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Does dd teen 15yo has lock on her door
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amother




OP


Post  Thu, Jun 13 2019, 10:16 pm
ra_mom wrote:
I'm more concerned about the teen having a computer in their room than having a lock on her bedroom door.
Best thing to do is place the computer in an open family room.
If that's not possible then a lock is not a good idea. But you need to be able to give the teen privacy. So really the computer should be moved and the bedroom door lock should remain, with a key available to parents for emergencies.

You are right we have a laptop. I need to get a desktop for the living room. And hey a lock for her
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amother




OP


Post  Thu, Jun 13 2019, 10:17 pm
paperflowers wrote:
Privacy is important. The hook and eye lock on my bedroom door fell off at some point, so as a teenager I had my family very well trained that they could NEVER open my door (even if it was partially ajar).

We al says knock but she still wants a lock
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amother




OP


Post  Thu, Jun 13 2019, 10:17 pm
chanatron1000 wrote:
A lock is an absolute necessity for a teenager. Teens do all kinds of things that require privacy and are not wrong in any way, like dancing silly dances and making faces in the mirror.

I love your post. You are right
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amother




Mauve


Post  Thu, Jun 13 2019, 10:42 pm
Amother orange, if you're afraid you won't be able to get to your kids in case of a fire, do as I do. I don't allow bedroom doors to be locked through the night for safety reasons. I don't keep my bedroom door closed either, I have to hear what's going on in the house. That means from when I go to bed. Bh my kids never gave me an issue with this.
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mfb




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Jun 13 2019, 10:53 pm
My kids have locks but never lock the doors at night. We have the bedroom knobs that have the same key/pin for all rooms. It’s enough that no one barges in on another but a parent can get in in an instant
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tichellady




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Jun 13 2019, 10:57 pm
I didn’t grow up with locks and it didn’t bother me at all. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for your family.
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amother




Linen


Post  Thu, Jun 13 2019, 10:58 pm
I did not have, but wanted one. Privacy was respected in my home, although none of the interior doors locked (very old house, settled so nothing quite matched up). Even so, I wanted the symbolic privacy and independence of a door lock.

My teen has one. All the bedrooms and bathrooms in my house have doors that lock from the inside, and can be unlocked easily from the outside with a pin in case of emergency. So far, I have no reason to think she abuses her privacy.
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amother




Mint


Post  Thu, Jun 13 2019, 11:24 pm
chanatron1000 wrote:
A lock is an absolute necessity for a teenager. Teens do all kinds of things that require privacy and are not wrong in any way, like dancing silly dances and making faces in the mirror.


Why in the world would you require a lock to dance silly dances and make faces in the mirror????
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amother




Mauve


Post  Thu, Jun 13 2019, 11:42 pm
Amother mint, it doesn't "require" a lock, but kids like to act silly in private sometimes, it's a way of giving off steam. I used to do it all the time, I made up plays, sang songs, did silly dances.... it's normal. And you as a parent need to trust your kids and respect their privacy. You don't have to know what they do every second of the day.
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amother




Mint


Post  Thu, Jun 13 2019, 11:47 pm
I'm also confused as to why people would barge in without knocking just because a door is not locked and open a tefach?
Is it just me? We respect each other's space and have manners.

FYI, just for those of you who think I don't trust my kids and that you are better than I am, I do trust them but I also don't have my head in the sand. Vaping /drugs/alcohol is more rampant than you want to believe-see the other thread. In fact read all the other threads. Phone/Cyber bullying is something parents of both aggressors and victims should be aware of. Girls or boys "experimenting" with friends of the same gender or worse yet abuse. We read about husbands problems with p@rn- you think that only starts after marriage?

We have locks on doors, but there is a time and a place (I.e. getting dressed). If a door is closed I discreetly check if it is locked. If it isn't, I usually let it go for a while. If it is, I knock and ask if everything is ok.
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amother




Mauve


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 12:00 am
Amother mint, all the facts you're stating about drugs; abuse, kids of opposite gender experimenting..... shows that you do not trust your kids! And that you are controlling and need to know what they do all the the time! It shows that you have low expectations of them. Why do you even think your kids would do these things locked in their rooms??? Cyber bullying and [filth] happen wether the doors are locked or not. It wouldn't even cross my mind & my head is not in the sand. These examples are outright ridiculous. I shall hope you let your kids use the bathroom with a locked door.
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amother




Mint


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 12:19 am
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
Amother mint, all the facts you're stating about drugs; abuse, kids of opposite gender experimenting..... shows that you do not trust your kids! And that you are controlling and need to know what they do all the the time! It shows that you have low expectations of them. Why do you even think your kids would do these things locked in their rooms??? Cyber bullying and [filth] happen wether the doors are locked or not. It wouldn't even cross my mind & my head is not in the sand. These examples are outright ridiculous. I shall hope you let your kids use the bathroom with a locked door.


