Cleaning lady called Rebbe a 'hairy b@stard'

amother

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:50 pm

Well, the title basically speaks for itself. We are a Lubavitch family and have a big picture of the Rebbe in our home. The cleaning lady asked me 'Who's that hairy b@stard?' in a joking manner when getting ready to leave today. I was shocked and answered 'the Rebbe' and she had no idea who he is and left on her merry way not realizing she'd been offensive!! Is that a firing offense?!? She's a mediocre cleaner - comes 15 mins late, leaves 5 mins early, there are things I need to redo afterwards. It's her 3rd time in our home. She's an immigrant and fairly 'new in town'. I think we're the first frum family she's ever had interactions with.

Thoughts?!

trixx

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:52 pm

I'm not offended (edit bc how is she to know?) but I think that comment speaks to her character and integrity so for that reason alone I wouldn't want to employ her.

Last edited by trixx on Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:54 pm; edited 1 time in total

thunderstorm

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:52 pm

How is she supposed to know who "The Rebbe" is. How about sharing beautiful stories about him? I'm not sure why she spoke like that. Maybe she's not a mentch. But you shouldn't expect her to know who the Rebbe is without educating her.

roses

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:52 pm

No, this is not a reason to fire a cleaning lady! She is there to clean, not to honor or respect your rebbe, who looks like any other old man to her!
And you're not looking to marry off your son to her. Just be happy someone is coming to your house and is willing to scrub your toilets

Rachel Shira

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:54 pm

Such a strange thing to say. What if it were your great grandfather? Why would she say that about anyone? Does she know what it means?
I don’t know if I’d fire her just for that but if she’s not doing a great job and she’s a little off too I might let her go.

Rappel

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:55 pm

It sounds like she was trying to be friendly. Sometimes you just have to take things in the spirit in which they are given.

Example: My FIL calls the Rebbe "Mr. Mayonnaise," because of the famous picture of the Rebbe with his hand open to the side - he thinks it looks like a billboard advertisement, and he just pictures the Rebbe holding out a jar: "Hellman's, the REAL mayonnaise"!!!

Last edited by Rappel on Thu, Jun 13 2019, 3:06 pm; edited 2 times in total

Rachel Shira

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:55 pm

roses wrote:

My question is why would any person comment on any old man (or any person) like that? If she was curious who it was she could have asked politely. Obviously she isn’t expected to honor the Rebbe or know who he is, but there’s basic decency.

tigerwife

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:56 pm

What a shockingly disrespectful way to phrase a question. It could have been a photo of your father. Why would you hang up a photo prominently in your own home if that person wasn’t important to you?

I would be very turned off. She is either very unintelligent or nasty.

Soul on fire

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:56 pm

I'd fire her for the not cleaning well and being late and leaving early part. What a jerk though for saying something like that...what if it was a picture of your father or something. I wouldn't want someone so rude and disrespectful in my home.

Rappel

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:58 pm

roses wrote:

your rebbe, who looks like any other old man to her!

Exactly. And if you're not from the culture, then the big, untrimmed beard looks wild, maybe biker, or hipster. She probably just wanted to hear about this cool guy who was worth a full-size portrait in your home.

Last edited by Rappel on Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:59 pm; edited 1 time in total

csfm

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 2:58 pm

How did she know that the picture on the wall of your home wasn't of a dear relative of yours? Her comment demonstrates, at the very least, a shockingly inappropriate level of poor judgement and lack of caring. I would personally feel uncomfortable having to communicate about personal things (such as cleaning my home) to someone so thoughtless and callous.

Last edited by csfm on Thu, Jun 13 2019, 3:06 pm; edited 2 times in total

Amalia

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 3:03 pm

How good is her English? Did she know/understand the word that she used?

She - as well as any other person - is not expected or obligated to know who the Rebbe is, but is expected and obligated to talk and behave like a mentch.

gingertop

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 3:22 pm

Amalia wrote:

I agree with both your points. If her English is very poor, she may have thought that what she said was edgy and funny. She may not have realized how completely inappropriate it was.

It's so "off" to ask this question about a picture of someone you obviously admire enough to display prominently. If her English is fine, she's a nasty piece of work. I would look for a replacement because I get nervous around obnoxious people.

Sleepymama

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 3:33 pm

I think it was slang. It's like saying "who's that lit dude with the sick hat and the funky beard?" She didn't realize she was being irreverent. Just trying to be friendly and ask a question in an edgy way.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 3:34 pm

Cleaning ladies are hard to find. My neighbor's cleaning lady breaks things and cleans very poorly, and often shows up at the wrong time, but she won't fire her because she won't be able to find anyone else.

amother

Navy

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 3:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If you don't want her back as your cleaning lady - so tell her you don't want her back.

You're not an 'employer' you don't need to worry about being sued for unlawful dismissal.

She doesn't sound so bright to be asking a cavalier question about someone who is clearly near and dear to you... but is intellect a quality you are looking for in a cleaning lady?

little neshamala

Thu, Jun 13 2019, 3:52 pm

Rachel Shira wrote:

A lot of my coworkers speak like that regularly. It shocked me when I first started working with them, but then I got used to it. They come from pretty low class neighborhods, and they frequently use very dirty language in their regular, friendly type of talk.