Should my kids share a room?

amother

Sun, Jul 14 2019, 9:34 pm

I'm wondering if my boys should share a room. They are 5 and 2. Currently 2 yo is in nursery, but looks like we will need the nursery for a little newcomer in a few months bH.
I have 5 rooms: master, nursery, big brother's, and 2 guest rooms. I'd like for the boys to share a room so that we can have guests without me having to switch linens etc. and because I don't want to spoil my kids. But I don't want to ruin their childhood... is having them room together a smart move? Or no?

Rachel Shira

Sun, Jul 14 2019, 9:46 pm

Since you have the space to play around with, I might leave them in separate rooms for now and in a year or so either move the two oldest together or put the baby in with the older one, depending on their personalities. I would be hesitant to mess with a 2 year old’s sleeping arrangements (assuming they work well) if I had another option. But you know your kids best. I don’t think having separate rooms spoils kids or that any of these decisions will ruin their childhood. B’shaa Tova!

amother

Orange

Sun, Jul 14 2019, 10:44 pm

Oh god, you're not ruining their childhood by not giving them their own rooms! For now when they're little, I'd put them together. Most little kids don't want to sleep alone, they feel more secure in a shared room.

amother

Sun, Jul 14 2019, 11:39 pm

pesek zman wrote:

You need 2 guest rooms?

I’d separate them and put one in a guest room

Our guests are usually family, and the families need two rooms (4 adults).

amother

Coral

Sun, Jul 14 2019, 11:48 pm

I have three kids 7,4 and 2 in one room, eventhough we could dedicate one guest rooms to tje kids. they dont want to they like sharing the room. we will see what will be later on, but for now it makes sense to keep the kids togeher and have a separate guets room (as we tend to host on regular basis)

why would this ruin their childhood????

dankbar

Sun, Jul 14 2019, 11:52 pm

A 2 yr old has a very different scedule than a five year old unless he goes out during day, if you have the room for it I would separate them. Once they are running on same schedule they are ok to sleep together

Kiwi13

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 12:33 am

I have my 2 boys in one room, and my daughter in her own room just because logistically it works best that way. At first I thought she was lucky for getting her own room, and maybe that'll be true one day, but my boys have a built-in friend in their room and she's all alone in hers. I'm a little sad for her at bedtime. I don't think there's a right or wrong for these things. Whatever works best for your family is what you should do. If you have the space to play around with it, go ahead and try it out. If you're thinking of putting them together at some point, you might want to try that first, since it'll probably be an easier adjustment schedule-wise to separate them if you need to, rather than the adjustment of trying to merge schedules later on.

amother

Babypink

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 5:30 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Where I live most people share a room with at least one siblings if not 2 or 3.
I think we all survived.

Optione

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 5:59 am

My kids get lonely when they sleep by themselves. My daughter who sleeps through the night came to my bed at 11pm last night that she woke up lonely

dankbar

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 7:03 am

My 2 boys closely spaced sleep together but night doesnt happen. I dont have the space to separate them. One keeps up till late, the other needs his sleep, but he is being kept up by his bro. He doesnt want to hear about switching back to other room, to change beds with his adult bro. These 2 are team in trouble

FranticFrummie

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 8:47 am

It all depends on whether they go to sleep nicely or not. If one or both of them have screaming tantrums when it's time for pajamas, then separate bedrooms will save your sanity.

Otherwise, a shared bedroom will not hurt them. I don't know a single child psychologist who will tell you that it's harmful. They will learn to respect each other's stuff, keep their mess on their side of the room, and to be quiet when the other one is asleep. These are all valuable lessons that they might not learn otherwise, or at least until much later in life.

My parents had plenty of room when I was growing up, but my sister and I shared a room until I turned 14. Even then, if my sister had a nightmare, she'd end up in my bed instead of going to our parents. (I had a big bed, and I didn't mind her coming in. It was sweet that she wanted me to comfort her.)

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 11:50 am

My 4 and 5 year old boys share a room with their 2 year old sister and it works fine.
The boys have a bunkbed, and I noticed that when we moved house before we built it back up being on the same 'level' meant that they stayed up really late annoying eachother and messing around. But B"H when they're in the bunks they can't really see eachother so they don't keep eachother up. 2 year old goes to bed before them and they know once they're in bed it's quiet time.
No problems with it. Most of my childhood I shared my room with one of my sisters and it's just normal.

amother

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 11:53 am

ra_mom wrote:

You can try it out with them together and if it doesn't work out you can transition one of the guest rooms.

Bingo. This is what I will do.

Metukah

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 1:00 pm

My parents have a 6 bedroom house, we were 4 sisters at home. For a large chunk of our childhood we slept in one room. Obviously not for lack of space. We chose that. I know 4 in a room in an empty house is exaggerated, but, I believe it to be better for a child to share than to sleep alone.

hodeez

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 1:06 pm

My 4, 3 and 18 month old kids sleep in one room, and they love it. I put them in at bed time, they play with each other for like 2 hours, then they konk out and sleep until morning. I'm very happy with the arrangement and that it brings my kids closer to each other.

Chayalle

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 2:54 pm

My big girls are 3 years apart, like your boys. They shared a room until my oldest was in high school and wanted/needed her space and privacy. It worked really well all those years, and they are really close sisters.

OP, like others have said, I would try it out. Unless there are issues with them getting along, or if they have different habits that make the rooming together situation difficult, I think that sharing a room with siblings is a very healthy way of growing up.

amother

Wine

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 3:04 pm

My girls are 2.5 years apart.
They used to cry/beg to sleep together, to the point that my older one would sleep on the floor of the nursery in a sleeping bag/nest of blankets.
When I took my younger one out of the crib at 21 months, I moved her to her sister's room. By the time my older one was in 4th grade, she wanted her own room so we moved her out into a spare. (While it was originally her room, she was the one who wanted her own and it didn't seem fair to move the younger who was perfectly happy to share).
Nothing needs to be permanent.
They may start together and you may separate them or they may start apart and you may need the space

amother

Pink

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 3:40 pm

Rooming arrangments can change. You can give it a try and if it doesn't work, go back to separate rooms and try again in a year. Sometimes them being on the same schedule makes sharing a room easier because you do bedtime together; sometimes that makes it harder because they keep each other up and it's better if the younger one has an earlier bedtime.