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Lakewood neighborhoods and schools
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Fri, May 31 2019, 12:24 pm
Yeah, I am definitely looking for the simpler gashmiyus standards overall.

I'm so sick and tired of the whole Flatbush show.

I guess I'm looking for a place in the tri-state area that's more out-of-town.


Last edited by amother on Sun, Jul 07 2019, 12:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Chocolate


Post  Fri, May 31 2019, 12:31 pm
Maybe Passaic? I've never lived there, but know people who went there after being jaded by Lakewood. There are all types. And I know there are sincere people who want to grow there who you would fit in with.
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doctorima




 
 
 


Post  Fri, May 31 2019, 12:35 pm
From what you've written, I don't think you'll be happy long-term in Lakewood. Sure, there are plenty of young families like you moving to Lakewood, Jackson, and Toms River, but there's still enough establishment power in terms of schools that will likely infuriate you over time (see the poster today whose daughter was placed in a high school to which she didn't even apply). You'll also encounter quite a bit of superficiality, judgments, and gashmiyus that will really rub you the wrong way. If you don't want to go as far as Baltimore, I'd suggest looking into Bayswater/Far Rockaway, Passaic, and also Edison/Highland Park.
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groisamomma




 
 
 


Post  Fri, May 31 2019, 2:45 pm
doctorima wrote:
From what you've written, I don't think you'll be happy long-term in Lakewood. Sure, there are plenty of young families like you moving to Lakewood, Jackson, and Toms River, but there's still enough establishment power in terms of schools that will likely infuriate you over time (see the poster today whose daughter was placed in a high school to which she didn't even apply). You'll also encounter quite a bit of superficiality, judgments, and gashmiyus that will really rub you the wrong way. If you don't want to go as far as Baltimore, I'd suggest looking into Bayswater/Far Rockaway, Passaic, and also Edison/Highland Park.


My thoughts exactly. I'm thinking Far Rockaway, Passaic/Clifton, or Edison.
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LiLIsraeli




 
 
 


Post  Fri, May 31 2019, 2:58 pm
doctorima wrote:
From what you've written, I don't think you'll be happy long-term in Lakewood. Sure, there are plenty of young families like you moving to Lakewood, Jackson, and Toms River, but there's still enough establishment power in terms of schools that will likely infuriate you over time (see the poster today whose daughter was placed in a high school to which she didn't even apply). You'll also encounter quite a bit of superficiality, judgments, and gashmiyus that will really rub you the wrong way. If you don't want to go as far as Baltimore, I'd suggest looking into Bayswater/Far Rockaway, Passaic, and also Edison/Highland Park.


Agree. Despite the distance from Brooklyn, Lakewood/Jackson/Toms River is very much an "in-town" community. If you don't care about style and keeping up with the Cohens, you may find yourself out of the loop. Is that wrong? Probably, but this is the reality. A more toned-down, low-key community like Passaic or Highland Park might be a better fit.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sun, Jun 02 2019, 12:48 am
groisamomma wrote:
My thoughts exactly. I'm thinking Far Rockaway, Passaic/Clifton, or Edison.


The problem is, Far Rockaway/Bayswater is NYC, which means it's most likely expensive. Also, where am I going to send my kids to school? The tuition is a fortune without the benefit of cheaper houses.

With Passaic/Clifton, I'm hearing not-so-good things about the schools. It kind of freaks me out. Also, housing isn't that cheap there, and my friend who's moving there told me that the houses are really old.

My SIL and BIL looked into Edison; they said that the community there is more modern than they wanted. They are pretty similar to us hashkafically. Is there something we're missing?


Last edited by amother on Sun, Jul 07 2019, 12:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Chocolate


Post  Sun, Jun 02 2019, 7:16 am
I think no community is going to be perfect. Highland Park/Edison has a big range from modern to yeshivish (think yeshiva/Kollel). My info is a little out of date, but there is definitely young people who are around your haskafa. But it's a mix and it may not be a huge number. I think it's cheaper than Passaic and I've heard good things about the school from people who are around your haskafa.

