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You are not on your level yet?
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Amalia




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 03 2019, 12:00 pm
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
In chabad we are taught according to chassidus that movies ,secular book's, non Jewish music is not good for our neshamas.I feel bad that you feel guilty for doing these above mention stuff but realise that because you understand the reason why we say its bad for the neshamah that's why you feel guilty.just like if I would if I do the above mentioned things . Its our neshamas talking to us. Now you have to realize the deference between what's halacha , chumra, minhag and whats best for your neshama .therefor if watching a movie is going to make you so resentful about yiddishkeit oblivious its better to watch a movie and then be happy to keep shabbos , kosher etc.same with covering you hair and all the rest.the rebbe never told us to push anyone.and make people feel guilty .anyone who feels guilty is because they know the truth and still listing to the yatzire harah.sorry to be blunt , but don't knock chabad, because its hard to do things that you understand is not the best for you.they say ignorance is bliss ,its true . Sometimes I wish I could enjoy a movie or a book too but I can't ( I tried ) that's life. Our gains we will see when moshiach comes.


Oy, if only it was so simple..
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Amalia




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 03 2019, 12:12 pm
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
As a proud Lubavitcher, shlucha, BY graduate too, I’m surprised and saddened by some of what was shared.
(My litvish Halacha teacher was not too good at quoting or respecting other shitos in Halacha and minhag . maybe it’s about the individuals and not the derech)
Either way, OP is hurting and let’s try to help her rather than descend into Chabad-bashing especially as this Shabbos is Gimmel Tammuz (25 years since Rebbes histalkus).

About levels, I think in life we are always working on ourselves, whether in areas of halacha, middos (having kids is great for that!), performance of chesed, other mitzvos, Torah learning, davening, take your pick. If we’d accomplished all we were meant to do in this world already then....

OP, I feel for you if you feel you’re getting unkind comments.
I’m not sure I understand the comments you’re receiving or how they’re reasonable. [b]The word ‘level’ has me confused. Who determines what is the right ‘level’? [/b]
Maybe you need to find a good guide for yourself who can help you sort Halacha from minhag and teach you from sources so you can feel comfortable in your choices.

Anon because I’ve shared too much about myself.


If I understood the OP correctly, the bolded is exactly her question and is exactly what she is confused about.
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Amalia




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 03 2019, 12:17 pm
[quote="amother [ Lemon ]"]I have experience with Chabad Kiruv . They tell you what to do and what Halacha is according to them . My friend asked the rebetzin if one is allowed to eat cholov stam . In my presence. The rebetzin anwered - no, only cholov Yisroel , it’s basic and unchangeable Halacha. My friend said that she knows many frum jews who eat cholov stam , the answer was - “no, it’s not kosher” .

Yes. After I got married, my husband’s Litvish Rav paskened that if I wish to go back to eating chalav stam (which is what my husband holds), I have to do hataras nedarim. It had to do with what I had in mind when I began keeping chalav Yisroel - which corresponded to what I had been taught about it by a wonderful Chabad Rabbi - even though I did not make a formal neder.
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Just One




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 04 2019, 8:22 am
naturalmom5 wrote:
OP, sorry to be cynical.
But everything you are describing seems very external and superficial.. I can take the most banal heathen lady from the street and put a piece of cloth on her head..
Learn a perek of Tanya or Mesilas Yesharim every day and internalize it.
Do a quiet chesed for someone daily that you don't get covod for.
Make a Kiddush Hashem whenever you go to the store or work..
Be scrupulously honest in all your business dealings.
Smile.. The Gam' in Brochos says giving a smile is more than giving gold and silver..
That is real spiritual growth..

Very true. However torah is made up of more than mitvos bein adam lachvero. For some reason Hashem wanted us to also do stuff strictly for his sake
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Just One




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 04 2019, 8:39 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The title is saying a lot.
''You are not on your level yet'' I've heard it a lot.
And I don't like it. For instance if I say that I'm not covering inside the house someone will say to me ''You are not that level yet''.
It seems that there is an ideal level of frumkheit and if you reach that you are... A tzaddik? More frum? I've argued with a Chabad rebbetzen that I don't find sleeping with a snood halacha ''but it is'' and then I'm doubting... and then I think am I on the right level? Do I want to be frumer and frumer? Is for instance a chassidisha lady with 14 children and always in a snood or spitzelech, always in stockings more holy then me? And who decides that? It seems only outlook so for instance if I come in with my very long aubrun sheital I'm not enough tznius and therefore not frum enough for an certain group? Or I'm not on that level yet... It totally assumes for me that there is a kinda of jewish enlightment you want to strive to and I don't feel it that way. I do the best I can and maybe I look still secular from the outside I steel feel frum but what do people mean by ''your level'' it gives as I say a segretation, and I don't know anymore what the goal is for the mitzvos to go to a higher level.... This is an struggle for me some people also have this?

Btw I'm BT so I did not have had the education and everything


I haven't gone through most of the answers so I'm just replying directly to the question. Please excuse me if I'm being repetitive.
I think every person has to do asei lecha rav, find a derech and Rav whom they respect and believe in. Once you have made that decision, you follow what that rav says. So if you are Lubavitch your "frummer" will not be wearing a tichel. If you are from a different chassidus your "frummer" will not be wearing a wig...
It's only at that point that you take stock and figure out where you are holding. You obviously don't want to bite off more than you can chew. But you can and should look up to a higher level of observance that you rav ascribes to and at least aspire that one day in the future you'll be up to doing that. We should all be on an upward projectory. Every Yid should be a mehalach. We don't want to stagnate.
Together with your rav you also need to figure out whats halacha, minhag and chumra and figure things out accordingly
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