My son is scared | Imamother

amother

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 11:05 am

I toilet trained my son about a month and a half ago and he was doing great for #1 then I bought him a toy if he goes #2 and he actually did as soon as I brought it home but didn't think he would actually go so I left him on the toilet and he was freaked out when it happened. I felt so bad that I left him. Then we got him to go again but he had a loose stomach so he kept having to go and his stomach was bothering him. Since then he only made in a pull up or underwear. I tried bribing him with toys, sit with him in the bathroom but he goes on the toilet and says I don't wanna make or I'm done and he didn't go. I feel so bad because every time he is about to go in his underwear I stop him and bring him to the bathroom but then we go together and he doesn't go. How do I get him to go without making him crazy? I don't wanna bother him too much don't want him to get mad about the whole thing but he is constipating himself for a few days already. Any advice?

amother

Brunette

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 11:20 am

I went through this too with my son.
First the most important thing is he should never hold it in. If he’s scared to make you should offer a pullup to make in. If he gets in the habit of getting constipated then you will have much bigger problems that can cause life long problems with his bowels.

Offer lots of toys as bribes. Be very easygoing and cheerful. Be very easygoing if he does or doesn’t make. Either way you should be cheerful with him. Praise him for trying. Tell him that’s ok if you didn’t make in the toilet, next time you will. Talk about the poop in his tummy that wants to go swimming in the toilet. Ask him if the poop is nervous. Talk about his feelings.

I did all this and BH after 6 months he is finally making consistently on the toilet.
It took about 3-4 months of talking and looking longingly at a present waiting for him on a shelf, before making in the toilet (it wasn’t his first time, he had a couple of times before that were bad memories for him, but it was his first time that was followed by more successful times until he finally was trained) then another 2-3 months of on and off successes.

When someone told me her experience and that her son was 4 by the time he was trained I was so upset but it helped me understand that it takes time. my son was 3.5 when he finally was trained.