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Does dd teen 15yo has lock on her door
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amother




Mauve


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 7:54 am
Oh my amother sapphire, you are so sweetly innocent. You really think that teens and boys don't m*sterbate?? It's not sick, it's normal. It's sick if a parent keeps track of what their teens are doing behind closed doors. Parents just don't need to know about it, hence why kids need privacy. M*asterbating doesn't automatically mean p*rn.
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 7:57 am
ectomorph wrote:
I completely disagree. Kids need their space respected. There can be a lock on the outside to prevent little ones getting in. But there should be no lock on the inside. If there's a fire, you should be able to open every door


The locks we have can be opened from the outside too, it’s the only type we have and DH and I have the keys.
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amother




Chocolate


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 8:02 am
In our house, it never occurred to us to have one. We don't even have one for the bathroom. It came with a keyhole without a key and besides I don't think it can turn. We never put a lock on it and guess what? No one walks in without knocking if the door is closed. It does have a frosted window on top of the door, so we can see if the light is on. This is not America.

On the other hand, if this is what your dd wants, why not give it to her? What are your issues for maybe saying no?
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amother




Sapphire


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 8:03 am
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
It is not sick at all to m@sturbate. As a woman it means that you know how to get pleasure when you are married vs all the poor women who write on here because they don’t know how to have an org@sm. I worked out very young how to have one on my own and I am not a p@rn addicted adult thank you very much!

But self-pleasuring aside, I agree that kids need locks for silly things even making faces and dancing as another poster said. We actually need to get new locks as our current doors don’t have them. I have a wide variety of ages and our toddler definitely currently has too much freedom to barge into his older siblings’ rooms.


It's not healthy to m@sturbate during the day. Why can't your teens work out how to pleasure themselves at night under the covers?
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 8:04 am
amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:
In our house, it never occurred to us to have one. We don't even have one for the bathroom. It came with a keyhole without a key and besides I don't think it can turn. We never put a lock on it and guess what? No one walks in without knocking if the door is closed. It does have a frosted window on top of the door, so we can see if the light is on. This is not America.


I don’t live in America either but see value in teens having privacy from rambunctious toddlers, other siblings and parents. I don’t see what geographical location has to do with bedroom privacy. 🤷🏻‍♀️
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amother




Chocolate


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 8:13 am
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
I don’t live in America either but see value in teens having privacy from rambunctious toddlers, other siblings and parents. I don’t see what geographical location has to do with bedroom privacy. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've had teens and toddlers and never had problems like that either. The America part was because of the strange description of our bathroom door. I've never seen that in America. That part had nothing to do with privacy.
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nicole81




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 8:21 am
Our doors didn't come with locks when I bought the house, and no one ever asked me to add one. I have toddlers through teens, and no one ever barges in on each other. Even when doors are wide open, we ask permission to come in. To me, that's just having good manners. My teens keep their doors closed most of the time, but they know they're safe from intrusion. If one of them suddenly started asking for a lock, I wouldn't be totally against it, but I'd first set some ground rules, like no using electronics behind a locked door and no locking after bedtime.
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amother




Mauve


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 8:24 am
Amother sapphire, teens don't generally discuss with their parents when and how they should m*sterbate.... it's none of our business.
(Unless the child has an issue & it's excessive).
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 9:10 am
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
The locks we have can be opened from the outside too, it’s the only type we have and DH and I have the keys.

Still too dangerous. In a fire, the electricity won't be working and it takes time to pick a lock in the dark.
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amother




Gold


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 9:16 am
My father used to walk in to our bedrooms all the time without knocking and he would go through our drawers, look under our mattresses, in our briefcases, etc so we had zero privacy growing up. He would sneak around all the time and would try to be as quiet as possible so we wouldn't hear him. I hated having zero privacy growing up and my family still has a lot of issues with lacking proper boundaries because of it.
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amother




Gray


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 9:21 am
Parents have locks, kids don't.
If a door is closed, you must knock and wait for permission to come in.
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Chayalle




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 9:29 am
My kids' rooms have locks on them but they seldom use them, if ever. I think this is because I respect their closed doors. I would not walk in on my child - I knock and ask if I can come in if I want to speak to them. So they have no need to lock it.
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imasoftov




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 9:47 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
It's not healthy to m@sturbate during the day.

