shabbos. So immediately after shabbos over we start preparing for next shabbos.


What does that have to do with Shalom B-ayas? Is the Mekor not to leave your Tallis flying around that ur wife gets upset?
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