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S/O Shabbos
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 02 2019, 7:49 am
Shabbat should be a day of "YES" not "no."

Yes, we are going to eat delicious foods that we don't eat during the week.

Yes, we are going to have friends over to play.

Yes, we are going to play games at night -- games that we probably don't have time for all week.

Yes, we are going to go to the park.

Sure, the kids want muktzah sometimes, and its not easy. But we let them slowly outgrow it, instead of pushing everything at once.
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OutATowner




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 02 2019, 7:50 am
I'm another fan of letting kids take things on as they get older. Kids learn by example, and when they take ownership of it, it is more likely to last. Presenting it in a positive way: "big kids only use shabbos toys" instead of "we dont use muktzah" appeals much more to kids and they will have a more positive association with Shabbos.
We have Shabbos games, Shabbos treats by the table for parsha, they play with friends...
When my kids see people not keeping shabbos, or know of people who don't keep shabbos (which is often), they ask questions. I just say "we are so lucky to have shabbos, maybe they do some shabbosdik things." But I focus on how we are lucky, that's have a day to spend together, get treats, not have to rush out or worry etc.
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OutATowner




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 02 2019, 7:51 am
SixOfWands wrote:
Shabbat should be a day of "YES" not "no."

Yes, we are going to eat delicious foods that we don't eat during the week.

Yes, we are going to have friends over to play.

Yes, we are going to play games at night -- games that we probably don't have time for all week.

Yes, we are going to go to the park.

Sure, the kids want muktzah sometimes, and its not easy. But we let them slowly outgrow it, instead of pushing everything at once.

Well said!
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giselle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:11 am
I also heard that you’re not supposed to tell a 7 or 8 year old (I could be off on the exact number) that something is muktza if they’re already using it, because if they then purposely continue using it, that’s worse. Even though they are technically not yet responsible for mitzvos.

Last edited by giselle on Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:14 am; edited 1 time in total
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:13 am
giselle wrote:
I also heard that you’re not supposed to tell a 7 or 8 year old (I could be off on the exact number) that something is muktza if they’re already using it, because if they then purposely
continue using it, that’s worse. Even though they are technically not yet responsible for mitzvos.

So interesting-I'm gonna ask my Rabbi about this. Never heard of it
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:19 am
singleagain wrote:
Just had another thought... I've seen advocated in this site over and over to answer birds and bees questions kids ask in age appropriate manner.. why should Shabbos or any other mitzvah be different?


You are very wise.
I would add that Shabbos is different in that we can start from day one creating an atmosphere of positivity for Shabbos that the kids will imbibe well before having birds and bees questions.
We might need a long term picture. There are tekufos in life where our lives are operating like the bumper sticker: Student driver. Please don't honk, I'm peddling as fast as I can.
And we look back each day and see how hectic and hamster wheelish it was and how many balls we dropped. But our kids might grow up to thank us for creating a feeling of calm on erev Shabbos and providing treats and activities (books, toys, walking them to friends and playgrounds) that made them feel good about Shabbos.
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ShishKabob




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 02 2019, 9:59 am
Shabbos is lots of fun. We have Shabbos parties and special food. We sing a lot and everyone joins in. We have fun with contemporary songs that the kids love but we try to only sing the Shabbos related ones.
I have time to sit on the couch with the kids and schmooze with them.
We have special breakfast on Shabbos morning that we never have during the week.
I also give special milchig chocolate so they look forward to that.
I bought special Shabbos duplo that we don't use during the week so they look forward to that as well.
Special Itialian ices that are only for Shabbos.
We go to the park also which is a special Shabbos thing.
We'll try to visit someone for a bit and we only do that on Shabbos.
I do point out to my toddler if something is muktza that he is playing with. I won't necessarily take it away.
It's so funny because I consider myself very frum but I never remind my dd that's 7 to wash for bread. I don't make an issue out of it at all. It'll grow on her with time.
I think preparation is key regarding the food, treats, toys, games, and spacing out the time and making sure that it's fun and enjoyable.
Whatever you do, you should have a Good Shabbos
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:20 am
amother [ Tan ] wrote:
There’s a 39 malochos children’s book.
When the kids were younger we us to read/discuss 1 me lacha a week, at the meal.
When we finished we started all over.
We started when my oldest was 5.
As the kids got older they would think of unique ways that this Halacha might or might not apply.
As an adult I learned a lot as well.

We also sang a lot at the table, classics and modern songs. We played a game where someone would say a word, Hebrew or English, and you had to think of a song with that word.

Of course there was also special treats.

On Friday afternoons was a time to relax.
Everyone got a toamecha treat 1 hr before Shabbat, if they were 100% ready and all muktza was put away. Usually a piece of cake or cookies, something that would be served later on at night.


I love that book so much! DD and I are both very visual learners, and our copy has gotten a lot of use. IMHO, it's worth every single penny.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:26 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
I love that book so much! DD and I are both very visual learners, and our copy has gotten a lot of use. IMHO, it's worth every single penny.
...to get the laminated one Cool
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