Men behaving inappropriately!

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Forum -> Working Women

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amother

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 2:55 pm

I’m literally walking around in a cloud and feel like letting some steam off here will do good as well as get some seriously needed advice. I’ve been working at my job for close to a decade and have been very closely working on a project for a few weeks now with one of higher authorities and on a very well paid position guy in our place. Woman and men are officially separate and there are very strict boundaries. Last few times we were in deep discussion he behaved perverted in more than one way. I didn’t give him attention for it. He knows I’m married and settled and too professional. He started texting me which is officially overstepping boundaries and isn’t allowed ever. I replied that he should email any important information and I’ll reply! This morning he visited a location where only men attended and I knew my opinion will be necessary and was waiting for a call. So this guy calls me video call and I didn’t have slightest doubt that it’s not work related and I picked up and there he is.... I can’t even say it! Waist down stripped!!! I’m numb! I can’t even tell my husband now! he has been through so many emotional issues that I can’t have him deal with this now. There’s really nobody on top of him that I can report him too! I’m so disturbed and I think I can’t get to myself! How do I go abt this?!

amother

Amber

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 2:58 pm

Report don’t erase the evidence

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 2:59 pm

Can you report him to authorities or at least threaten to? This behavior is unacceptable and disgusting!! Hugs!!!!!

amother

Mauve

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 3:00 pm

Report to police

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 3:02 pm

Ignore him. Don't give him the satisfaction of even the slightest reaction.

Once you acknowledge it, he'll feel encouraged to do it again. Treat him like a naughty toddler who is acting out to get your attention.

If it happens again, try to grab a screen shot. You never know when you might need a little ammunition.

simcha2

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 3:03 pm

Record everything. Screen shot if it's a video call and you can't record.

Let him know that you are passing it on, either to hr or to the police (or his wife). If you feel like being nice, tell him, that it ever occurs again you will forward it to his wife.

amother

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 3:05 pm

Ive threatened him and there’s a bigger chance that I’ll lose my job more than he will! I can’t afford that. My family needs this sustenance! I’m so traumatized. 😫😫

singleagain

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 3:06 pm

If you have Android. Downland this app and be ready to use it next time he vid calls... It will record what happens in your screen do you have proof

https://play.google.com/store/......free

You can look for similar for iPhone.

gibberish

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 3:06 pm

Report to HR

amother

Mauve

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 3:06 pm

amother [ Mauve ] wrote:

Report to police

I want to elaborate: This is disgusting, lewd, inappropriate behavior. He does not deserve a second chance. You do not know what he is capable of doing. He is a sick man. Report to police.

simcha2

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 3:09 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ive threatened him and there’s a bigger chance that I’ll lose my job more than he will! I can’t afford that. My family needs this sustenance! I’m so traumatized. 😫😫

If you are working for a company that would rather protect a s-xual harasser than someone being s-xually harassed, then you should find another job. From your description it's a "frum" company, but if that is their values, they are not frum and you shouldn't put up with it.

thunderstorm

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 3:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ive threatened him and there’s a bigger chance that I’ll lose my job more than he will! I can’t afford that. My family needs this sustenance! I’m so traumatized. 😫😫

I want to just offer a hug because I can only imagine how you must feel so icky and stuck at the same time. I hope you can figure this out. I have no advice. I would feel like this is s-xual harassment in the work place and would report it to authorities. This can help protect you if they try firing you. You can have a police report proving the harassment.

amother

Teal

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 3:20 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ive threatened him and there’s a bigger chance that I’ll lose my job more than he will! I can’t afford that. My family needs this sustenance! I’m so traumatized. 😫😫

I have no advice and dont know what to do. But, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE IN A JOB WHERE THE VICTIM IS THE ONE WHO WILL LOSE THE JOB!!!

I agree with others to document wat he does and take screenshot and keep texts. Keep a detailed log of everything to protect yourself in case he tries to turn this around and accuse you.

But, you are correct that no matter what others say, hell most likely twist this around to accuse you of something(if u report it) and the company will fire you and protect him(I mean he does hav a high position and the "higher ups " are protecting him For some reason.

Its a horrible situation to be in, that you feel abused/harassed like this but need this job to pay your basic bills. I feel your pain and can relate.(pls note I'm not telling you not to report him as its your decision, but I'm saying I agree with you that even police (and certainly the male company head/owner) are corrupt and may believe him over you if he accuses you to try to save himself.

allthingsblue

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 3:38 pm

Sending you hugs and hoping you'll get clarity and strength.

amother

Azure

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 4:04 pm

It's se**ual harraseement. It's illegal. And if you lose your job you can sue the company. There are no legal excuses. Just make sure you document and save everything.

roses

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 4:08 pm

I suggest you consult with an employment attorney ASAP

marina

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 4:11 pm

https://www.eeoc.gov/employees/howtofile.cfm

That link will help you file a federal harassment charge.

https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/type.....t.cfm

amother

Khaki

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 4:57 pm

I would set up to capture it next time. I know its yucky but if you don't confront or acknowledge he will likely do it again. With proof you will make your life way easier and less stressful.

krembo

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 5:23 pm

What kind of protocol is in place at your company for reporting issues like this? I know you said there’s no one to report him to, but if your company has strict rules in place to prevent inappropriate male-female interactions, it must be important to the owners.

Last edited by krembo on Wed, Jun 19 2019, 5:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

ra_mom

Wed, Jun 19 2019, 5:23 pm

You must report to HR so that if you lose your job it's all documented and then you can sue them for wrongful termination.

If you do not have an HR director then call an attorney to find out the best way to deal with this.

But deal with this you must if you want to protect yourself from harassment and to protect your job.

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