Do you live near your mum

amother

Tangerine

Tue, May 28 2019, 10:01 pm

We both grew up in USA and then made Aliyah. My family is still in USA and there’s no nonstop flight to their city so we’re over 12 hours away from them.
After many years my in laws followed us and now live less than 10 min walk from us, as of this year.
I wish my family would come as well but I’m much closer with in laws than with my parents anyway.
We learned to manage without any family close by for many years, but it’s wonderful for my children to have grandparents nearby. We’re very happy they joined us.

amother

Crimson

Tue, May 28 2019, 10:12 pm

I grew up with both sets of grandparents a couple hours drive (one 2/12 and the other 8 hour drive). One of the perks I wished for when in shidduchim was getting engaged to s/o from my hometown, and living with both sets of grandparents local.
I feel blessed that I recieved this gift and that I can give it to my children. My parents aren't involved in my life on a daily basis, but I know that I always have whom to fall back on in case of emergency. And we visit both DH and my own parents each Shabbos.

crust

Tue, May 28 2019, 10:33 pm

5 minutes drive to both.
We barely ever walk to them we only go by car but they live in center so its easy to drop in when we're there.

I'm happy bh but at this point I would love to move closer even it means living in a smaller home.

amother

Peach

Tue, May 28 2019, 10:41 pm

2 min. walk to parents.
10 min. walk to in-laws.
Same neighborhood where I grew up.
Very happy B”H.

We are very independent, and neither set of parents is the intrusive type who would mix into our business. I am thrilled that our kids receive the benefit of a close relationship with their grandparents, and I am glad that we are able to be there for our parents, when they need us.

amother

Silver

Wed, May 29 2019, 6:03 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Are you close? Do you live near where you grew up. Near your parents?
Do you live near husband's family?.
Are you content?

No we're not close. I dress talking to my parents , had a very abusive childhood. We live 11 hours away from my parents and 3 hours away from mil and fil. We get along with fil. We see him maybe 7 times a year.
My parents and mil almost never.

I'm content because we don't have contact with them.

DVOM

Wed, May 29 2019, 6:21 am

We live an hour and a half drive away from my parents, and a 10-12 hour flight away from my in-laws. I used to wish we lived closer to both sets of parents, and I am sometimes jealous of the easy access my nieces and nephews who live close by have to their bubbies and zaidys, but I think the independence of living a bit away has been wonderful for me and my husband and wonderful for our family unit. We go to the bungalow colony with my parents and some of my siblings, so my kids get to have those summers of family bonding. I dearly wish we had a way to spend more time with my in laws. We have only been able to afford a visit to them with our kids once, and they don't travel, so for my kids it's really a phone call relationship. It always makes me sad.

yo'ma

Wed, May 29 2019, 9:54 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Are you close?

I was to my mother and fine with my father.

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Do you live near where you grew up.

I used to, about. Now, not at all.

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Near your parents?

My parents lived in the same place since I was about 11,12, so same answer as previously.

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Do you live near husband's family?.

Yes

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Are you content?

I suppose you're asking in reference to living distance to family and I would say yes. I liked living near my family and I'm fine with not too.

Iymnok

Wed, May 29 2019, 10:00 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Are you close? Do you live near where you grew up. Near your parents?
Do you live near husband's family?.
Are you content?

1 Somewhat
2 not at all
3 my parents still live in the same city my father was born in. My mother has always dreamed of Aliya, now she’s pushing hard.
4 In spirit (they died a while ago)

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, May 29 2019, 11:21 am

J live 5 kin walk- love it, I go whenever I want or need but not daily. I am lucky that my mother doesn't put pressure and stays out of our life but she loves that we visit.
Live 5 hour flight from my in laws and I would never be able to live near them, It pressure even when we visit.
Life is great child!

amother

Oak

Wed, May 29 2019, 12:16 pm

Live 14 hours flight from my parents

2 hour flight from in laws

I wish we lived closer so my kids can grow up with grandparents,cousins ,aunts and uncles
I had that growing up and im sad for them they dont:(
yes bh content where we are, its a great place for our family even if I DO miss my family a lot.

Fox

Wed, May 29 2019, 12:21 pm

One married DD lives a few blocks away, and her twin sister will also be moving a few blocks away next month, I"YH. A single DD lives in NY but comes home (Chicago) frequently. Oldest son lives nearby but driving distance, and youngest son lives at home.

One of our goals was encouraging our kids to live nearby for all the reasons other posters have mentioned. However, I'm amazed at all the little perks I never envisioned. For example, married DD and I have gotten into a routine where one of us bakes challah every week. Our recipe makes enough for both households. Then we got smart and made ten potato kugels one afternoon, and each of us took five to freeze. DD likes to make desserts, so for Yomim Tovim, she makes enough for both of us to serve. As soon as her sister moves back, we can divvy up even more of the cooking.

We can't necessarily provide financial support in the form of a check, but I keep a storeroom of paper goods and shelf-stable food products that the married kids can take. We also work hard not to be intrusive. I think I've been in my married DD's apartment once or twice.

I don't think in terms of "close" or "not close." Most normal relationships go through phases. There may be times when you're especially close with a child/parent, and then times when you're a little more independent for whatever reason.

So far, so good!

mha3484

Wed, May 29 2019, 1:01 pm

Live 10 min from my father and 25 min from my mother. Closer to my father but get along fine with my mom too. My mothers parents are 30 min away which is really nice for all of us. My siblings live thousands of miles away and are very unlikely to move back to where we grew up.

Inlaws live 1000 miles away. We are not so close but its extremely complicated.

My parents still work so they cant offer me much help which is fine but we see them a few sundays a month. At my age (mid 30's and parents in their 60's) the dynamic is slowly changing to what I can do for them. My mother has a great support system of friends and family but my father really does not so I really prioritize calling every few days and visiting regularly.