14 year old DD does not want to get vaccinated

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Forum -> Children's Health -> Vaccinations

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amother

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:02 am

I live in Williamsburg where anti-vaccine propaganda is pretty intense. It was also very hotly debated among her classmates and many of them are against vaccination. My daughter is fully convinced that she can get seriously harmed or even die from vaccines. Hours of logical explanation doesn't sway her. She needs to get the Meningitis vaccines for school. How can I get her to get it? I obviously can't drag her into the doctor's office screaming against her will! She is petrified and obstinate that she's never getting a vaccine in her life!

Yesterday I took the little ones in for their missing vaccines to the doctor. She's hysterical that I damaged and am killing them. Does she need to see a psychiatrist?? She's crying non stop that her siblings got shots! I want to kill the anti-vaccine movement fans!!!

watergirl

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:04 am

What is WSBG?

flowerpower

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:10 am

Seems like shes hanging out with messed up people. 14 year olds should not have interest in such things. Let your pedi have a talk with her and explain what vaccines are all about and what they prevent.

flowerpower

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:10 am

watergirl wrote:

What is WSBG?

Williamsburg.

veiznisht

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:13 am

Maybe show her the Pie pamphlet? Or the one that came with Ami a few weeks ago with Gedolim telling us to vaccinate. She clearly needs to be reeducated.

ectomorph

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:14 am

This sounds crazy. Can you speak to the school principal and have her explain to the class that the vaccines are safe and necessary?

PinkFridge

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:22 am

Do you have a rav or rebbetzin she can talk to? You can tell her that she has to talk to whoever you deem appropriate and then you'll take it from there. But let her know she is completely not fully informed, as much as she feel she is.

amother

Mint

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:23 am

And if she said she didnt want to get her period? Some things go in the category of "too bad. I know whats best for you."

Shes probably scared of actually getting a shot which even adults have trouble with. Deal with that first. And I just got the shot. Its a pin prick, then a warm feeling and its over. No, im not autistic now. I didnt die either Baruch Hashem.

nchr

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:26 am

I don't think you can forcefully vaccinate her; however, she should not think that she has a right to tell you how to parent your other children and that needs to be made clear.

You can tell her that the medical and frum community supports vaccinations, that they are safe and effective, and illustrate some of the mistruths from the anti vax community. If she has specific concerns, have her write them down, and respond to them or talk to your pediatrician about them, together with her.

southernbubby

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:34 am

Does she know that meningitis can result in the loss of all 4 limbs?

SixOfWands

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:36 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Wait a few days and show her that her siblings are healthy and happy. Remind her that she has been vaccinated, and is healthy and happy.

Then tell her that you want her to do her own research. Start with the complications and death rates from vaccine-preventable illness.

Talk about what meningitis is. How it can be transmitted by things that she probably does, like sharing a drink with a friend. Let her read about how 1 in 10 people who get it die (sometimes within 24 hours), and another 6 (adolescent survivors) wind up with significant mental or physical disabilities.

Knowledge is king.

notshanarishona

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:37 am

I wouldn't give her a choice. Just like getting cavities filled is not a choice . You are responsible for taking care of her health . What I would do I combination of educating her and either positive /negative reinforcement. And also talk to her school about why they are allowing a anti vaccine attitude and what they are doing to counter it.

PinkFridge

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:40 am

notshanarishona wrote:

The bolded, totally.
If this kind of stuff is going on in the schools among the students, the schools need to bring in people to talk to them - medical professionals who are respected in the community and rabbanim and rebbetzins.

amother

Salmon

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:42 am

This behavior is extreme for a 14 year old. I would definitely get the school involved in this.
Maybe take her to the pediatrician to talk to her about vaccines.

yksraya

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:43 am

What others said, to show her research about vaccine preventable illnesses.

Also, explain to her about the brainwashing and fear mongering that is going on by some manipulative crazies. And explain to her that this is the reason we have a serious measles outbreak and that it is easily preventable if we all vax.

exaustedmom

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:45 am

Most pediatricians will take the time to calm down and explain the importance and relative safety of vaccines. In addition, as someone mentioned, speak to the school principal. The anti-vaxxers should not be allowed to brainwash the girls!

Last edited by exaustedmom on Tue, Jul 02 2019, 2:18 pm; edited 1 time in total

singleagain

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 12:10 pm

When my brother was in camp, a boy from his year died of meningitis. It was scary, bc my brother had been exposed. I remember my parents bought him home early and he collapsed at one point... I was terrified for him. BH he's ok.

animeme

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 12:31 pm

I actually would check if this is feeding into a previously present anxiety disorder. It reminds me of religiously manifested OCD. I would use the suggestions above, but also take real stock of how she has dealt wth health issues or other stressors before this.

If she needs this shot to go to school in September, that needs to be presented to her directly, with appropriate natural consequences. I'm wondering why she's getting it now, when it's usually earlier (to my knowledge, it's usually needed by sixth grade.) If your family has had alternative vaxing schedules until now, that could be feeding into this.

WhatFor

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 12:34 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

This but also explain that propaganda is sometimes used by foreign powers to target a population so that more people get sick and die. Explain that we don't know the source of this but it is obviously someone with a vested interest in seeing either more Americans or more Jews die. She seems to be motivated by fear so hopefully this combined with seeing nothing happened to her siblings will prove what a lie this propaganda is.

polka dots

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 12:36 pm

veiznisht wrote:

Maybe show her the Pie pamphlet? Or the one that came with Ami a few weeks ago with Gedolim telling us to vaccinate. She clearly needs to be reeducated.

Maybe show her this pamphlet and tell her that a shaliach mitzvah doesn’t get hurt. Maybe if you don’t get into whole argument about vaccines just letting her know that even if hypothetically she would be right,we follow the gedolim from our generation and Hashem protects us will put her at ease.
And I would probably call the school too

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