 |
|
|
ra_mom


|
Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:28 pm
How long have you been there? Did you purchase or are you renting in the development?
| |
|
Back to top |
0
4
|
Chayalle


|
Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:39 pm
Would it work out better for you to move to a neighborhood where kids in your kids' school live? Do you have friends who moved here, and would living near them help?
It sounds like you don't drive. I think living in Lakewood without driving must be very tough. It's not Brooklyn where there's easy public transportation to get around, and even easy transportation to visit family. (When my kids were little, whenever I had a day off on a legal holiday, I used to hop into NY to get together with my sister and her kids...I also started off in a development where I found friends for both myself and my kids.)
| |
|
Back to top |
0
14
|
watergirl


|
Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:56 pm
Why not start off by learning how to drive and getting a car? Then if you are still very unhappy, look at other neighborhoods. My husband and I have moved a LOT from city to city and I know it isnt easy, and the main thing to remember is that it takes TIME to make new friends and find your place in a new city! It took me a good few years before finding "my people" where I live now. We waited to buy a house until we knew this is where we wanted to stay. It just takes time. Start with learning to drive to become more independent.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
10
|
stillnewlywed


|
Tue, Jun 18 2019, 1:00 pm
Me and dh are also real Brooklyners with no family here. Once we have kids I know we will be upset that they don't see their grandparents/aunts and uncles. And we will definitely be losing out any help we would be able to get from my parents and in-laws.
I also hate Lakewood, the whole mentality, the politics, especially that fact that you can't just go out and walk to a store and have to drive everywhere. We have 2 cars but still annoying if you grew up in Brooklyn.
Technically I would love to move back to Brooklyn but it's so unaffordable! We pay pennies in rent here and are saving to buy a small house. All that would go down the drain...
Maybe moving out of town is a better option? I'm wondering this myself.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
8
|
mha3484


|
Tue, Jun 18 2019, 1:00 pm
We bought a house after renting for many many years and I think my kids would have a really hard time re adjusting to apartment living again. The back yard and more space have just been amazing for them. If you are renting maybe you would like a different neighborhood better? Are you stuck where you are now?
| |
|
Back to top |
0
3
|
stillnewlywed


|
Tue, Jun 18 2019, 1:01 pm
Developments are terrible. You will probably be much happier if you move onto a quiet street, whether you are renting a basement or own a house.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
12
|
mommyla


|
Tue, Jun 18 2019, 1:14 pm
stillnewlywed wrote: | Developments are terrible. You will probably be much happier if you move onto a quiet street, whether you are renting a basement or own a house. |
Yes, this. Get out of the development, your quality of life will improve dramatically! Though I can't fathom not driving in Lakewood. I didn't grow up in NY so it's no big deal for me to have to drive places, but you really do have to drive to live here.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
4
|
1ofbillions


|
Tue, Jun 18 2019, 1:25 pm
You really need to get over whatever fear is stopping you from driving. I’m sorry if that’s invalidating, but it’s just reality.
I can’t imagine being happy living in Lakewood without driving. Like, I don’t know if that’s possible.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
15
|
Chayalle


|
Tue, Jun 18 2019, 1:25 pm
I grew up in the suburbs so this may be a mentality/culture difference. I can't imagine living in Brooklyn - it's too noisy, congested, and just plain overwhelming for every day life. I guess being used to the fact that you have to get into a car to get to the supermarket probably helped me adjust to Lakewood living. The benefits of space and a backyard, to me, far outweigh the lack of a (overcrowded and overwhelming) grocery on the corner. In fact, I'd rather drive a bit further and shop in a spacious supermarket.
Wow. I see that people are different than me, and how much your upbringing contributes to that. Makes sense. I don't even have the mindset of driving somewhere being annoying because that's my normal, and always has been.
OP, what about driving is so scary to you? (I openly admit being terrified when my DD's learned to drive, but never had that fear for myself. I'm sure my girls do not appreciate this particular fear of mine.) Is this something you can overcome? I really think quality Lakewood living goes along with driving. That's the suburbs for you - I can't imagine surviving here without driving. Every high school senior/graduate learns to drive, sooner or later - it's part of the lifestyle here.
| |
|
Back to top |
1
5
|
mig100


|
Thu, Jun 20 2019, 1:39 am
Chayalle wrote: | I grew up in the suburbs so this may be a mentality/culture difference. I can't imagine living in Brooklyn - it's too noisy, congested, and just plain overwhelming for every day life. I guess being used to the fact that you have to get into a car to get to the supermarket probably helped me adjust to Lakewood living. The benefits of space and a backyard, to me, far outweigh the lack of a (overcrowded and overwhelming) grocery on the corner. In fact, I'd rather drive a bit further and shop in a spacious supermarket.
Wow. I see that people are different than me, and how much your upbringing contributes to that. Makes sense. I don't even have the mindset of driving somewhere being annoying because that's my normal, and always has been.
OP, what about driving is so scary to you? (I openly admit being terrified when my DD's learned to drive, but never had that fear for myself. I'm sure my girls do not appreciate this particular fear of mine.) Is this something you can overcome? I really think quality Lakewood living goes along with driving. That's the suburbs for you - I can't imagine surviving here without driving. Every high school senior/graduate learns to drive, sooner or later - it's part of the lifestyle here. |
Yes people r different and a lot just has to do.with where u grew up.
I feel exactly the opposite about having to drive to get places.
Following
| |
|
Back to top |
0
1
|
momtobe


|
Thu, Jun 20 2019, 1:33 pm
mommyla wrote: | Yes, this. Get out of the development, your quality of life will improve dramatically! Though I can't fathom not driving in Lakewood. I didn't grow up in NY so it's no big deal for me to have to drive places, but you really do have to drive to live here. |
What’s wrong with development’s ?
| |
|
Back to top |
0
0
|
boat


|
Thu, Jun 20 2019, 5:01 pm
mommyla wrote: | Yes, this. Get out of the development, your quality of life will improve dramatically! Though I can't fathom not driving in Lakewood. I didn't grow up in NY so it's no big deal for me to have to drive places, but you really do have to drive to live here. |
I would imagine that if she's used to apartment living and looking for more friends, leaving development life is not necessarily what will help her.
OP: keep in mind that if you do move back, you'll have to find new friends again.
I honestly do feel sorry for you. Lakewood is NOT boro park. You can spread the word to any of your friends and family that have not yet flocked here.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
1
|
amother


Purple
|
Thu, Jun 20 2019, 5:51 pm
I also moved from Brooklyn to Lakewood and I love it now. The reason I love it so much is mainly because I live in a development. When I first moved I was miserable because I’m pretty shy and it was so hard for me to make friends. But, once I forced myself to schmooze with the neighbors, visit them on Friday nights, etc etc, I slowly but surely formed a friendship with them unlike my Brooklyn neighbors. We’re like family now.
My advice to you would be, think of why you moved in the first place. Every change has its challenges but in the end it might be worth it. You think moving back will solve all your problems? Why’d you move in the first place?
I feel like because we’re all here without family, the relationship that you eventually develop with your neighbors/friends is much stronger than it would’ve been elsewhere. Hang in there, do whatever it takes to form a friendship, it’ll be so worth it!
| |
|
Back to top |
0
3
|
|
Imamother is a community of frum Jewish women, where you can come to relax,
socialize, debate, receive support, ask questions and much more.
© 2021 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |