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My daughter was dropped off alone
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amother




Puce


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 10:42 am
Often the bus monitors in daycamp are young high school girls that are just doing what they're told to do.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 10:47 am
I think OP is completely innocent. OP was ON TIME, and does not deserve to be attacked like this. Don't any of you remember what it was like when your kids were 3? Have you no sympathy at all? The only thing I would do differently, is to have a neighbor as a backup plan in case OP is late getting home.

Remember, OP was not late. The bus was EARLY. That means that the driver was not under pressure to complete his schedule, and it wouldn't have killed him to wait a minute and see if anyone opened the door and the kid went inside. He wouldn't even have to get out of the bus until he saw for sure that no one was home.

There is no excuse for not having a monitor on a bus full of 3 year olds. Even a teen can walk a kid to the door, or the neighbor's if needed.

Who cares if the driver was hot and thirsty? How do you think the 3 year old felt? It's much more dangerous for them to sit outside without water, especially if they are already hysterical and freaking out.

What if there was no nice lady to come along, but instead some creepy guy neighbor who was more than happy to take the little girl back to his house? How well do we really know anyone behind closed doors?

A 5 or 6 year old can be trusted with a house key on a lanyard around their neck, or pinned to their clothes. A 3 year old in a panic could probably not even figure out the lock. (Even so, a 5 or 6 year old should not be left alone, either. I just used that as an example.)

This all hits really close to home for me, because I am currently getting paid to pick up a 3yo from gan and bring her home. Her mom has trouble with time management, and sometimes does not feel well, especially in the heat. This little girl is such a baby, and when upset she can't find her words. All she can do is cry, so she can't even say what is wrong or what she wants.

I can't even imagine her being left alone, the very thought breaks my heart, and she's not even my own child!
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JustAFrumMom




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 10:50 am
I'm going to be very harsh here. If my daughter was dropped off alone, someone should be yelled at very thoroughly and it should never happen again. My daughter is 8. This was a 3 year old girl. Someone should be fired. Period.
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amother




OP


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 11:03 am
amother [ Mustard ] wrote:
Since the bus driver is not here to defend himself, we are all assuming the worst. That he left a 3 year old alone in the street in an attempt to teach the mother a lesson. This is a worst case and frankly unlikely scenario. He would have to be a vile and evil human being to do this. If he really did this intentionally he'd lose his job and possibly worse. Most likely his side of the story would be that he saw an adult right there and mistakenly thought it was the parent or someone responsible for the child. It was an accident.

My motto is that when I'm having a dispute with someone I need to be close to 100% in the right. I don't like arguing when I screw up but you screwed up even worse than I did so your at fault. That's what the op is doing. She's been late for the bus (albeit with excuses) several times. That's a screw up. Now she has a tayna on the bus driver that even though she messed up, he messed up even worse. I hate those arguments. Be responsible and make sure your home for your kid. Especially a 3 year old. So yes, the bus driver messed up, but the mom triggered this mess by being late a little to often.


Why are you insisting I was late? If the driver is early that makes me late? I was there at the EARLIEST time he had ever arrived before then.
A little girl was dropped off on a pretty deserted street with TWO construction sites within 5 houses on either side.

Also, this driver is contracted by the camp.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 11:10 am
amother [ Mustard ] wrote:
Since the bus driver is not here to defend himself, we are all assuming the worst. That he left a 3 year old alone in the street in an attempt to teach the mother a lesson. This is a worst case and frankly unlikely scenario. He would have to be a vile and evil human being to do this. If he really did this intentionally he'd lose his job and possibly worse. Most likely his side of the story would be that he saw an adult right there and mistakenly thought it was the parent or someone responsible for the child. It was an accident. Really? You'd be OK with your 3 year old being handed off to any random stranger?

My motto is that when I'm having a dispute with someone I need to be close to 100% in the right. I don't like arguing when I screw up but you screwed up even worse than I did so your at fault. That's what the op is doing. She's been late for the bus (albeit with excuses) several times. Two times, one year ago, possibly not even the same bus driver. Two is not "several". She was ON TIME, the bus was EARLY, and she is obviously making the effort to not make the same mistake she made last year.

