Where's all the Chesed in the world???

creditcards

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 10:25 am

watergirl wrote:

Her previous evaluations and IEPs didn't do anything to help prove the case?

They didn't want to take anything into consideration.
The case manager actually wanted to approve her but the supervisor didn't let. (The supervisor had a agenda) My lawyer found that out from the back door. There was a lot of corruption involved.

Last edited by creditcards on Wed, Jun 26 2019, 11:39 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 10:46 am

ectomorph wrote:

You know nothing about special needs.

It would save zero money for her to send her kids to public school in ny.

That's actually untrue.

The government must provide a free and appropriate education. That doesn't mean that it has to be in the school of your choice.

Sometimes -- and more commonly in NY than any other place I have heard of -- the school district will be willing to pay a private school when the parents can demonstrate that no public school can offer a free and appropriate education.

But the government does not pay for religious education. So any part of the day spent on religious studies is the obligation of the parents.

In other words, public school would save her thousands. Just like it would save everyone else thousands.

I'm not suggesting that she should do so. I don't have enough information to have an opinion. But you're just plain, dead wrong.

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 11:01 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I did the absolute most uncomfortable thing, Hiding

and have written down our situation in detail. I personally reached out to wealthy people by phone, than emailed them. I got no response.

For better or for worse, OP, its unlikely that anyone is going to respond to a cold call or email asking for money. They don't know who you are, and they don't know if your claimed needs are real. In fact, I doubt anyone even read your emails.

Or if they do respond, its going to be a one-time thing for a few dollars.

If you have a real and ongoing need for tzedaka -- a monthly stipend to subsidize your rent, as it seems -- then you're going to need to have a sponsor to help you get that. That could be your shul running a fundraiser, or setting up a designated portion of the rabbi's discretionary fund designated for you, or setting aside a portion of tzedaka collected at minyans for you. Or an organization in the community (or for children with your kids' disabilities) doing the same.

Also, don't count others' money. You don't know who has huge obligations that aren't public. You don't know who is giving very large sums quietly, and doesn't have any more to give.

In the meantime, see what you can do to fix up where you are. It will still be too small, but at least you'll feel better about it.

creditcards

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 11:38 am

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

Regular public schools have special classes that can accommodate many kids with real special needs. You sued because you didn’t want to send her to public school it seems.

I went to check out the public school class they wanted to put my daughter into with a very highly experienced BCBA that knew my daughter well ( she worked with my daughter). She said there is no way that class will even remotely meet her needs. It was like putting a 6 month old in a class with 3 year olds and expect her to sit with the kids in the class and expect her to understand what is being taught. It would be a waste of her time to even sit there and do her own thing.

creditcards

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 11:47 am

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

That would be true if the people who are in charge of enforcing the law are objective and honest when they make the desision of what to provide for your child. That is not the case all the time.

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 12:57 pm

I work in a public school outside of NY. Yes, if you can prove the system is not able to provide an LRE for your child's needs, they will pay for a private school that can (NOT a religious school, for example a few years ago I had a student who was able to get tuition paid for at a specialized school for students with autism). But bear in mind, the district will already have programs in place that would correspond to many special ed needs. So that would be the first placement, it's not an automatic parent choice thing.

amother

Slategray

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 1:06 pm

I don’t know where all the chessed in the world is, but there seems to be a lot of it in Bayswater, and that’s in NYC!
https://www.bayswaterneighbors......html

If you lived in Bayswater, perhaps you could reach out to Achiezer and Tomchei Shabbos as well.

amother

Olive

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 1:06 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Upon many 'major' challenges we are presently going through, the biggest challenge is right now is Financial Strain- extreme poverty. Though most of our challenges are hidden, this Nisoyon is pretty obvious. We live in an old shack like 150 years ago, with a family.

(Without going into personal detail, We are doing our utmost hishtadlus and are still far from making ends meet, due to our abnormal life situation.)
We are a respectable family and are trying to manage on our own for a long time.
The financial strain is seriously effecting our SB, our sanity and some of my innocent children are being treated with medication for anxiety and depression because of this.

We went beyond our dignity to reach out to organizations, wealthy people, family and friends. I opened up to them, asking for help.

Though some gave insignificant amounts like $100 once, many ignored the financial aid and offered to help out otherwise.
Thanks but no Thanks. I need actual help, not advice.
There are so many chesed organizations in the world, but I still haven't found an organization or a helpful person willing to help out people who are really struggling financially due to no fault of their own.

