At Risk Cheder | Imamother

amother

Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:55 am

I know a family in Jerusalem with a boy in cheder in need of a very different environment. He seems to have gravitated toward a very bad group of kids. The thing is, they're worried he'll find such kids wherever he is. Is there any option in Israel for such a child? He's still "on the derech," but they're very worried about him both spiritually and physically. I know there are yeshivas for teenagers like this, but is there anything at a younger age?

byisrael

Fri, Jul 12 2019, 6:37 am

There are so many details involved in this sort of situation that it is hard to give info on an online site. I work with kids like this (I don't want to give details) and there is so much that could be going on - the parents are correct that just switching a school won't solve the problem.

I would advise contacting an organization such as Yedidim, Kav Lanoar, or Chesed V'echaim and get a referral to someone who helps people in this situation.

What is important is to figure out what is making him gravitate to a bad crowd/ behaviors at 10 years old.
Is he struggeling academically? There are a whole bunch of schools who address that at different levels (Limudei Hashem, Darchei Hatorah, Netivot Shlomo)

Is this ODD/ un-diagnosed ADHD? Then in addition to a new start he needs a therapist and the parents need a professional to guide them.

Is he just trying to be "cool" - he might need a "cooler" school (like Dibros Moshe) and maybe the parents need guidance in what standards to bend and what standards are non negotiable.

Is this a situation where the parents never parented with boundaries (supper common nowadays) and now the kid is just acting out 'cause he never learnt better?

Is this a kid who struggled socially and this cool crowd are the only ones who are accepting of him? This can be helped with a good therapist?

Is there underlying dysfunction in the family? Extreme financial struggles, shalom bayis issues, ect.? This may need more serious intervention....

hatzlacha