That's a screw up. Now she has a tayna on the bus driver that even though she messed up, he messed up even worse. I hate those arguments. Be responsible and make sure your home for your kid. Especially a 3 year old. So yes, the bus driver messed up, but the mom triggered this mess by being late a little to often.
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 11:24 am
Amalia wrote:
The mother is “in a bit of denial”, and the bus driver is “probably hot and tired”?

I completely agree that the bus driver should be yelled at and may be fired.


The mother should also account for the possibility that the bus sometimes comes early and be prepared. It is early july and this happened 2x last year.
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amother




Firebrick


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 11:31 am
Yes, a driver should NEVER drop off a child alone. But how much blame the mom carries depends on how she defines "the bus was early." What does that mean? 5 minutes early? 10 minutes early? 20 minutes early?
If the bus was 5-12 minutes early, she really can't be calling the day camp with the amount of hysteria expressed by some of the posters here, even though her complaint is still legitimate.
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cm




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 11:35 am
It's not ok to drop off a child without supervision or to any adult not on the approved list. It shouldn't be up to the driver to "teach a lesson" to any adult; it is up to the camp/school director (and possibly the bus company) to set a policy and communicate it to the parents. It is the driver's and parents' responsibility to follow it.

For example: First time - return child to camp/school and contact parent or emergency person for pickup. It's quite ok to charge a fee to compensate the staff for their time. Second time - same as above, plus discontinuing busing for that child.

Parents need to do their part. Bus schedules are by their nature a bit fluid. Be early, and be prepared to wait.
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 11:38 am
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
Yes, a driver should NEVER drop off a child alone. But how much blame the mom carries depends on how she defines "the bus was early." What does that mean? 5 minutes early? 10 minutes early? 20 minutes early?
If the bus was 5-12 minutes early, she really can't be calling the day camp with the amount of hysteria expressed by some of the posters here, even though her complaint is still legitimate.

Exactly
There are some mothers who don't show up and then act like its the bus drivers fault for not waiting. They delay the whole route.
.
And the bus can come early. The driver was wrong But so is the mom for not accounting for it. It happened 2x last year. It's not like she's unaware of the possibility.

Also, consider that last year she made the monitor and bus driver go overtime TWICE. A bunch of people couldnt go home to their own families because of her behavior.

Op, I'm sure you're a lovely person, but you need to be a bit earlier, thats all
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amother




Puce


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 11:42 am
JustAFrumMom, many 8 year olds are dropped off alone. Not all parents wait with an 8 year old for the bus. An 8 year old can let herself into the house alone and call you.
(If your daughter can't, please teach her to.)
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Laiya




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 12:56 pm
ectomorph wrote:
Exactly
There are some mothers who don't show up and then act like its the bus drivers fault for not waiting. They delay the whole route.
.
And the bus can come early. The driver was wrong But so is the mom for not accounting for it. It happened 2x last year. It's not like she's unaware of the possibility.

Also, consider that last year she made the monitor and bus driver go overtime TWICE. A bunch of people couldnt go home to their own families because of her behavior.

Op, I'm sure you're a lovely person, but you need to be a bit earlier, thats all


Nothing the mother did is relevant. Few things in life are black and white; not leaving a 3 year old outside alone on a doorstep, is one of them.

If your point is that she was inconsiderate, maybe, maybe not, but still irrelevant to the bus driver's responsibility.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 1:04 pm
Laiya wrote:
Nothing the mother did is relevant. Few things in life are black and white; not leaving a 3 year old outside alone on a doorstep, is one of them.

If your point is that she was inconsiderate, maybe, maybe not, but still irrelevant to the bus driver's responsibility.


Correct.

The mother might have been completely and utterly right. The mother might have been completely and utterly wrong. Don't know. Don't care. Its irresponsible and negligent to drop off a 3 year-old without an adult there to look after her. That's the only issue here.

