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Where's all the Chesed in the world???
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:06 am
Upon many 'major' challenges we are presently going through, the biggest challenge is right now is Financial Strain- extreme poverty. Though most of our challenges are hidden, this Nisoyon is pretty obvious. We live in an old shack like 150 years ago, with a family.

(Without going into personal detail, We are doing our utmost hishtadlus and are still far from making ends meet, due to our abnormal life situation.)
We are a respectable family and are trying to manage on our own for a long time.
The financial strain is seriously effecting our SB, our sanity and some of my innocent children are being treated with medication for anxiety and depression because of this.

We went beyond our dignity to reach out to organizations, wealthy people, family and friends. I opened up to them, asking for help.

Though some gave insignificant amounts like $100 once, many ignored the financial aid and offered to help out otherwise.
Thanks but no Thanks. I need actual help, not advice.
There are so many chesed organizations in the world, but I still haven't found an organization or a helpful person willing to help out people who are really struggling financially due to no fault of their own.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:08 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Upon many 'major' challenges we are presently going through, the biggest challenge is right now is Financial Strain- extreme poverty. Though most of our challenges are hidden, this Nisoyon is pretty obvious. We live in an old shack like 150 years ago, with a family.

(Without going into personal detail, We are doing our utmost hishtadlus and are not still far from making ends meet, due to our abnormal life situation.)
We are a respectable family and are trying to manage on our own for a long time.
The financial strain is seriously effecting our SB, our sanity and some of my innocent children fell into a depression because of this.
We went beyond our dignity to reach out to organizations, wealthy people, family and friends. I opened up to them, asking for help.

Though some gave insignificant amounts like $100 up to $500 once, many ignored the financial aid and offered to help out otherwise.
Thanks but no Thanks. I need actual help, not advice.
There are so many chesed organizations in the world, but I still haven't found an organization or a helpful person willing to help out people who are really struggling financially due to no fault of their own.


What are you looking for specifically?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:09 am
I mentioned it clearly: Financial Aid.
Money to be able to move to a decent Apartment.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:13 am
I'm so sorry you're hurting. It's a painful situation. I don't see how one organization can help support full families for an unseen period of time.

Most people in this situation would need to try a combination of things.

-government help, every penny you can get.
(I don't know if you're in the US but if you are, medicaid, snap, wic, section 8 etc. I know they're a headache)

-subsidized therapy

-tomchei shabbos or similar

-free tutoring

-talk to your kids schools about tuition, reduce drastically

There are more ideas if you can be specific about your biggest expenses and needs.
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:18 am
OP, what do you expect organizations to do? No organization hands out hard cash. There's all types of aid available though, which I hope you're receiving.
And many organizations have a time limit on how long they provide aid for a certain family.
Are you on government programs?
Do you get tomchei shabbos food packages?
Is there a masbia in your area where you can receive meals?
Tuition breaks?
Use local gemachs to shop?
Would you look into moving to a cheaper neighborhood?
You said you need actual help and no advice. But sometimes financial advice is the best help.
The biggest form if tzedaka is not actual money, but giving someone advice on how they can get on their own feet and manage on their own.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:20 am
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
I'm so sorry you're hurting. It's a painful situation. I don't see how one organization can help support full families for an unseen period of time.

Most people in this situation would need to try a combination of things.

-government help, every penny you can get.
(I don't know if you're in the US but if you are, medicaid, snap, wic, section 8 etc. I know they're a headache)

-subsidized therapy

-tomchei shabbos or similar

-free tutoring

-talk to your kids schools about tuition, reduce drastically

There are more ideas if you can be specific about your biggest expenses and needs.


We are working hard and earning more than allowed for government funding, but have other major non-covered expenses, I can't go into detail on a public forum.
I reached out to Tomchei Shabbos, their answer was: We're strapped with funding now.
We asking for discounts but that's not what we need now.
I'm not asking for a long unforeseen time.
"We need help right now so we can move out of this dungeon and continue coping with our other unfortunate non-typical challanges."

Most people don't have 4 special needs children to handle....
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:22 am
Why is 100-500 an insignificant amount?
This is what stops people from giving.

We used to give so much (no we aren’t millionaires), until people started calling with expectations of amounts.
(We don’t spend tons for ourselves, we don’t even own a house)
And if we didn’t meet their expectation, we got a whole guilt trip coming.

Some people who are on the receiving end, don’t realize what it means to work to earn every $100.
It’s like money grows on a tree.

There are SO many places to give to, and you want to help all, but everyone feels entitled to receive the most from all. This makes givers feel taken advantage of.

I recently had a friend call me that she would “like” a $1000 donation from me to some charity she was collecting.
I couldn’t give that, and I gave her $250 which is a beautiful amount. I work HARD for $250.
And she didn’t talk to me for months!! She was so hurt.
Op I hope your situation improves quickly, but please understand those in a giving position.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:23 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We are working hard and earning more than allowed for government funding, but have other major non-covered expenses, I can't go into detail on a public forum.
I reached out to Tochei Shabbos, there answer was: were strapped with funding now.
We asking for discounts but that's not what we need now.
I'm not asking for a long unforeseen time.
"We need help right now so we can move out of this dungeon and continue coping with our other unfortunate non-typical challanges."

Most people don't have 4 special needs children to handle....


I know this sounds crazy but it might be worth it to drop some income. Try talking to UJO to see what the max income for your size family would be to be able to get more government help.

Also do you get Res hab and respite hours for your SN children?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:24 am
I did the absolute most uncomfortable thing, Hiding and have written down our situation in detail. I personally reached out to wealthy people by phone, than emailed them. I got no response.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:26 am
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
Why is 100-500 an insignificant amount?
This is what stops people from giving.

