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What do working women with working husbands do?!
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 9:45 pm
I'm a public school teacher and need to be out of the house at around 7:20 each morning. It looks like my DH may be going to a coding bootcamp in Manhattan next year which would require that he leave the house at around 7:45.

I have 2 kids, one of whom will be going to playgroup next year. The other needs a full-time babysitter. The playgroup doesn't have any form of transportation (though they used to... I thought they still did when I chose to send my son there. I would've sent him somewhere closer to me had I known.)

How on earth do people manage to get their kids where they need to go, if both they and their DH work? I just tried to price around a babysitter to come to me and take my son to and from playgroup (it's about a 10 minute walk from my apartment). The person I called said it's $15/hour. That's out of my price range if my DH isn't working.

What would you do?


Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 6:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 9:53 pm
Different options. One, pay someone just for those gap hours when neither one of you can be home. Two, pay someone to work for you full time (obviously this is relevant to those earning enough that it makes sense). Three, parents carefully consider jobs and renegotiate work schedules once they have kids in the picture, because yes, someone needs to be there for them. Four, drop off toddler at the home of a friend in his class and the mother takes them to playgroup together when it's time. Pay her a fee that is usually less than hiring someone to your own home.

I'm sure there are more I'm not thinking of...

ETA when any parent is doing schooling, childcare often needs to be factored into the overall cost. People take out loans with this in mind. Unless there's family locally that is willing to provide free child care to fill in the gaps.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 9:55 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
Different options. One, pay someone just for those gap hours when neither one of you can be home. Two, pay someone to work for you full time (obviously this is relevant to those earning enough that it makes sense). Three, parents carefully consider jobs and renegotiate work schedules once they have kids in the picture, because yes, someone needs to be there for them. Four, drop off toddler at the home of a friend in his class and the mother takes them to playgroup together when it's time. Pay her a fee that is usually less than hiring someone to your own home.

I'm sure there are more I'm not thinking of...


Where do you find people to watch the kids for the gap hours? Also, it's the first time I'm sending a child to playgroup, and I don't know who else is sending...

Hopefully once DH finishes this program, he'll be able to work something out and get to work a little later than I need to. Public school hours are non-negotiable.


Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 6:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Amber


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 9:56 pm
I'm out of the house from 745am-5pm.
Hubby is out from 630am-10pm.
Bh we have a great babysitter who I drop my son off for the day by.
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studying_torah




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 9:56 pm
I'm not working now but Iwas talking to dh about one day going back to work. So I wondered that too - kids start at 845, and end at 345. So what do parents do?
Or for all the days off school (chol hamoed, before pessach, winter & chanukah vacation, etc)
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 9:57 pm
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
I'm out of the house from 745am-5pm.
Hubby is out from 630am-10pm.
Bh we have a great babysitter who I drop my son off for the day by.


That would work fine if both kids were going to the babysitter for the whole day. However, I need someone to also take my son to and from playgroup...


Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 9:59 pm
Another option is dropping the playgroup idea and keeping both kids home with a babysitter. I kept my kids home with a wonderful, loving, stimulating babysitter until they were three and I truly believe they thrived because of it. This won't work for everyone though.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:00 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
Another option is dropping the playgroup idea and keeping both kids home with a babysitter. I kept my kids home with a wonderful, loving, stimulating babysitter until they were three and I truly believe they thrived because of it. This won't work for everyone though.


My son desperately needs the social interaction. He's 2 and a few months and very bright. He also gets really bad cabin fever in my apartment (even when he's taken out). He needs more structured stimulation. He probably should've been in playgroup last year, as well.


Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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strawberry cola




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:01 pm
Can you renegotiate playgroup registration, since you registered your child with the assumption that transportation was provided, and since your husband's new schedule has created a problem?
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Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:02 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
Another option is dropping the playgroup idea and keeping both kids home with a babysitter. I kept my kids home with a wonderful, loving, stimulating babysitter until they were three and I truly believe they thrived because of it. This won't work for everyone though.

I was going to suggest this as well. Is it necessary for him to get out of the house?
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:04 pm
smileforamile wrote:
Where do you find people to watch the kids for the gap hours? Also, it's the first time I'm sending a child to playgroup, and I don't know who else is sending...

Hopefully once DH finishes this program, he'll be able to work something out and get to work a little later than I need to. Public school hours are non-negotiable.


Maybe the playgroup will give you the list of parents.
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:07 pm
smileforamile wrote:
My son desperately needs the social interaction. He's 2 and a few months and very bright. He also gets really bad cabin fever in my apartment (even when he's taken out). He needs more structured stimulation. He probably should've been in playgroup last year, as well.


Ok, I'm sure you know what he needs. My kids are very bright as well and the babysitter really did a great job with them. She did daily crafts projects, spent a couple of hours out of the house every day with other kids their age, and had them join in fun housekeeping tasks. But I imagine it's much harder to commit to keeping him home if you don't know how well the babysitter can meet his needs.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:21 pm
Moonlight wrote:
I was going to suggest this as well. Is it necessary for him to get out of the house?


Nowadays, almost everyone starts their kids in playgroup at 2-2.5. I used to think this was ridiculous, but I see that my son could really use it. He's off-the-walls bored at the babysitter now. He looks at other kids his age longingly when we pass them in the street. I'm sending him to playgroup this summer and he keeps asking me, "Is it time for camp yet?" He's really excited.


Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:22 pm
strawberry cola wrote:
Can you renegotiate playgroup registration, since you registered your child with the assumption that transportation was provided, and since your husband's new schedule has created a problem?


It's kind of my problem that I made an assumption about transportation. I went there years ago and they had a van, so I just assumed that they still had one. My fault for not checking.


Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Beige


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:34 pm
Op, I hope you don't mind me asking you how you like working in a public school and what grade you teach? I work in a yeshiva and would love to switch to oublic school because of better pay and benefits but I'm intimidated by the idea of working outside my comfort zone. Did you go to bais yackov? Was public school you first real job or did you start in a frum environment?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:35 pm
amother [ Beige ] wrote:
Op, I hope you don't mind me asking you how you like working in a public school and what grade you teach? I work in a yeshiva and would love to switch to oublic school because of better pay and benefits but I'm intimidated by the idea of working outside my comfort zone. Did you go to bais yackov? Was public school you first real job or did you start in a frum environment?


Pm me about that. There was a thread here recently where I posted my opinions, but then deleted it.


Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:37 pm
smileforamile wrote:
Nowadays, almost everyone starts their kids in playgroup at 2-2.5. I used to think this was ridiculous, but I see that my son could really use it. He's off-the-walls bored at the babysitter now. He looks at other kids his age longingly when we pass them in the street. I'm sending him to playgroup this summer and he keeps asking me, "Is it time for camp yet?" He's really excited.


Yeah, definitely send him to playgroup. Not to a babysitter.
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:38 pm
If you are both out full time, you would probably benefit from having a babysitter in your house. You can call the playgroup Morah to discuss the possibility of paying another parent to carpool your child there and back.
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:40 pm
If $15/hr is the going rate for an in-home babysitter in your area, consider trying to find another family to share the babysitter with, at your house.
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 27 2019, 10:42 pm
But you are correct, there is no perfect solution. Which is why many moms cannot work such long hours. It is often difficult and expensive to figure it out. But it would be amazing if you could find something out that works well for you. Plenty of people do. It's not easy though. Good luck.
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