Do siblings need to be invited to sheva brachos

amother

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 5:30 pm

My little brother is getting married. The siblings, all of us 28 +, would like to host a sheva brachos.
If we make it an adult sheva brachos, meaning none of us will bring our kids (to save on costs), do we need to invite the kallahs siblings, ages 2-18?
We are disagreeing if this is acceptable or rude and would like to hear what others would feel.

amother

Hotpink

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 5:37 pm

If it’s adult only I would think u can invite everyone over 15 or so.

amother

Powderblue

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 5:37 pm

It's definitely not expected for siblings to be invited to all sheva brachos. They usually aren't even interested in going to that many.

amother

Emerald

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 5:50 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If all YOUR adult siblings are being invited, it’s only mentshlich to invite all her adult siblings.

lucky14

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 5:54 pm

I think it's something you need to discuss with her or her side of the family. I wouldn't want to cause any hard feelings. Make it clear what's going on and find out from them what they expect.

amother

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 5:58 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

If all YOUR adult siblings are being invited, it’s only mentshlich to invite all her adult siblings.

She is 19 and the oldest

SuperWify

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 5:59 pm

It’s your Sheva berachos you can do as you wish.

But it is nice to invite everyone maybe all those 16+ or so. Your brother is getting a new family. It’s only nice to make everyone feel welcome.

crust

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 6:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

She is 19 and the oldest

Yes you invite the siblings that are still at home. Married siblings not important.

dankbar

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 6:28 pm

I think that ettiquette wise it would be nice to invite kallah's sibs still living at home, then they can decide who they want to bring along. Sometimes they won't even be interested to shlep along toddlers & little kids to every sheva bruchos. They will also need one to babsit little ones, so they might decide to only bring along two big ones...

teachkids

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 6:38 pm

In my experience there's generally a night that chossons faculty makes and invites whoever and one that kallahs family makes

amother

Brunette

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 6:51 pm

In the chassidish world it's accepted that you invite just the siblings from the side making the sheva brachos. And if your kids are not invited, you don't need to invite their kids.

amother

Yellow

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 7:36 pm

The little ones belong at home in their beds. The teenagers should be given the option to come or not. They might not want to be with older married couples. We just made a wedding and my 2 daughters opted out of one of the evenings. Six nights of getting dressed up and being out from about 7 until 11 is not practical. Especially if they are teens who have regents or finals.

tichellady

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 9:43 pm

I would invite the whole family and then let the parents decide who they want to bring.

amother

Lime

Sat, Jul 06 2019, 2:46 pm

In my circles it’s not expected to invite anyone from the other side unless it’s Shabbat. (DL/MO)

Aylat

Sat, Jul 06 2019, 3:13 pm

You're talking about not bringing kids who are the chatan's nieces and nephews. That's not equivalent to kids who are the kallah's siblings.

yerushamama

Sat, Jul 06 2019, 4:06 pm

I think that it would be reasonable to say that "this one is for adults", as long as the kids aren't left out of all of the sheva brachos. When my BIL got married, my DH and I were invited every night, since we flew in from Israel, but his sister (also a married adult, but living nearby) was not - she was only invited to the ones where the hosts knew her.

Rappel

Sat, Jul 06 2019, 4:31 pm

If I were the bride's mother, I'd think it was very rude and unfriendly to exclude all her siblings.

Metukah

Sat, Jul 06 2019, 9:10 pm

Aylat wrote:

You're talking about not bringing kids who are the chatan's nieces and nephews. That's not equivalent to kids who are the kallah's siblings.

I agree. You are the chossons siblings, they are the Kallah siblings. Not comparable to your kids who are only nieces and nephew's.

sarahiam

Sat, Jul 06 2019, 10:50 pm

always worth it to just invite instead of always wondering if shoiuld have

Notsobusy

Sat, Jul 06 2019, 11:17 pm

I think the nice thing to do is to invite them, but you can mention that it's being an adult only party so they might not enjoy it.