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chipmunks
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Mon, Jun 24 2019, 4:04 pm
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What kind of disappointment are we talking about? Every little thing, like he wants a certain snack and you say no? Or is it something bigger and more specific, like he wants a friend to come over and that's rarely allowed? Not saying he shouldn't learn to deal with either one, but the solutions might vary.
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FranticFrummie
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Mon, Jun 24 2019, 7:40 pm
This does not sound normal to me. An 8yo should be able to behave better.
He needs to be evaluated by a childhood neurology specialist, ped dev, therapist, and others.
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amother
Violet
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Mon, Jun 24 2019, 7:50 pm
| FranticFrummie wrote: | This does not sound normal to me. An 8yo should be able to behave better.
He needs to be evaluated by a childhood neurology specialist, ped dev, therapist, and others. |
Nope, I definitely disagree. If he truly does this for every tiny thing, at home and at school, then I agree with doing an evaluation. Otherwise, many eight year olds are simply not proficient in emotional regulation. It's still very much developmentally appropriate to express disappointment over frustration at home in this way. He needs to be taught how to handle disappointment, and he needs time for the relevant parts of his brain to mature.
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Pickle1
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Mon, Jun 24 2019, 9:45 pm
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I want to reccommend the book 'how to talk so kids can listen, how to listen so kids will talk by adele faber. I had a kid with this issue, this book helped me
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chipmunks
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Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:19 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Earlier today he begged n bargained before devolving into a full blown tantrum because I said he couldn’t invite a friend ( because he gets obnoxious and aggressive when he has one over)
This eve he grunted n kicked cuz he couldn’t figure out how to use his new toy airplane (required a certain dexterity he hasn’t mastered) |
I'm not an expert and I don't know your son (afaik), but could it be that he's bored or lonely more than disappointed? Or maybe it's an ineffective way of asking for your help. If he has trouble figuring out how to, Idk, decide on a game together without him or his friend getting upset and he needs your guidance but doesn't know how to ask, he might start acting up to get your attention. And if he can't figure out his new toy but is embarrassed to ask for your help or doesn't know an appropriate way to do so, same idea.
If this is the case, I doubt he even realizes why he's doing it so asking probably won't help. Could you maybe treat it like a request? Example: he starts acting up over the plane, you come over and tell him maybe you two can figure it out together, etc.
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