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My daughter was dropped off alone
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amother




Beige


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:08 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
It’s common sense that the 9ne who is OBLIGATED, OBLIGATED (!) to be there early for any eventuality, is the parent! I understand your quite young and possibly op is too, and that’s why you both are shirking off a parent having more responsibility for their child than a negligent bus driver! What he did would be considered unprofessional, improper, etc., what the parent did is considered child neglect.


Absolutely not.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:11 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
And maybe G-d is so kind and good to be seNding you a message that “just one of those days” isn’t good enough an excuse for not being there for your child. Luckily He watched over her this time. It should be a valuable lesson.


Schools, camps and bus companies have procedures because things happen even to the best parent.

One day, my kids all had activities after school, so they were all taking the late bus home. One kid forgot. Or didn't want to go to the activity, who knows. In any case, it meant that this kid came home a full hour before expected. Procedures were in place, all was well.

Even the best parents sometimes have things come up. Or mess up. BUT THE BUS DRIVER IS SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW PROTOCOL. Even if the parent is wrong.
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:16 pm
amother [ Beige ] wrote:
Absolutely not.


So if you don’t believe me, try leaving your 3 y.o. Outside by themselves crying with no parent home and let’s see what a cop or ACS would do.
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tf




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:30 pm
amother [ Beige ] wrote:
She has no part in the driver doing the absolutely wrong thing - even if she was responsible for creating that circumstance.


So if both are wrong then is the solution to point fingers at the other?!
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amother




Purple


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:30 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
So if you don’t believe me, try leaving your 3 y.o. Outside by themselves crying with no parent home and let’s see what a cop or ACS would do.


This.
Ultimately, the child's safety and supervision is the parent's responsibility, and it's the parents job to prepare for every contingency. This includes being home at least fifteen minutes before the bus is expected, since everyone knows buses are not an exact science
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:31 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
So if you don’t believe me, try leaving your 3 y.o. Outside by themselves crying with no parent home and let’s see what a cop or ACS would do.


What do you think ACS would do when:

(1) The bus was very early, without notice, but the parent was there at the earliest time expected;

(2) The parent was aware that there is a protocol in place for instances where no one was at the bus stop, but the bus wholly failed to follow the procedure.
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amother




Green


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:35 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
You seem to still not get it, being just “on time exactly” is not adequate! You have to accept your part of this, or else you will not see fit to change your routine so this never happens again! You can’t rely on strangers to do the right thing by your child, whether it’s their job or not. People can’t be relied on when it comes to your child, only you must be the responsible one! Getting there on time is not enough, you must be there early for any eventuality. I always pick up my kid early, not on time.


And you also don’t seem to get the fact that regardless of what the mother has done it is completely irresponsible for the driver to drop off the child unsupervised. No one is arguing to the contrary that the op should be home a bit earlier than the usual drop off time in case a scenario like this happens. But to leave a child at that age alone on an empty street is inexcusable on every level.
Why can’t I rely on the driver that on the rare occasion when something kept me from being home in a timely manner (note: emphasis on rare) the driver will know that the child needs to go back to the school and I should be contacted? Is that so much to ask for?
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:38 pm
It is quite difficult to get good bus drivers. It's not a high paying job.

Ideally there are systems in place but I would never ever rely on a bus driver.
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amother




Beige


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:55 pm
tf wrote:
So if both are wrong then is the solution to point fingers at the other?!


No. The mother was perhaps irresponsible. The driver was just wrong. He was the one directly responsible for the child until she was passed off to another responsible adult.
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amother




Beige


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:56 pm
amother [ Purple ] wrote:
This.
Ultimately, the child's safety and supervision is the parent's responsibility, and it's the parents job to prepare for every contingency. This includes being home at least fifteen minutes before the bus is expected, since everyone knows buses are not an exact science


A bus driver dropping off a three year old unattended is not a contingency any parent should need to plan for - since it should not happen under any circumstance.

