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Mishpacha wedding gown serial- realistic?

 
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 1:26 pm
Anyone reading the serial about the lady who owns a wedding gown store and her sister who works there? The sister('s husband?) is part of a committee making takanos which people have to abide by to get an interest-free loan. The amount mentioned is $40k PER SIDE.

Is 80k really a budget wedding?? Is this happening?? I got married OOT and my wedding cost 10k. Would've been cheaper in Israel or NY, we were told. There are "packages" there, we were told. Is this for real?

Anon b/c talking about this IRL...
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 1:28 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Anyone reading the serial about the lady who owns a wedding gown store and her sister who works there? The sister('s husband?) is part of a committee making takanos which people have to abide by to get an interest-free loan. The amount mentioned is $40k PER SIDE.

Is 80k really a budget wedding?? Is this happening?? I got married OOT and my wedding cost 10k. Would've been cheaper in Israel or NY, we were told. There are "packages" there, we were told. Is this for real?

Anon b/c talking about this IRL...


Maybe OOT costs are higher, but in Lakewood a takanah wedding cost a little over $10,000. There are other costs involved tough - shevah brochos, gowns, basic furniture, shaitels...
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Mama Bear




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 2:25 pm
$40K isnt for the wedding night alone, but for all expenses of marrying off a child. Gown, clothing, gifts, setting up the new apt, etc.
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amother




Brown


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 3:54 pm
Out of town, my sis is engaged. Doing 60k per side and my sis still feels like her wedding will be nothing compared to her friends weddings in NY. So yes, 40k per side is most def happening.
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amother




Blonde


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 4:42 pm
Wow. OOT and there's a new package for $16,000. I hope it takes off.
Not chassidish so no 50/50 splitting costs. I still can't figure out how it gets to 80K for a takana package either.
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Rappel




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 5:04 pm
I'm pretty sure that's a fairytale number.
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 7:25 pm
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
Out of town, my sis is engaged. Doing 60k per side and my sis still feels like her wedding will be nothing compared to her friends weddings in NY. So yes, 40k per side is most def happening.


I mean, I am sure that for wealthy people that and more is happening. But this is the standard? That we are trying to keep people DOWN to (suggesting that most are spending much more)? That people are going into debt for?
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 9:49 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I mean, I am sure that for wealthy people that and more is happening. But this is the standard? That we are trying to keep people DOWN to (suggesting that most are spending much more)? That people are going into debt for?


No. This is definitely not the standard. I’m not saying nobody spends 40K. I’m saying 40K per side is generous. I was surprised to see that in the Mishpacha serial as an amount for a takanah wedding. First I thought it was a typo. Then I thought it made as much sense as a lot of their writing.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 11:41 pm
I don't think those numbers make sense. We applied for help when our child got married and were told that they would only help us the wedding and all wedding related expenses were under $18,000. In the end we did not get the help because we went slightly over.
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amother




Amber


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 11:51 pm
Ok, how are people making weddings for 10k? In 2019?

I am all for small and simple but costs seem to just add up tremendously.
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pause




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 11:55 pm
Mama Bear wrote:
$40K isnt for the wedding night alone, but for all expenses of marrying off a child. Gown, clothing, gifts, setting up the new apt, etc.

This: furniture, linen, housewares, jewelry gifts, chassan's seforim and Judaica. Plus the wedding night expenses.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sun, Jul 14 2019, 11:56 pm
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
Ok, how are people making weddings for 10k? In 2019?

I am all for small and simple but costs seem to just add up tremendously.


Just the wedding, you can get that in a takanah hall. You don't have options but you can still have a nice number of guests and the hall is nice.
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amother




Jade


Post  Mon, Jul 15 2019, 12:06 am
I think some of their writers are simply out of touch. Either they don't live in the U.S. or they are writing about stages of life they either went through long ago, or haven't reached yet.
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amother




Brown


Post  Mon, Jul 15 2019, 11:39 am
amother [ Jade ] wrote:
I think some of their writers are simply out of touch. Either they don't live in the U.S. or they are writing about stages of life they either went through long ago, or haven't reached yet.


Th writer lives in NY, is very in touch, and is writing about the reality within her own community.
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amother




Khaki


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 3:22 pm
We did takana wedding for about 10K even though (one) mechuten was very well to do and we said they can upgrade whatever they want.

Kallah's gown was from a gemach although once we were stuck & used a rental for maybe $600. (Siblings also from gemachs although if they mamash couldn't find I would use a rental for a few hundred for one kid who seemed to need it.) I bought my gown for under $100 for my second child (plus some alterations of course) & have worn it for every child's wedding since.

Housewares mainly through a fund which gives to poor kallahs, less poor like us, we pay wholesale which I believe was under $1000 for most of the kitchen/ small appliances, and then we paid a couple hundred (maybe it was $400?) for beds and dinette set.

Some of my couples found a used gorgeous bedroom set that some spoiled feinshmeker was selling when they moved from an apartment to a house after 6 or so years of marriage. Others got from a local used furniture place, although one couple her parents bought them new bedroom & dining room table & chairs I think.

So no, we didn't spend anywhere near that. But we're in chinuch and our kids were not brought up to need so much "gashmius".

I honestly feel bad for those who feel they have to keep up with other people's standards.
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 3:29 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Anyone reading the serial about the lady who owns a wedding gown store and her sister who works there? The sister('s husband?) is part of a committee making takanos which people have to abide by to get an interest-free loan. The amount mentioned is $40k PER SIDE.

Is 80k really a budget wedding?? Is this happening?? I got married OOT and my wedding cost 10k. Would've been cheaper in Israel or NY, we were told. There are "packages" there, we were told. Is this for real?

Anon b/c talking about this IRL...


I got married oot and expenses were way higher then ny or Lakewood. Any run down Hall was expensive. Caterers were a fortune. My wedding was simple. One man band, no flowers. Budget photographer. Compared to a much nicer wedding in Lakewood my parents would have saved 20k easily there and the wedding would have been so much nicer.
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