I don't care if the bus driver was fed up with her (although why s/he would be, I don't have a clue), or tired, or needed to get home to her kids, or needed the bathroom. Doesn't matter. Its irresponsible and negligent to drop off a 3 year-old without an adult there to look after her.

Lather, rinse, repeat (does ANYONE really "repeat"?). That's all there is to it.
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amother




Green


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 1:19 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
Correct.

The mother might have been completely and utterly right. The mother might have been completely and utterly wrong. Don't know. Don't care. Its irresponsible and negligent to drop off a 3 year-old without an adult there to look after her. That's the only issue here.

I don't care if the bus driver was fed up with her (although why s/he would be, I don't have a clue), or tired, or needed to get home to her kids, or needed the bathroom. Doesn't matter. Its irresponsible and negligent to drop off a 3 year-old without an adult there to look after her.

Lather, rinse, repeat (does ANYONE really "repeat"?). That's all there is to it.


Absolutely. The mother could be late a hundred times and then it’s up to the school to inform her she can’t be on the bus or whatever consequence they want to come up.

My street is deserted too right now with huge construction sites all around. I shudder, shudder to think what can happen with a child being left out here alone.

I’m remembering a certain story that happened exactly 8 yrs ago, and for anyone to even remotely condone this drivers action is beyond me. The school can find a way to deal with an irresponsible mother without putting a small child’s life in danger...
Lather, rinse, repeat!
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 2:27 pm
Laiya wrote:
Nothing the mother did is relevant. Few things in life are black and white; not leaving a 3 year old outside alone on a doorstep, is one of them.

If your point is that she was inconsiderate, maybe, maybe not, but still irrelevant to the bus driver's responsibility.


This.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 2:27 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
Correct.

The mother might have been completely and utterly right. The mother might have been completely and utterly wrong. Don't know. Don't care. Its irresponsible and negligent to drop off a 3 year-old without an adult there to look after her. That's the only issue here.

I don't care if the bus driver was fed up with her (although why s/he would be, I don't have a clue), or tired, or needed to get home to her kids, or needed the bathroom. Doesn't matter. Its irresponsible and negligent to drop off a 3 year-old without an adult there to look after her.

Lather, rinse, repeat (does ANYONE really "repeat"?). That's all there is to it.


And this.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 2:28 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
Absolutely. The mother could be late a hundred times and then it’s up to the school to inform her she can’t be on the bus or whatever consequence they want to come up.

My street is deserted too right now with huge construction sites all around. I shudder, shudder to think what can happen with a child being left out here alone.

I’m remembering a certain story that happened exactly 8 yrs ago, and for anyone to even remotely condone this drivers action is beyond me. The school can find a way to deal with an irresponsible mother without putting a small child’s life in danger...
Lather, rinse, repeat!


And this!

How anyone can think differently is shocking!
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sub




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 2:36 pm
It does not matter where the mother was - discuss that on another thread. The main point here is that the child was let off without any supervision. I repeat children should NOT STEP OFF THE BUS unless there is an adult visibly waiting at the curb or steps of house. An adult the child recognizes.
The driver should be reprimanded and the day camp directors should emphasize this to all staff members.
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amother




Puce


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 2:38 pm
Right, most schools policy is that they don't let pre school kids off unless someone is waiting.
OP should find out what happened and get the matter taken care of.
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 2:54 pm
No one condoned the driver behavior. I said he should be fired.

But the mom also clearly has a habit of cutting it close. She should be more considerate. I was a bus monitor. 99% of parents were there every day no matter when we showed up, because they have common sense that sometimes schedules change.

I'm not saying the mom is at fault. But what if next time a family friend is passing by and the driver thinks it's the mother and drives away. You need to be a bit earlier than the exact time if you don't want to end up in this situation. And EVERYONE else was ready to pick up their kid.

Everyone is jumping on the driver and I agree what he did was awful. But for the safety of the kid, the mom needs to develop some common sense.
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amother




OP


Post  Fri, Jul 12 2019, 3:18 pm
You're 100% right. I shouldn't be cutting it so close, and I usually don't. I'm usually home a half hour before the bus. Yesterday was just one of those days.
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