?
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amother




Mauve


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 9:52 am
I'm realizing that in some houses, locks on doors are just not a thing and this is how you're used to living and the kids are OK with it. But I take issue that if a child asks for a lock on their doors and the parents refuse because they don't trust their kids and they need to know exactly what their kids are doing in private. Or the house rule is "no locks on doors" even if the teens request it. That's controlling behavior.
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amother




Sapphire


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 10:00 am
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
Oh my amother sapphire, you are so sweetly innocent. You really think that teens and boys don't m*sterbate?? It's not sick, it's normal. It's sick if a parent keeps track of what their teens are doing behind closed doors. Parents just don't need to know about it, hence why kids need privacy. M*asterbating doesn't automatically mean p*rn.


If they do, that's between themselves and Hashem. But they don't need me to provide an er○tic daytime m@sterbation session space. That's not a reason to give them locks.

About the only reason to give teens locks, I heard on this thead, is because the toddlers aren't trained to respect privacy yet. If these toddlers are like mine were, they will bang on the door until admitted anyway.
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amother




Mauve


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 10:03 am
Oh sapphire, by putting locks on your teens doors you're not providing them a space to m*sterbate, oh god! I can't believe a parent would even think like this about their kids, you have a dirty mind. Most teens have better things to do with their day. The reason you should put in a lock is because they ask for it & they want their privacy.
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amother




Ivory


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 10:36 am
I am an older mother with a tremendous amount of experience. Looking back, while still moving forward, I think about the things I would have done differently. One of the things I regret, is not establishing an "open door policy", delineating explicit rules about when the privilege of a closed -not locked- door may be permitted. Besides that NOT ALL KIDS can or should be trusted, closed doors significantly reduce communication between teens and their parents/families. And,from experience, an insistence on door locking, can definitely be a red flag.
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 10:43 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
It's not healthy to m@sturbate during the day. Why can't your teens work out how to pleasure themselves at night under the covers?


Why were we even talking about during the day? During the day, the kids are at school? 🤔

I wasn’t talking about my teens specifically but about DCs in general. As far as I am concerned, people can work out how to pleasure themselves how and when they like in private. As long as homework gets done. 🤣
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 10:46 am
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
I am an older mother with a tremendous amount of experience. Looking back, while still moving forward, I think about the things I would have done differently. One of the things I regret, is not establishing an "open door policy", delineating explicit rules about when the privilege of a closed -not locked- door may be permitted. Besides that NOT ALL KIDS can or should be trusted, closed doors significantly reduce communication between teens and their parents/families. And,from experience, an insistence on door locking, can definitely be a red flag.


I agree that not all kids can be trusted with a lock but if a parent thinks they can, then I think it should be permitted with the caveat that parents can unlock the door at any time they are worried. We should all be mindful of the potential issue of possible suicide, chas v’shalom, far more than self-pleasuring.

I am curious, I’m an “older” mother too. What do you consider to be older if you don’t mind me asking?
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Fri, Jun 14 2019, 10:49 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
If they do, that's between themselves and Hashem. But they don't need me to provide an er○tic daytime m@sterbation session space. That's not a reason to give them locks.

About the only reason to give teens locks, I heard on this thead, is because the toddlers aren't trained to respect privacy yet. If these toddlers are like mine were, they will bang on the door until admitted anyway.


Who said anything about an “er○tic daytime m@sturbation session” here!? Good grief, get a grip! Why aren’t your DCs at school? And in vacation time, I would expect them to have better things to do outside the house. And yes the reason I said we need locks in my house is because I don’t want my toddler to keep bugging my teens, irrespective of what innocuous (or private) things my teens may be doing in their rooms!
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