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My daughter was dropped off alone
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amother




Gray


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 7:29 am
There are often threads on imamother which women start looking for advice and sympathy from fellow mothers and then after a few brutal offhand replies wonder "why the hell did I ask these women their opinion???"





This is most possibly one of them.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 7:30 am
This year my three year old was mistakenly taken to my old house by a substitute bus driver. I’m never home for him because he gets taken to the babysitter, so I didn’t even realize he wasn’t home until around 30 minutes after he usually gets home. When the babysitter called me I didn’t panic right away but tried to call the usual bus driver who didn’t pick up. I then called the school who said he may be running late because it’s a substitute driver. A minute later I see my old neighbor calling me and decide to pick up for some reason. She says “there is a man ringing your old doorbell with your son standing next to him, what’s going on??” I freaked out and said please take my son into your house, I’ll be there in a few minutes.

Imagine the bus driver had decided to leave my baby outside to TEACH ME A LESSON??!!!

What is wrong with so many of you posters?? Little children don’t deserve to have their lives endangered no matter how irresponsible their parents are.
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amother




Red


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 8:10 am
I also think this is unfair to OP. She said the bus was early, and even if her not being there was a chronic issue, there is absolutely zero excuse. Zero. And even if the bus driver maybe thought the other lady was meant to take the kid, still not ok. The bus company that works with my kids' school has a rule that if not the parent, it has to be an authorized adult. Both me and my neighbor listed each other as authorized adults so that if one of us needs the other to take our own kids, that can be done. Without that authorization, kids would be taken back to school even if the neighbor is standing right their taking her own kids.

And yes, it's not fair to the school/camp to be saddled with extra babysitting, but you just don't endanger a child's safety! Want to punish the parents? Charge them money when kids are sent back. If even that's not enough to curb the behavior, suspend the child from the bus.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 8:38 am
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
They should just do what we do in Israel in the nurseries/ganim - the parents get charged money for every single minute they are late.

There should be a charge for every minute and an additional charge for taking a child back to the school building. Whoever is forced to watch the child receives the money.


Perhaps you can suggest this to the camp.
It's better than dropping off kids with no one to look after them.
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 9:01 am
The bus driver was wrong and needs a talking to. I'm speaking as a former bus monitor.

2 times, this happened last year. It is now early july and happened once. You now know it's a possibility.


I do think you're in a bit of denial. Routes change, kids are absent and their stops get skipped.

You need to account for a possibly earlier time. I know it's inconvenient. It is the reality.
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amother




Mustard


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 9:09 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
This year my three year old was mistakenly taken to my old house by a substitute bus driver. I’m never home for him because he gets taken to the babysitter, so I didn’t even realize he wasn’t home until around 30 minutes after he usually gets home. When the babysitter called me I didn’t panic right away but tried to call the usual bus driver who didn’t pick up. I then called the school who said he may be running late because it’s a substitute driver. A minute later I see my old neighbor calling me and decide to pick up for some reason. She says “there is a man ringing your old doorbell with your son standing next to him, what’s going on??” I freaked out and said please take my son into your house, I’ll be there in a few minutes.

Imagine the bus driver had decided to leave my baby outside to TEACH ME A LESSON??!!!

What is wrong with so many of you posters?? Little children don’t deserve to have their lives endangered no matter how irresponsible their parents are.



Since the bus driver is not here to defend himself, we are all assuming the worst. That he left a 3 year old alone in the street in an attempt to teach the mother a lesson. This is a worst case and frankly unlikely scenario. He would have to be a vile and evil human being to do this. If he really did this intentionally he'd lose his job and possibly worse. Most likely his side of the story would be that he saw an adult right there and mistakenly thought it was the parent or someone responsible for the child. It was an accident.

