How do I find a mentor in my Judaism

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MountainRose

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:16 pm

I'm an FFB in my 30s and I've been struggling spiritually for several years now (since I became a mother). I have lots of questions - not shailas - about yiddishkeit and my relationship with Hashem, but I'm active in my kehilla, involved in lots of committees etc, and I'm embarrassed to ask the Rabbi such fundamental questions which I probably should have sorted ages ago, especially before doing so much on behalf of the kehilla.
But the questions won't go away. Recommended books seem too trite, or like they miss the point. You always hear stories about great rebbeim or rebbeim who help people through crises of faith. Where do I find someone to help me? Not to be a chavrusa or learn derech Hashem, definitely not to tecah me halacha, but just someone to answer my spiritual questions, like a kodesh teacher would have if I'd have been smart enough to ask these questions when I was a teenager.
Any suggestions?

singleagain

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:17 pm

Is there anyone who you admire and think. That's the kind of person I want to be. If yes, cultivate a relationship with that person.

MountainRose

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:26 pm

singleagain wrote:

Is there anyone who you admire and think. That's the kind of person I want to be. If yes, cultivate a relationship with that person.

I'd rather ask a stranger. I'm trying to keep up appearances in my kehilla 😂
I'm worried that if people know I don't really daven they might not eat at my house anymore, or treat me differently.

holylandgirl

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:27 pm

Do you want a mentor or someone to answer generic questions?
For the latter there are Rabbis who have public email addresses and are happy to answer question's.

holylandgirl

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:28 pm

I see I cross-posted with you. Do you mean basic emunah type questions?
Are you more intellectual or emotional?

MountainRose

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:29 pm

holylandgirl wrote:

Do you want a mentor or someone to answer generic questions?
For the latter there are Rabbis who have public email addresses and are happy to answer question's.

I want someone to ask lots and lots of questions - not just one like would fit in an email. So I guess a mentor?

MountainRose

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:31 pm

holylandgirl wrote:

I see I cross-posted with you. Do you mean basic emunah type questions?
Are you more intellectual or emotional?

Both. I have questions about Hashem's infinite attention span, but in term of how it relates to my relationship with Him

amother

Sapphire

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:31 pm

MountainRose wrote:

I'd rather ask a stranger. I'm trying to keep up appearances in my kehilla 😂
I'm worried that if people know I don't really daven they might not eat at my house anymore, or treat me differently.

You can call a rabbi you don’t know, anonymously, and ask him all your questions. Like Reb Dovid Cohen.

holylandgirl

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:33 pm

Oh I see. I'm not sure if I have the right address for you. I was going to recommend someone like rabbi Gottlieb.
Good for you that you're looking for answers- you'll feel great with a clear mind.
Hatzlachah

MountainRose

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:34 pm

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

You can call a rabbi you don’t know, anonymously, and ask him all your questions. Like Reb Dovid Cohen.

😀 How many Reb Dovid Cohen's there?
How do I find one who is willing to answer questions like that? I've approached rabbis in the past and they seem overwhelmed by the depth of questions

holylandgirl

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:35 pm

I think Rabbi Gottlieb is the right address for the question you mentioned.
You can PM me if you want

MountainRose

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:39 pm

Are there so few people out there who offer spiritual guidance?

thunderstorm

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:45 pm

MountainRose wrote:

Are there so few people out there who offer spiritual guidance?

Have you ever reached out to Rabbi YY Jacobson?

simba

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:47 pm

Do you want a Rabbi to email converse with or a female who is deep and insightful?

MountainRose

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:49 pm

simba wrote:

Do you want a Rabbi to email converse with or a female who is deep and insightful?

Either, but someone I can talk to live would be best.

oneofakind

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:50 pm

I was thinking of Reb. Tzipora Heller in Israel.

amother

Mauve

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:54 pm

You might not like where this takes you. You have to be prepared for that possibility. If you’re a very logical, truth-seeking person, you may find the truth where you didn’t think it was. Or you may find there’s no absolute truth at all, not one that can be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt.
As a fellow agnostic friend expressed: its like trying to squeeze toothpaste back into the bottle.

amother

Aqua

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:56 pm

While I encourage you to ask, don't set the bar to high with regard to finding real, understandable answers that make sense to you. Especially questions that start with "why does hashem"....? Unfortunately, there are very few answers to these questions.

A wise man once said, "Lord, grant me the company of those who seek truth….But spare me the company of those who found it!"

amother

Seashell

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:56 pm

I'm also ffb, high 30s, and I always wanted to understand things. I read a lot, learned from wise people, and b"H I feel comfortable answering many types of questions that often stump other people. But I'm not a rebbetzin or anything of that sort.
Let me know if I fit the bill, and if yes, I'll be happy to pm you.

amother

Slategray

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 12:58 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

Have you ever reached out to Rabbi YY Jacobson?

Another vote for him. He deals with emuna & hashkafa questions all the time.

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