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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
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amother
Bronze
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 Mon, Jul 08 2019, 6:45 pm
| amother [ Olive ] wrote: | | No it wasn’t the right thing. He’s just as much a parent as you are. How would u like if dh kept secrets from u? |
When someone tells you something in confidence, you absolutely are not allowed to tell your husband. It is 100% assur to share someone else's secret.
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amother
Pearl
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Mon, Jul 08 2019, 6:45 pm
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Depend on the secret. If it's not a big deal, more like losing recess for mild misbehavior, ok. If it's getting in trouble fo serious bullying or being suspended or some such, that's a different story.
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amother
Bisque
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Mon, Jul 08 2019, 6:47 pm
| amother [ Bronze ] wrote: | | When someone tells you something in confidence, you absolutely are not allowed to tell your husband. It is 100% assur to share someone else's secret. |
I consider myself one with my husband, and my kids know that.
Mommy and Totty being one entity and loving each other is a very secure thing for a child to know
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amother
Bronze
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Mon, Jul 08 2019, 6:54 pm
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It doesn't matter how close you are to your husband, he is still a different person.
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amother
Plum
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Mon, Jul 08 2019, 7:07 pm
| amother [ Olive ] wrote: | | No it wasn’t the right thing. He’s just as much a parent as you are. How would u like if dh kept secrets from u? |
Being a parent doesn't mean you have the right to know every little thing that goes on in your child's day.
If my child told something to my husband and asked that I not be told - I would be fine with it. If the secret was something that requires parenting from me - my husband would tell me.
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amother
Oak
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Mon, Jul 08 2019, 7:08 pm
| amother [ Bisque ] wrote: | I consider myself one with my husband, and my kids know that.
Mommy and Totty being one entity and loving each other is a very secure thing for a child to know |
What has love to do with sharing other people's secrets?
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Mon, Jul 08 2019, 7:10 pm
I would keep a secret if my husband is the type of telling back my son that he knows the secret. And my DH is super the type.grrrr.
I would not keep the sectret if it's a huge thing. I would tell husband and make him promisse secrecy.
You should keep a secret if you can handle what needs to be handled your self beyond any doubt. Keeping a sectret and not handling the issue because of the secrecy is not good. Maybe it does not need handling so thats sonething else. Lets say he made #2 in school in pants and its not first time. You can take him to Drs yourself. Until there is no cholila diagnosis you can keep a secret.
If your husband has shown in the past being able to handle and hold secrets of kids very very well then you could share even little things.
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Ema of 5
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Mon, Jul 08 2019, 7:10 pm
| amother [ Bisque ] wrote: | I consider myself one with my husband, and my kids know that.
Mommy and Totty being one entity and loving each other is a very secure thing for a child to know |
You can be one parental unit while still being individuals.
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Reality
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Mon, Jul 08 2019, 7:13 pm
I think it depends on the secret.
If it was the boys in my bunk laughed at me today cuz I forgot to zip my fly then I think it's safe to keep that type of secret.
If it was my counselor touched me and I felt weird type of secret then your husband should be told.
Only you OP knows what type of secret it is and act accordingly!
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cinnamon
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Tue, Jul 09 2019, 4:24 am
Thanks for all the answers. It feels so good to be able to get advice here.
It was really no big deal just a small embaressing incident.
DS went to school happily today and I'm keeping his secret.
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