Maybe it’s your attitude of “it’s coming to me” that is off-putting to people and chessed organizations? No one owes you anything. Maybe start by accepting your situation as what Hashem wants for you right now, practice some humility and then you might elicit better responses of help, good luck

amother

Olive

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 1:08 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

We absolutely appreciate every penny people who extend themselves give us, and we Thank them profusely. We never request an amount, and We know very well what a dollar earned means and don't underestimate what they give.
Though when we go beyond our dignity and open up, put ourselves out nude and then receive $100 once, We feel it wasn't worth going through this pain of asking for help.

This proves my point that you sound ungrateful and don’t appreciate every dollar you get which you should and I’ll bet this is what makes people and org’s not want to give more

amother

Amber

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 1:14 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

This proves my point that you sound ungrateful and don’t appreciate every dollar you get which you should and I’ll bet this is what makes people and org’s not want to give more

Someone can appreciate what she's given and also privately feel that her own dignity is worth more than what she was given. I totally understand what she's saying.

gamanit

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 1:25 pm

nicole81 wrote:

Schools that accept the city's offer as payment in full, no questions asked, are falsifying the cost of the secular education so that the reimbursement also covers the cost of the religious instruction. It's completely fraudulent.

The private jewish-owned special ed schools don't teach religious studies at all, only general studies. They are allowed to teach the aleph beis and about Holidays because that's considered foreign language/culture, but that's it. They don't teach tefila or anything else. It is not fraud.

ra_mom

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 1:37 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

OP I agree that you should reach out to Rabbi Bender at Achiezer. Maybe even see if it's possible to set up a face to face appointment.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 1:38 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

Someone can appreciate what she's given and also privately feel that her own dignity is worth more than what she was given. I totally understand what she's saying.

This! 100%.
Op is not entitled. Just in a lot of pain and in a tight spot.

watergirl

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 1:58 pm

urban gypsy wrote:

Jewish Free Loan society can help for emergency one-time lump sums
OP, is this an option in your community?

For large sums, they almost always require 2 co-signers...

ETA - also, it sounds like what OP needs is ongoing monthly cash assistance. A one time sum is a help for this month but not for next month...

OP, have you contacted your local JCS? Where I live, they actually help monthly with rent. I think there is an 18 month max, but I know one family who has been getting assistance for a very long time on a monthly basis - the wife is a relative of mine and she told me what they do for them. They also help with tuition for one of their kids. I'm sorry I didnt think to mention this earlier in the thread.

urban gypsy

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 2:04 pm

watergirl wrote:

For large sums, they almost always require 2 co-signers...

That's true. Jewish Family Services often has emergency funds for housing too.
For example, I got a one-time check for the first month of rent on a new apartment to enable me to escape from my abusive ex

OP, can you give us a better idea of what you need?
Enough money for a down payment? Money to move? A monthly stipend to afford better housing? Money to pay off your credit card debt?
Without a specific ask towards a certain amount for a certain purpose, it just sounds like you are asking for free money and it won't get you the results you are looking for

happyone

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 5:18 pm

For starters, it would help if you shared location so we can brainstorm . Unless this post was just to vent frustration.

If you live in the NY area there are funds that can be accessed to assist with SN services in addition to SSI payments which can be helpful.

if you are income eligible there may be organizations that can help make it a priority to get section 8 funding and find adequate housing.

in certain communities such as Monsey , organizations can provide a small monthly stipend toward rent.

many communities have food programs in addition to government funded food stamps if putting good on the table is a struggle.

it's tough when you got alot going on and unfortunately individuals cannot take on families under their wings financially when it's an ongoing need. most people, even wealthy ones have many close obligations.
Do you even have moving options should the assistance for the actual move be available? is it the higher rent you cant afford? or are you looking for a down payment to own something??

happyone

Wed, Jun 26 2019, 5:45 pm

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

Happyone, I wouldn't want my tzedaka going to help someone with a down payment! That's not what tzedaka is all about.

I'm totally with you. I am just trying to understand the need! my friend has two children with physical disabilities requiring a fully modified home and space for nursing care and equipment . it didnt make sense to install ceiling lifts and elevators and modified bathrooms in a rental, and so the community rav assisted with a down payment and the family assumes all responsibility for mortgage payments which actually was cheaper than rent. in that case, it made sense to give tzedaka to put that family on their feet to be self sufficient.