Despite this - it is a parents responsibility to be home to meet her child, or find someone else to be home.

I've been a few minutes late to pick up my child from daycare. I felt horrible. I gave the morah a big thank-you for staying late, followed up with a giftcard. I acknowledged I should leave work a bit earlier to account for slow transportation.... but never in my wildest dreams did I think the morah would move my child to the street and walk away.
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amother




Beige


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 6:02 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
So if you don’t believe me, try leaving your 3 y.o. Outside by themselves crying with no parent home and let’s see what a cop or ACS would do.


I didn't leave my child - the bus driver did.
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amother




Sienna


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 6:04 pm
Maybe op should clarify exactly how early the bus came. Was it 5 minutes or 25? Does she always meet her daughter right where the bus stops, or does she stand at the doorway of her home or half a block away? Because if it's the latter, I can see how'd the bus driver might've seen a woman standing around, and since he isn't used to seeing her close up, mistaken her for the mother. Before crucifying the driver, make sure of these facts.

In any case, op, certainly check in with the camp to make sure this doesn't happen again. And from now on, you know to be ready at an earlier time.
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amother




Salmon


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 6:15 pm
please set up a contingency plan at your home with a neighbor

I wouldn't want my three year old daughter riding back to camp on a bus alone with the bus driver either
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amother




Beige


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 6:18 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
And maybe G-d is so kind and good to be seNding you a message that “just one of those days” isn’t good enough an excuse for not being there for your child. Luckily He watched over her this time. It should be a valuable lesson.


Had OP not been there - even if the bus was running on time - because she was Chas Veshalom in a car accident... then what? Driver does the right thing dropping a 3 year old unattended??
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 6:19 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
It’s common sense that the 9ne who is OBLIGATED, OBLIGATED (!) to be there early for any eventuality, is the parent! I understand your quite young and possibly op is too, and that’s why you both are shirking off a parent having more responsibility for their child than a negligent bus driver! What he did would be considered unprofessional, improper, etc., what the parent did is considered child neglect.


I have no idea how you know my age, but I understand your most likely not that bright. Morally and legally the bus driver cannot leave a three year old alone. Whether or not the Mom was neglectful is debatable but that is entirely besides the point!

The bus driver cannot leave a baby alone NO MATTER WHAT!

What if the mom was late because she was in a car accident? What if she was killed? Or what if she’s just an irresponsible mom?

It doesn’t matter!!!!

The bus driver is responsible for the safety of the children on his bus until they are safely handed over to a responsible adult that has been entrusted with the care of that child. And it’s laughable that you think being late for your child’s bus is considered child neglect. Ironically, this Mom wasn’t even late.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 6:24 pm
tf wrote:
So if both are wrong then is the solution to point fingers at the other?!


Don’t you see a difference?

(Let’s say) what the mom did was wrong. What the bus driver did was criminal and dangerous!!!

What is wrong with people? Scratching Head
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amother




Green


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 6:33 pm
mommy3b2c wrote:
Don’t you see a difference?

(Let’s say) what the mom did was wrong. What the bus driver did was criminal and dangerous!!!

What is wrong with people? Scratching Head


My thoughts exactly. Maybe it’s the heat?

Ftr, I live in Brooklyn on a heavily populated block with lots of families and young children. The vast majority of drivers check to make sure before letting a child off the bus that someone has assured him they are responsible for said child.
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amother




Salmon


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 6:39 pm
Did you find out what is the camp/ is protocol?
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ddmom




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 6:40 pm
I hope that ppl that are so negatively judgmental of O.P never find themselves in a situation where they have to be judged.
Sad. Sad
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oliveoil




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 7:03 pm
mommy3b2c wrote:
Don’t you see a difference?

(Let’s say) what the mom did was wrong. What the bus driver did was criminal and dangerous!!!

What is wrong with people? Scratching Head


so very, very much.


Last edited by oliveoil on Fri, Jul 12 2019, 7:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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