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Watch strangers’ sleeping kids?
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 4:18 pm
I'm trying to figure out why anyone would want a complete stranger watching their kids.

I'm not big on the whole stranger-hosting thing, but I get it, especially if its in a separate area. But just say no to babysitting.

One person could go to the night festivities. Or they could switch off. Or, assuming there's an eruv, they could load the tykes in a stroller and let them sleep at the shul. Or they could ask for recommendations for sitters.

OP, just tell them that you're happy to host, but unable to watch their children.
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imorethanamother




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 4:38 pm
I would do it, but set limits.

I like what that other poster said - say you're going to bed at 10, and you're not checking on her children. Say that they must not leave until the children are actually asleep, and that they should bring you into the room to show you that they're asleep.

And then sure!
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amother




Azure


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 4:57 pm
imorethanamother wrote:
I would do it, but set limits.

I like what that other poster said - say you're going to bed at 10, and you're not checking on her children. Say that they must not leave until the children are actually asleep, and that they should bring you into the room to show you that they're asleep.

And then sure!


And what happens if a child wakes up screaming? Can you really ignore a wailing child for an hour? I had this once as a teen babysitting for a stranger on Friday night. The kid woke up and just shrieked and shrieked. There was nothing I can do to calm down this toddler. It was Shabbos night, & the mother had promised to be back by 11:30. She showed up at 1. I was furious and that poor toddler was still in tears.

OP, something to consider with babysitting Friday nights in the summer is the late hour of the day. Any simcha will finish well after midnight. Are you ok with staying up so late, or being on call for a possible crying child?

If its something you feel you can do for someone else, then that family will be greatly appreciative. If not, tell her to bring along a babysitter.
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keym




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 5:10 pm
I would give the person a list of teenage girls in the area. She should hire one of them at your house.
Especially in the summer, my daughter has done this. We'll make early shabbos, and at the end of our meal, she'll go to a neighbor to watch kids who are staying there while the parents go to a simcha.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 5:10 pm
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
And what happens if a child wakes up screaming? Can you really ignore a wailing child for an hour? I had this once as a teen babysitting for a stranger on Friday night. The kid woke up and just shrieked and shrieked. There was nothing I can do to calm down this toddler. It was Shabbos night, & the mother had promised to be back by 11:30. She showed up at 1. I was furious and that poor toddler was still in tears.

OP, something to consider with babysitting Friday nights in the summer is the late hour of the day. Any simcha will finish well after midnight. Are you ok with staying up so late, or being on call for a possible crying child?

If its something you feel you can do for someone else, then that family will be greatly appreciative. If not, tell her to bring along a babysitter.


Not to mention if one of the children is actually hurt or in distress.

If you're not going to check on the kids or go to them if they wake up crying, then you're not watching them; you're suggesting that the parents go out and leave their kids alone.
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amother




Salmon


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 5:12 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
The woman asking is nervy. There is no way I would do it.


The woman asking is nervy - or has plenty of chutzpah. She should have phrased it like "I know this is a big ask but....."

anyway - I'd do it.
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Seashell




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 5:18 pm
keym wrote:
I would give the person a list of teenage girls in the area. She should hire one of them at your house.
Especially in the summer, my daughter has done this. We'll make early shabbos, and at the end of our meal, she'll go to a neighbor to watch kids who are staying there while the parents go to a simcha.


I would do this. Only question is if OP’s hashkafa would allow a teen girl to babysit with a 15 yr old boy in the house? Maybe an older girl 18+ is ok?

Or OP if your 15 yr old son is responsible enough, good with kids, & interested in doing it, you can say your son is available to babysit, he charge $10/hr (or going rate by you).

I would not put it on myself or husband, due to all the reasons mentioned above.
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ChutzPAh




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 5:48 pm
4 or 5 Kids? No way. I guess a lot of you are nicer than me.
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tichellady




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 5:55 pm
Anyone who would ask a stranger this is someone I don’t want to do a favor for ( If that makes any sense)
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amother




Aquamarine


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 6:27 pm
The kids would be in the basement- you couldn't go upstairs to bed or even to read, because you wouldn't hear them. A kid could have a real problem and you wouldn't know. And even if they're just scared, they didn't make this decision- why should they pay for it?

As a poster said above, even with a given deadline, there's nothing to guarantee mom will actually be back then.

I might do the babysitter thing, but do not let mom leave until the babysitter has arrived, even if she's running late. She may not show up, or it turns out she canceled, and then you are stuck. But I likely wouldn't do it a solid 15 minute walk away.
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amother




Olive


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 6:40 pm
amother [ Salmon ] wrote:
The woman asking is nervy - or has plenty of chutzpah. She should have phrased it like "I know this is a big ask but....."

anyway - I'd do it.