We used to give so much (no we aren’t millionaires), until people started calling with expectations of amounts.
(We don’t spend tons for ourselves, we don’t even own a house)
And if we didn’t meet their expectation, we got a whole guilt trip coming.

Some people who are on the receiving end, don’t realize what it means to work to earn every $100.
It’s like money grows on a tree.

There are SO many places to give to, and you want to help all, but everyone feels entitled to receive the most from all. This makes givers feel taken advantage of.

I recently had a friend call me that she would “like” a $1000 donation from me to some charity she was collecting.
I couldn’t give that, and I gave her $250 which is a beautiful amount. I work HARD for $250.
And she didn’t talk to me for months!! She was so hurt.
Op I hope your situation improves quickly, but please understand those in a giving position.

Omg
With friends like these... I wouldn’t consider a person like that my friend.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:28 am
You must be suffering so much OP!

Realistically, what do you need, one time moving expenses covered? Or ongoing rent covered? People probably don't have the ability to continue supporting a family. They like to give someone a boost so they can then stand on their own.

Wishing you a yeshua quickly!!
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:28 am
I was going to say the same. $ 100 is not insignificant. Tomchei shabbos never turns anyone down due to lack of funding- only if they think the person doesn't have a significant need. Get a trusted person who knows your situation - a Rov or a community figure to call for you. There are tons of organizations that help with clothing and household needs by providing actual items though - not cash. Olam chessed comes to mind though I might be mixing up the name.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:31 am
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
Why is 100-500 an insignificant amount?
This is what stops people from giving.

We used to give so much (no we aren’t millionaires), until people started calling with expectations of amounts.
(We don’t spend tons for ourselves, we don’t even own a house)
And if we didn’t meet their expectation, we got a whole guilt trip coming.

Some people who are on the receiving end, don’t realize what it means to work to earn every $100.
It’s like money grows on a tree.

There are SO many places to give to, and you want to help all, but everyone feels entitled to receive the most from all. This makes givers feel taken advantage of.

I recently had a friend call me that she would “like” a $1000 donation from me to some charity she was collecting.
I couldn’t give that, and I gave her $250 which is a beautiful amount. I work HARD for $250.
And she didn’t talk to me for months!! She was so hurt.
Op I hope your situation improves quickly, but please understand those in a giving position.

We absolutely appreciate every penny people who extend themselves give us, and we Thank them profusely. We never request an amount, and We know very well what a dollar earned means and don't underestimate what they give.
Though when we go beyond our dignity and open up, put ourselves out nude and then receive $100 once, We feel it wasn't worth going through this pain of asking for help.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:33 am
amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:
I was going to say the same. $ 100 is not insignificant. Tomchei shabbos never turns anyone down due to lack of funding- only if they think the person doesn't have a significant need. Get a trusted person who knows your situation - a Rov or a community figure to call for you. There are tons of organizations that help with clothing and household needs by providing actual items though - not cash. Olam chessed comes to mind though I might be mixing up the name.

Unfortunately the reality is that Brooklyn Tomchei Shabbos has been turning down everybody for decades already.
In Brooklyn, please reach out to Oneg Shabbos and Masbia. The packages might need to be picked up.


Last edited by ra_mom on Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:33 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:33 am
Zehava wrote:
Omg
With friends like these... I wouldn’t consider a person like that my friend.


My take is friend is earning a very needed commission on those donations. Its a tough relationship to navigate.
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:34 am
Zehava wrote:
Omg
With friends like these... I wouldn’t consider a person like that my friend.


Yeah, she can forget about a donation from me again....
I just wish people like op wouldn’t take it so personal when others don’t give.
It’s impossible to give everyone. People are clueless as to how many requests there are in a day.

It’s not that people don’t care, it’s just not that easy to give 100 dollars everywhere (And even that amount is “insignificant”)
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:34 am
amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:
I was going to say the same. $ 100 is not insignificant. Tomchei shabbos never turns anyone down due to lack of funding- only if they think the person doesn't have a significant need. Get a trusted person who knows your situation - a Rov or a community figure to call for you. There are tons of organizations that help with clothing and household needs by providing actual items though - not cash. Olam chessed comes to mind though I might be mixing up the name.


We recieve a small amount from Tomchei shabbos, because they have lots of families to help.
Olam chesed can give second hand household items, we don't have where to put more items (even basics).
My kids rotate between 3 sets of clothing and because we don't have where to keep more.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:35 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We absolutely appreciate every penny people who extend themselves give us, and we Thank them profusely. We never request an amount, and We know very well what a dollar earned means and don't underestimate what they give.
Though when we go beyond our dignity and open up, put ourselves out nude and then receive $100 once, We feel it wasn't worth going through this pain of asking for help.


Sounds like your unusual expenses are whats driving the extreme poverty.

What support do you have specifically for taking care of your SN children? Are there programs for this?
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:41 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We absolutely appreciate every penny people who extend themselves give us, and we Thank them profusely. We never request an amount, and We know very well what a dollar earned means and don't underestimate what they give.
Though when we go beyond our dignity and open up, put ourselves out nude and then receive $100 once, We feel it wasn't worth going through this pain of asking for help.



Op I totally understand you, it’s just the entitled people who ruin it for everyone
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 10:53 am
You need a rav or rebbetzen collecting for you. I would concentrate on the special needs situation. I had the same reaction as the others that $500 is a significant amount.

I can't tell you how we are hounded and chased to give money. There are so many people calling asking and deserving also.
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