So sad about psak I just got. Pls offer chizuk UPDATE

amother

Lime

Thu, Feb 27 2020, 5:23 pm

There are different halachic opinions on whether you are officially naming after someone if it isn't the exact name. It sounds like your Rav holds it needs to be the exact name or what he was called. Many don't hold that way and lots of people I know In regular yeshivish circles consider themselves named after people even though the name is not the exact name or what they were called ( they were named with the first name only or same first name, diff middle name etc) .

For that matter, those who hold this opinion don't consider it being named after someone if a girl is named after a boy or visa versa with a similar name bc again, it isn't the same name. Yet lots and lots of frum people still name after opposite gender grandparent or use only one name the same.

Knowing all this:
1. You can decide that because your rav doenst hold that using a partial name is "really" naming after the person you will not use any name reminding u of the person and just work on accepting that this wasn't meant to be your child's name, And a diff name was meant for your child.

2. Or you can decide use the name anyway that while this rav and many others don't consider it "really" naming after the person since some people do, it is better than nothing and will still remind you fo the person and bring great pleasure to your relatives who loved this person.

3. If your parent will be very happy that a baby is symbolically names after their loved one , you can view that as kibud aim and get pleasure from doing so and view at symbolically named after.

4. I personally can relate. My parent was niftar and I would love for my grandchild to be named after them. Since the middle name is the same as my in laws parent- they can't use the name bc they only believe in using full exact names. If they don't name at all after my parent I will view it as not meant to be the child's name and understand, but I would be very happy if they symbolically named after my parent with one name even though they don't believe it is halachicly naming. I would Still be thrilled. Since I grew up in a family where many people were named after grandparents with partial naming or half names and diff genders- to me it would feel that the child was named after my parent and it would be a way to talk about their traits and feel connected.