My motto is that when I'm having a dispute with someone I need to be close to 100% in the right. I don't like arguing when I screw up but you screwed up even worse than I did so your at fault. That's what the op is doing. She's been late for the bus (albeit with excuses) several times. That's a screw up. Now she has a tayna on the bus driver that even though she messed up, he messed up even worse. I hate those arguments. Be responsible and make sure your home for your kid. Especially a 3 year old. So yes, the bus driver messed up, but the mom triggered this mess by being late a little to often.
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creditcards




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 9:10 am
My son was dropped off by himself yesterday. 4 and half. A neighbor took him in. I was actually very happy they didn't take him back to school. The first few minutes I freaked out because I couldn't find him. But I made sure to tell the bus company that it's OK and I'm sure he is fine when I was looking for him because I hate when they take my kids back to school. I don't drive. And really I'm not worried because I always have at least a few neighbors waiting outside. My driver tried being nice so he dropped him off at the house. But 3 years old may be a bit too young.
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happymom123




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 9:25 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
This year my three year old was mistakenly taken to my old house by a substitute bus driver. I’m never home for him because he gets taken to the babysitter, so I didn’t even realize he wasn’t home until around 30 minutes after he usually gets home. When the babysitter called me I didn’t panic right away but tried to call the usual bus driver who didn’t pick up. I then called the school who said he may be running late because it’s a substitute driver. A minute later I see my old neighbor calling me and decide to pick up for some reason. She says “there is a man ringing your old doorbell with your son standing next to him, what’s going on??” I freaked out and said please take my son into your house, I’ll be there in a few minutes.

Imagine the bus driver had decided to leave my baby outside to TEACH ME A LESSON??!!!

What is wrong with so many of you posters?? Little children don’t deserve to have their lives endangered no matter how irresponsible their parents are.


Oh my goodness that is terrifying! I can't imagine what a disaster it would be if he dropped your son off alone.
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Laiya




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 9:26 am
This whole thread is horrifying. Whether or not OP was responsible is completely irrelevant. The bus driver, and ultimately the camp, are responsible for making sure a young child is not left outside alone.

OP, if the camp doesn't address this properly now, to make sure it never happens again, I may consider switching camps or pulling her out. This isn't something you can risk.
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Laiya




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 9:29 am
creditcards wrote:
My son was dropped off by himself yesterday. 4 and half. A neighbor took him in. I was actually very happy they didn't take him back to school. The first few minutes I freaked out because I couldn't find him. But I made sure to tell the bus company that it's OK and I'm sure he is fine when I was looking for him because I hate when they take my kids back to school. I don't drive. And really I'm not worried because I always have at least a few neighbors waiting outside. My driver tried being nice so he dropped him off at the house. But 3 years old may be a bit too young.


Unless you told the driver ahead of time that these particular neighbors should take you dc if you're not there, this was extremely negligent on the part of the bus driver.
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creditcards




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 9:34 am
Laiya wrote:
Unless you told the driver ahead of time that these particular neighbors should take you dc if you're not there, this was extremely negligent on the part of the bus driver.


I understand that. That's why when I was talking to the bus company I made sure to talk nicely and hoped the drivers boss will not yell at him because for me it was actually a favor and I want him to do the same thing next time it happens.
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keym




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 9:37 am
I'd like to point something out.
Drivers and bus companies are under tremendous pressure to get to the next route on time.
The driver was wrong. He should have brought the kid back to the school or if no one's at the school anymore, then a safe pre agreed upon place.
But he was probably stressed about getting to the next route late, being yelled at by the next camp or school, and being yelled at by each parent when he drops off 20-30 minutes late.
And some schools and parents will then yell at the bus company threatening, etc.
I know this first hand.
Takeaway here- to be a little patient. If your kids bus comes 30 minutes late, there is no reason to yell, to freak, to complain-even if it happens more than once. And the same for schools, camp, counselors, etc. You don't want to be pressuring the driver to make a very bad decision by your pressure to not take a detour, to be on time.
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Amalia




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 9:50 am
Laiya wrote:
This whole thread is horrifying. Whether or not OP was responsible is completely irrelevant. The bus driver, and ultimately the camp, are responsible for making sure a young child is not left outside alone.

