Male workers in female clothing stores

amother

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:20 am

As of late, I've been shopping in women's clothing stores and I've noticed the man who owns the store working behind the counter - as the cashier. I know there is nothing assur with this per se (and I am not discussing the man's perspective here); but still, something feels wrong about it and my conscious tells me it just isn't ok.
Any thoughts?
And should/could I do something about it?

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:24 am

This has been driving me crazy for years. Fashion Island has it. It makes me really uncomfortable. There's an open dressing room there, which is bad enough. I know that the guy doesn't come to the dressing room, but still...

Last edited by amother on Mon, Jul 08 2019, 11:37 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Green

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:28 am

I hate it

Who wants to ask a male should I get the size 2 or 2 plus stockings?
Or have him lecture you that your girls are putting on their tights incorrectly and that is why they tore?
Are have a young man sit in the front of a small narrow store with just curtains by the dressing room?
Or have to ask him for the extra large because it is to tight? Do you have something else cut better.

I hate hate hate.
And it’s bevoming more common in Lakewood.

amother

Amethyst

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:56 am

Maybe instead of looking at him as a “male” (gasp), view him as a husband and father trying to earn an honest living..

amother

Ecru

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:03 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It feels wrong and feels like its not ok because you aren't used to it.

If he increased his prices by 20% so that he could hire someone and stay behind the scenes - would you prefer that?

amother

Yellow

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:07 am

I wonder if the people who are ok with this, were also the ones who were lecturing about men & women working in the same office and how bad it is if they adress each other by first names?

SuperWify

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:09 am

The first time I ever saw this was in Geula. I was trying on a skirt using the mirror put of the dressing room- it was the only one- and the very religious looking male cashier was telling me “it fits good.”

Yuck.

amother

Cerise

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:12 am

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

Maybe instead of looking at him as a “male” (gasp), view him as a husband and father trying to earn an honest living..

This.

Heads of Class in Lakewood has that. He never comes out from behind the counter and anything specific to women's clothing that you need he says to ask one of the many available women working in the store. He's an eidel man who, along with his wife, work extremely hard to make an honest living.

I guess if he was more hands on I'd be uncomfortable. He isn't anywhere near the dressing rooms (!) and doesn't know much about the women's clothing. His wife helps us out when we go. He doesn't want to be there any more than you want him there.

amother

Oak

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:16 am

amother [ Ecru ] wrote:

It feels wrong and feels like its not ok because you aren't used to it.

If he increased his prices by 20% so that he could hire someone and stay behind the scenes - would you prefer that?

Or maybe it’s not tznius.

ra_mom

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:17 am

I'll never forgot the time I went to a makeup shop and the frum male bearded man starting showing me lipstick colors that would work with my skin tone. I was not a happy customer.

amother

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:22 am

Op here.
I understand this may be more common in some communities, but where I live it really wasn't a thing until recently.
I just feel that it is wrong for it to become a new standard.

Purple2

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:26 am

Sorry amother silver. One of the most famous custom suit companies populated by Frum males, is owned and run by a women.
Never heard a complaint about that.

amother

Ecru

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:35 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Op here.
I understand this may be more common in some communities, but where I live it really wasn't a thing until recently.
I just feel that it is wrong for it to become a new standard.

Just don't shop there.

Retail is about customer experience, especially when there are online alternatives.

Margins are very thin.

amother

Puce

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:35 am

camp wrote:

Sorry amother silver. One of the most famous custom suit companies populated by Frum males, is owned and run by a women.
Never heard a complaint about that.

I remember reading about it-and finding it queer. I know she's very popular, but the men in my life don't shop there. There are other options. Not saying its wrong, but the ppl in my life don't feel comfortable with this. Maybe we're too sensitive.

amother

Purple

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:36 am

singleagain wrote:

Does it bother you if you are in the mall/department store or only in Jewish owned stores?

I think a large part of the problem doesn't exist in the mall or department stores. In a lot of the frum stores theres no mirrors in the dressing room forcing you to have to come out and see if the clothing fits.

It makes me super uncomfortable to have to check if a dress is too tight by my tush or on top knowing that there is a man in the store who can be coming to the back any second (in my local frum store the storage room is by the dressing room). Why is this ok? Or lets say I'm trying something on that needs a shell but I'm not wearing one how am I supposed to see if it fits if there is a man in the store?

singleagain

Mon, May 27 2019, 10:40 am

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

Thank you for explaining. I don't shop in frum stores. (I mostly buy online) So I didn't quite understand the issues. That would prob make me very uncomfortable to.

amother

Silver

Mon, May 27 2019, 11:00 am

camp wrote:

Sorry amother silver. One of the most famous custom suit companies populated by Frum males, is owned and run by a women.
Never heard a complaint about that.

I do know of a place like that in Teaneck. But I'm guessing that the sensitivities in Lakewood are different.