You protest/accuse way too much. I am intrigued. The most alarming part of your response is where you are trying to take a dig at me regarding the bathroom. I said my doors do have locks, but you would rather attack than read and process information. I wonder how old your kids are or your experiences. My examples come from other threads. Do I really need to reference them. Use the search box and type vape. My children do not live in an police state, but rather these are precedents which were placed from the get-go. It actually fosters an open relationship. It is how I was raised and I have a wonderful relationship with my parents and sister (only have the one) and I am a functional adult who loves and appreciates her inlaws as well.
(I am not saying that others don't and that if you didn't you don't-I am so glad that we all have wonderful relationships...)
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amother




Mint


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 12:22 am
Btw-mauve, I'm checking out. Going to bed and not wasting my time here tomorrow.
The question was asked, I gave my opinion, and I have ceased to care. Do what you want.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 4:47 am
If there are younger siblings in the house, your DD for sure needs a lock. Curious minds will want to explore the older kids' rooms, and possibly make a huge mess, or "borrow" something.

I don't care how respectful you teach them to be. When kids are little, curiosity wins every time.
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 4:49 am
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
I was bashed on this site for having an open door policy in my home. We do have locks on the doors, but we keep the doors slightly ajar when not changing, and one knocks/announce their presence before going in.

To me, a child locking their door is a red flag.
If they are doing homework, reading, on the computer or phone, flat ironing hair, polishing nails..... none of these things need a locked door. If the door is locked I would be concerned that they were doing something that would not be ok if they were caught.


What if they are m@sturbating? Healthy teens explore their bodies. Nobody wants to have their parents (or anybody else) walking in when they are doing that.
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amother




Sapphire


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 6:49 am
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
I was bashed on this site for having an open door policy in my home. We do have locks on the doors, but we keep the doors slightly ajar when not changing, and one knocks/announce their presence before going in.

To me, a child locking their door is a red flag.
If they are doing homework, reading, on the computer or phone, flat ironing hair, polishing nails..... none of these things need a locked door. If the door is locked I would be concerned that they were doing something that would not be ok if they were caught.


I was also bashed here years ago for not having a lock on my bedroom door. The posters are paranoid. They told me I was guaranteed my kids would walk in on me. Never. Once. Happened. My youngest is 18.

There are households where people are civil and respect each other. We knock before entering in any event. Sounds like your household is a nice one.

My kids have locks on their doors and don't lock them as there is no need. I never forbade them from locking their doors. If they are changing, they close the door. Since no one ever barges in, there isn't a need to lock anyone out.
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amother




Sapphire


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 6:52 am
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
What if they are m@sturbating? Healthy teens explore their bodies. Nobody wants to have their parents (or anybody else) walking in when they are doing that.


This is sick. Healthy teens should not be pleasuring themselves during the day. Boys should not be pleasuring themselves at all.

Your kids should be doing other healthy activities. You are going to end up with p○rn addicted adults.
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 7:14 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
This is sick. Healthy teens should not be pleasuring themselves during the day. Boys should not be pleasuring themselves at all.

Your kids should be doing other healthy activities. You are going to end up with p○rn addicted adults.


It is not sick at all to m@sturbate. As a woman it means that you know how to get pleasure when you are married vs all the poor women who write on here because they don’t know how to have an org@sm. I worked out very young how to have one on my own and I am not a p@rn addicted adult thank you very much!

But self-pleasuring aside, I agree that kids need locks for silly things even making faces and dancing as another poster said. We actually need to get new locks as our current doors don’t have them. I have a wide variety of ages and our toddler definitely currently has too much freedom to barge into his older siblings’ rooms.
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 7:53 am
I completely disagree. Kids need their space respected. There can be a lock on the outside to prevent little ones getting in. But there should be no lock on the inside. If there's a fire, you should be able to open every door
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 7:53 am
I can't think of a single thing that I did as a teenager that would have required me to lock myself in my room. I got dressed in the bathroom anyway.
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