OP, if the camp doesn't address this properly now, to make sure it never happens again, I may consider switching camps or pulling her out. This isn't something you can risk.


This.

And thank you to the wife of an experienced and mentchlich bus driver who took the time to write a long message with rules of what should be done in different situations that can happen in the course of a regular day.

It’s very disturbing and off-putting to me when the posters turn against the OP of a thread and start dissecting her post and blaming and sometimes outright attacking her.
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Amalia




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 9:53 am
ectomorph wrote:
The bus driver was wrong and needs a talking to. I'm speaking as a former bus monitor.

2 times, this happened last year. It is now early july and happened once. You now know it's a possibility.


I do think you're in a bit of denial. Routes change, kids are absent and their stops get skipped.

You need to account for a possibly earlier time. I know it's inconvenient. It is the reality.


The mother is “in a bit of denial”, and the bus driver is “probably hot and tired”?
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Laiya




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 10:07 am
creditcards wrote:
I understand that. That's why when I was talking to the bus company I made sure to talk nicely and hoped the drivers boss will not yell at him because for me it was actually a favor and I want him to do the same thing next time it happens.


You want the driver to leave him on the street, alone? Or to have the bus monitor knock on the neighbor's door? Any neighbor? What if, for some reason, none of the neighbors are home? I would be very concerned about this particular bus driver's ability to be responsible and make good decisions. He took a huge risk with your ds's safety and bh it ended fine.
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sub




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 10:13 am
Ask your schools/ camps if they have tracking capabilities. It is a big help.

Children should NEVER step off the bus unless an adult is waiting for them. (They can fall, or trip or have a strap caught etc. it’s not only about mom being home or not) The teacher can call mom, if she is not reachable or there is no teacher, the driver can try at the end of the route before bringing the child back to school.

That’s it.
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amother




Oak


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 10:13 am
amother [ Coral ] wrote:
Factor in distance from school (without traffic), for a more realistic time - someone who lives a half hour drive from the school shouldn't need to be waiting at home as early as someone who lives around the corner.

1 - Most people don't live half hour driving distance without traffic from school.
2- Dismissal isn't always punctual either. Teachers let the kids out between 2 and 15 minutes before dismissal. Getting everyone lined up and onto the busses takes time. The aim is for the busses to leave at exactly 4:00 (or whatever time the end of the day is for those age kids), but sometimes, they could be ready to leave at 3:57, and that's ok too.

My number of two minutes is if you live anywhere within 5 minutes from school. But if someone does live farther, they should estimate to be home a good 5 minutes BEFORE the amount of time it takes to drive from school to their house WITHOUT traffic.
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chestnut




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 10:17 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I see everyone is up in arms about last year. She went back to day camp because the bus teacher called to let me know they were early, I said I won't make it so they took her back.

Today I arrived at my house at the earliest time the bus had come this season, and she had been there for a while already. I am not blaming the day camp, or the bus driver or teacher... I am simply freaking out over all the could'ves.


Wait, there was a bus monitor there? You should probably speak to her, finding out why they left your daughter there.
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amother




Oak


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 10:22 am
chestnut wrote:
Wait, there was a bus monitor there? You should probably speak to her, finding out why they left your daughter there.

If there was a bus monitor in OP's situation, there is NO valid reason for this to have happened.

Without a bus monitor, it's harder for the driver, who legally cannot leave his seat while there are kids on the bus, to see what's going on at the door and then we can be dan l'kaf zechus, though OP should still investigate how this happened.
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amother




Salmon


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 10:26 am
Please make sure you or a responsible adult is home early you cannot cut it close bus routes are not exact timing- please talk to you children about what to do if no one is home- please talk to the camp/bus about what to do in case of such an emergency- and it should be an emergency that will not happen barring like a car accident r”l.
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