How to respond "She has XYZ degree so she is set for life"

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amother

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 11:15 pm

I recently someone who told me that her daughter has a certain specialized degree so she is set for life. How should I respond?

amother

Indigo

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 11:19 pm

BH!

amother

Indigo

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 11:19 pm

Or -
whatever!!!

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 11:22 pm

No response needed. There really isn't anything to say. Just nod your head and move on to the next topic.

seeker

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 11:24 pm

No response. People will believe what they want. If she turns out to be wrong, she'll find out.

33055

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 11:26 pm

That's great! Lots of hard work to get there! Be positive and share in her joy.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 11:43 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I recently someone who told me that her daughter has a certain specialized degree so she is set for life. How should I respond?

Baruch HaShem! My own daughter is in a programme like that. However, I complete get that it’s all from god and that her choices are her choices. Yes, her resume will be impressive when she graduates, but her choices will dictate how set she is. And that is min hashamayim

amother

Orchid

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 11:53 pm

"I hope so."

BatyaEsther

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 11:58 pm

You must be so proud of her.

Why would you need to take from someone else's nachas?

nicole81

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 11:59 pm

"Okay."

Optional: "Thanks for sharing."

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 12:18 am

How is she going to manage with a large family?

amother

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 12:25 am

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

How is she going to manage with a large family?

Since when does a successful career guarantee a large family? I know many people who had to change careers because the economy changed. I also know people who had a messy divorce and all the money in the world couldn't save the marriage. I know of people who got sick and money didn't stop them from dying. I also know people who were forced out of their careers by wicked people. That's what irks me.

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 12:29 am

Of course there are no guarantees of anything in life. But what do you gain from bursting her bubble, besides an insulted & angry friend.

DrMom

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 1:01 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Huh? Who said she wanted a large family?
Why does any of this irk you?

Why do you have to be a curmudgeon?
Someone is trying to pay this person a compliment. Can't you just go with it?

Learning

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 1:44 am

Why even is it a question? She obviously did hishtadlus for parnasa and the mother is happy about it. Even if you think she is not set for life ....with certain degree it is more often that you are set for life money wise better than if you don’t have a degree. It sounds like you are deep inside want to crush her accomplishment. She was maybe bragging but let her brag it’s her daughter and idk why do you have a problem with that. Are you too pious for a degree or is it another issue?

amother

Smokey

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 1:48 am

I don't understand your question? Why does it bother you if she said that?
I'd say : I'm very happy! A good degree is so important these days. Well done.

LovesHashem

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 8:14 am

I think OP is saying the phrase "set for life" in a incorrect one.
You never know what life will bring you financially and even if it DOES financially "set" you for life that doesn't mean anything else will go well in your life.

I agree with OP, we do hishtadlus but just because you have a PHD does in no way mean you are "set", happy and comfortable for life.

OP you can't change how other people view this, so I'd suggest commenting in a non-commitment way that doesn't show you necessarily agree and many posters have named a few possible responses:

"A good degree is really helpful in life"
"She must of worked really hard for that degree"
"Bezras Hashem she will get a great job with that degree!"

And then change the subject.

amother

Coral

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 8:17 am

Im Yirtzeh Hashem! Much nachas and mazel tov on her accomplishment!

amother

Amber

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 8:25 am

I feel like the context matters.
Is she saying this in casual convo? Is she saying this as a one up, is she saying this in jest?

nchr

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 8:53 am

You must be so proud of her!

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