I don't think how she phrased it is the problem. Unless there was some serious extenuating circumstances, I could not ask a stranger to watch another stranger's family. Just housing that many people is a big imposition.
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amother




Chocolate


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 6:41 pm
I'm so surprised at the amount of negative responses! The world stands on 3 things, gemilus chassadim is the first one!
She can ask and you're allowed to respond you can't if it won't work for you but why not do a chessed if you can?
My kids are the type to always wake up but my downstairs neighbor, who leaves me a monitor to listen to her children once in a while, has children that almost never wake up once asleep!!!
I like the idea of asking them to come check on the kids in the middle so you're not stuck with them if they do wake up!
And by all means, tell them "we go to sleep at 11.30 so please be back then!"
It's a big favor but I've heard of people doing it and it went very well!!
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amother




Babyblue


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 6:43 pm
amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:
I'm so surprised at the amount of negative responses! The world stands on 3 things, gemilus chassadim is the first one!
She can ask and you're allowed to respond you can't if it won't work for you but why not do a chessed if you can?
My kids are the type to always wake up but my downstairs neighbor, who leaves me a monitor to listen to her children once in a while, has children that almost never wake up once asleep!!!
I like the idea of asking them to come check on the kids in the middle so you're not stuck with them if they do wake up!
And by all means, tell them "we go to sleep at 11.30 so please be back then!"
It's a big favor but I've heard of people doing it and it went very well!!

Please just answer this question: do you ever do this for other people? Or are you the one leaving your kids by people's houses?
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amother




Olive


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 6:47 pm
amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:
I'm so surprised at the amount of negative responses! The world stands on 3 things, gemilus chassadim is the first one!
She can ask and you're allowed to respond you can't if it won't work for you but why not do a chessed if you can?
My kids are the type to always wake up but my downstairs neighbor, who leaves me a monitor to listen to her children once in a while, has children that almost never wake up once asleep!!!
I like the idea of asking them to come check on the kids in the middle so you're not stuck with them if they do wake up!
And by all means, tell them "we go to sleep at 11.30 so please be back then!"
It's a big favor but I've heard of people doing it and it went very well!!


I have done it. The baby who won't settle down and screamed for hours is the problem.
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amother




Chocolate


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 6:57 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
Please just answer this question: do you ever do this for other people? Or are you the one leaving your kids by people's houses?

Yes I actually just did last week! Baby sat a baby and 2 yr old! My neighbor went to her nephew's bar mitzva!
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Stars




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 6:58 pm
amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:
I'm so surprised at the amount of negative responses! The world stands on 3 things, gemilus chassadim is the first one!
She can ask and you're allowed to respond you can't if it won't work for you but why not do a chessed if you can?
My kids are the type to always wake up but my downstairs neighbor, who leaves me a monitor to listen to her children once in a while, has children that almost never wake up once asleep!!!
I like the idea of asking them to come check on the kids in the middle so you're not stuck with them if they do wake up!
And by all means, tell them "we go to sleep at 11.30 so please be back then!"
It's a big favor but I've heard of people doing it and it went very well!!


What the world doesn't stand on is burnt out people Banging head
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amother




Chocolate


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 6:59 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
I have done it. The baby who won't settle down and screamed for hours is the problem.

Yes it is that why I said you have to know your kids! It would never work for me to leave my children as they never ever sleep thru the night!!!
But I would think the mother would be honest if asked!
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livinginflatbus




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 7:00 pm
Someone has done it for me . We really appreciated it ! The kids were sleeping whole time and we were back early .
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amother




Azure


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 7:03 pm
amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:
Yes I actually just did last week! Baby sat a baby and 2 yr old! My neighbor went to her nephew's bar mitzva!


On Friday night? And stayed up on a summer Friday night way past the Seudah to watch the kids?
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amother




Jade


Post  Wed, Jun 19 2019, 7:06 pm
amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:
Yes I actually just did last week! Baby sat a baby and 2 yr old! My neighbor went to her nephew's bar mitzva!


See this is different-

1 you’re doing the favor for someone you know and have an ongoing relationship with

2 you’re not already hosting a family of 6/7 with all that entails for the whole weekend!

Honestly I would charge like a pesach hotel for such full service! (Kidding, but I would set my limits, especially with ppl who just assume it would be ok because they will have zero appreciation)

And I’m the type to bh offer babysitting often as a favor but on this level I’m just offended that they feel it’s ok to ask
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