I have friends who send the yeshiva ketana in Passaic who are around this haskafa... They are relatively happy. I'm not sure what you heard. No school is perfect. The houses are old.
I don't know much about the other communities.
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doctorima




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jun 02 2019, 10:36 am
What you're "missing" is that no community will be perfect. Every place will have its pros and cons - financial, location, religious, schooling, population, jobs, etc. You have to find the place that's best aligned with your family's situation, and accept that it will have its issues too.

In Lakewood you'll save money on housing and tuition, but likely will go crazy with all the other stuff that happens there that will get under your skin like nothing else.

Bayswater real estate is cheaper than Far Rockaway, but tuition at Darchei and TAG (schools you'd likely be happy with) isn't cheap.

Passaic houses are generally older, but neighboring Clifton has many newer houses, and they all go to the same schools. I think you could be happy at Yeshiva Ketana, but there are also a few other options there you could look into.

Highland Park definitely has a more modern element. There are 2 schools there, and the real MO send to the other school, but the more right-wing school will have more of a mix than you're used to from Brooklyn. For some that's a negative due to the exposure, while for others it's a valued OOTish diversity. Real estate there is relatively affordable, though property taxes can be high.

Baltimore has cheap housing but tuition isn't cheap, and it's much farther from your families. As I said, every place will have pros and cons, but I think that from what little I know of you, one of these other options will work much better for you in the long-term than Lakewood.
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amother




Mint


Post  Sun, Jun 02 2019, 11:46 am
I dont know much about you or about the school situation in lkwd as I am not up to that point yet. But in terms of neighborhoods...u can definitely find jackson or toms river neighborhoods that are nice frum and friendly. I currently live in jackson and love it there because of the out of town nice feel! Even if people are different then you, because communitites are still growin genereally ppl are nice more accepting! Again you have to do your own researvh w a real estate agent that know jackson and toms river areas. There are some toms river areas tht are super fancy but anyhow they r usually more exp houses rivher ppl so it doesnt seem that youd even look into such a n area. The areas w simpler affordable homes I found to b nicer more friendly no pressure.etc but of course its each couples opinions and docisions! Good luck!
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Mommyg8




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jun 02 2019, 1:00 pm
My two cents...

I don't know much about the crowd but I hear that there a lot of younger neighborhoods that are very different than the neighborhoods many above are talking about. They are more mixed, but although New York styles and gashmiyus has definitely come to Lakewood, I think it's still more toned down than New York. So for that reason, I would not tell you to write Lakewood off your list.

What I think is a bigger issue is the financial aspect. Lakewood sounds cheaper on paper as the housing is cheaper, but there is a lot to keep in mind before you move here. First, property tax is very high, and is only going up. Second, the houses you are talking about may be old and need extensive renovations. Third, there is no public transportation here so most need two cars (and are paying for two cars to be insured). Fourth, while tuition is cheaper here, it's almost impossible to get a scholarship so for some it may come out to actually be more. And yeshivos are not as cheap as they used to be. Fifth, and I think this is the clincher, people have a hard time finding good jobs here. There is no question that many are doing well and have good jobs, but as a general rule, the good jobs are in New York. You have to be ok with a very long commute (which speaking from experience is really hard) or settling for a lower salary, or even a job that you don't really want.

I think it's important to crunch all the numbers in a realistic way before you move. What kind of job can you get? What kind of job can your husband get? Are these jobs realistic to get in Lakewood? How much is the house REALLY going to cost you? Are you factoring in all costs such as cars, maintenance, gas, insurance, water bills (some areas they can be over $150 a month), home maintenence?

Hope this was helpful.
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frosting




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 10 2019, 11:14 pm
Jackson and Toms River have a lot to offer to those seeking a sense of community with a lower standard of living.
I've lived in Lakewood and now live in a neighboring town and it is simply incomparable.

Life here is simple, toned down and has a warm communal feeling with all the conveniences of In town living just minutes away.


Feel free to pm.
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