What do working women with working husbands do?!

BoomChickaPop

Thu, Jun 27 2019, 11:32 pm

I think you should call the playgroup director to discuss if there are any options. Maybe she has an assistant or an older daughter that you can pay to pick up and drop off your son at the babysitter, maybe she can offer you early drop off or extended hours for extra pay.
When I was in that situation then I had a babysitter coming to my house at 7am every morning and she walked the older one a few blocks to school (there was much complaining especially in bad weather which was unpleasant, but there was no other choice), I also kept 2 year olds at home with a babysitter if I had a baby at home at the time, I actually think that it is totally fine to do, but if it is a non-option for you then you are left with the other ideas being posted here...

amother

Thu, Jun 27 2019, 11:38 pm

BoomChickaPop wrote:

I spoke to the playgroup director. She didn't really have any options to give me. 7:45 was way too early.

I am going to try to see if I can get someone to pick up my son from the babysitter in the morning and take him to playgroup.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:02 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Jun 27 2019, 11:43 pm

What about pulling ur baby out of the babysitter and getting a full time nanny. She will come 730 and drop your son off at 9. Then she will stay in your house and shell do your pickup and be in your house with both kids when u get home. Between the hours of 9 and 3 (is 3 pickup?) You can share her with one or 2 neighbors who have babies the same age and they will split the cost with you.

nanny24/7

Thu, Jun 27 2019, 11:45 pm

smileforamile wrote:

The playgroup I'm sending to is about a 10 minute walk from my house and a 7 minute walk from the babysitter. I guess there are one or two that are closer, but not that much closer--maybe a 5 minute walk from me.. Is that worthwhile? I think the issues will be the same.

Ok I admit I am a little confused. You mentioned in your OP that you registered in that playgroup because you thought they would have transportation. So there might be a playgroup that is even very far from you but has transportation and has another child close to your area so the driver is willing to come to your house to make the extra stop for you. I think I paid in the past about $200 extra per month for back and forth playgroup transportation which is still much cheaper than all the babysitting that would be required of there was no transportation.
I never heard of anyone babysitting in your house for only 10 or 12 an hour. Anytime I tried finding someone to come to my house they always wanted $18 even for one kid and like you said maybe they can be bargained down to $15. Even then they didn't want to do it for just 2 hour shifts in the morning so then they wanted more like 25 an hour so they get to make at least 50 a day.

amother

Thu, Jun 27 2019, 11:49 pm

nanny24/7 wrote:

You're right--theoretically I could try to find a playgroup with transportation. I just don't know if there are any for this age group that wouldn't have a much higher fee to begin with. I'm paying $400 a month for my son's playgroup.

I guess I was wrong in thinking that the home babysitting wouldn't be so much steeper than out of home. I will definitely send to the babysitter a couple of blocks away for less than half the price.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:03 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Floralwhite

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 12:04 am

Op, I also leave my house very early and end late. My dh took a more flexible part time job to be able to do am and pm bus pickup and he works evenings. Its cheaper than having a fulltime babysitter and bec. My dh can be home for days off and friday afternoon as my job is very strict.

But, so far, we have not found a better solution. I dont know what others do, especially bec there are also sick days such that children cant go to playgroup/school.

I understand what you mean and have not come up with a solution yet. Like others said, sometimes one spouse takes a more flexible lower paying job bec of this reason.

Hatzlacha!!

amother

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 12:08 am

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

In the long run, it could be that DH will get a job that allows him to work remotely or have somewhat flexible hours. He's going for software engineering, and there is an increasing trend towards allowing for remote work in that field. However, it might take a few years until he gets to that point.

As a public school teacher, I get a pretty decent salary, premium-free health insurance, and summers off, which are a big deal!

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:03 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 12:09 am

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

In the long run, it could be that DH will get a job that allows him to work remotely or have somewhat flexible hours. He's going for software engineering, and there is an increasing trend towards allowing for remote work in that field. However, it might take a few years until he gets to that point.

As a public school teacher, I get a pretty decent salary, premium-free health insurance, and summers off, which are a big deal!

Also, I work 8:20-3:11 every day. There are many women who work longer hours than that. How do they manage?

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:03 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Cerise

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 1:46 am

ra_mom wrote:

My friend in Flatbush used to send her son to a babysitter on the block of the playgroup/school. She paid a small amount to the teacher's assistant to have her walk him over to the babysitter on that block every day.

This is a great idea. My friends in this situation have found college girls to take their kids to play group, pick them up, etc.

amother

Mauve

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 3:24 am

My husband is the one with a little more flexibility. He has to be at work at nine so able to get kids out at 8:30 and leave to work. I work 3 night shifts so in the evening hours we have a babysitter come from when I leave at 6ish until my husband comes home usually about 7. So we both work full time but it's really pretty minimal extra help. Usually just 2 hrs babysitting a week.

dak11

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 11:31 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

Yes. This is what most people in NY do when both parents work and have inflexible schedules. Also, if you have a full time babysitter\nanny, then you don't need to worry about the days off that your children may have that you don't and also if your kids are sick and you can't take off for so many days, but you don't want to send them back to school if they are not 100% better, they can stay home. It will probably cost about 2k a month and many people share to defray the cost.

amother

Olive

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 4:26 pm

Aylat wrote:

I got a teenager to come and babysit from 6.30 am a few times a week when I needed to get the early bus. Her school was in easy walking distance so she could get my kids out and get to school on time herself. Is that a possibility?

I like this idea- I'll ask around.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 6:59 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Natural

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 6:46 pm

In my neighborhood (OOT, if it matters) families with both parents working long hours typically have a live-in nanny. It would be rare to find a babysitter to come that early, or late-stay at daycare that goes late enough for parents with demanding careers. People tell me it's more economical than day care. The other option - the one we chose - was to limit our work hours and choose our work opportunities so one parent would be available early morning and late afternoon.

amother

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 6:47 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

We don't have money or space for a live-in nanny. I live in a small 2-bedroom basement apartment.

In the long run, DH will most likely need to get a job that allows some flexibility of hours. Public school is not that kind of job, but it suits our needs in other ways. This year, though, when DH will be in school, we don't have any flexibility.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:04 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Gold

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 7:44 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

I don’t know how playgroups in Flatbush work, but if it’s not too late to switch, perhaps you can find a playgroup that offers extended day.

This. Why are nanny or playgroup with bad hours+part time babysitter the only options mentioned here? I don't really understand the playgroup thing (we just call it daycare and playgroup is for playing with moms there) but DH and I work full time, so we found a daycare with hours that work for us. If you can get out of the contract, find a place with better hours. Maybe even a nonjewish place, just when they're little, so you don't have to worry about erev chag and early Fridays. Thats what families with 2 working parents do if they can't afford a nanny.