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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
OP
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 3:18 pm
Hi, all hard working moms! I am looking for a parenting guide. Dh was raised very dysfunctional and my upbringing was pretty poor too, however I learned from all my parents mistakes (although im sure I make others) while my dh seems to be doing what he knows and was raised with which is damaging.
He is in therapy for his issues and the therapist suggested Sara yaraslowitz hands up but I told him ive heard mixed reviews, maybe a more harsh approach?
Dhs approach is more harsh so I need an affective approach that isn't harsh.
Any recommendations for someone good preferably a cd over a book and id love to hear feedback on Sara Y.
Thanks!
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oneofakind
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 3:32 pm
Parenting by Design by Yisrael Kleinman.
Very organized method-should appeal to a man. A firm and friendly approach. Very practical.
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mfb
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 3:44 pm
If she didn’t change from years ago than her method is quite rigid.
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mha3484
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 4:16 pm
Maybe my kids are just really hard but I have gotten more out of non jewish parenting books like the whole brain child, no drama discipline, the explosive child/raising human beings.
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aricelli
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 4:19 pm
I recently took Blimie Hellers course and I love her approach- it is so gentle and it helps you look at your children - and all humans- in such an empathatic light. She does private coaching as well and although I never used that I can imagine it would be lovely and so helpful- from the way she answered my questions at the course
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amother
OP
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 4:40 pm
I really appreciate all the replies.
I dont care for a rigid approach I am a very loving and caring parent and my children are not hard, its more to give my dh proper tools.
I will research all suggestions here.
Regarding Bllimi Heller, where is she located? Does she have a book/cd?
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aricelli
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 4:44 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I really appreciate all the replies.
I dont care for a rigid approach I am a very loving and caring parent and my children are not hard, its more to give my dh proper tools.
I will research all suggestions here.
Regarding Bllimi Heller, where is she located? Does she have a book/cd? |
She’s somewhere in Jersey (maybe?) but she travels. You can check her out online. She has some podcasts maybe? I guess you can contact her and ask her if she has recordings: she is so sweet and friendly! I was extremely cynical going in! But I’m sold!
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amother
Floralwhite
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 5:45 pm
her giude is really good but first find out more information about her approach... there are so many new parenting classess... do some better homework..
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aricelli
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 5:58 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote: | her giude is really good but first find out more information about her approach... there are so many new parenting classess... do some better homework.. |
Whoa! What did you hear that you didnt like? Do you have someone you recommend more? And how is her “guide really good” but not really good?
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aricelli
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 6:14 pm
Truth is- its not a big investment: try one and if you dont appreciate it- stop! Any parenting expert you listen to- needs to speak to your heart. If you ever hear anything that doesnt resonate with you- thats ok. You dont must follow what they say. Doesnt mean that persons no good- her style may not be your own. We each have our own personality- and our own family dynamics. So I guess each person needs to find their own path. Good luck!
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amother
Orange
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 6:15 pm
Second vote for Blimie Heller!
@unconditionalparenting
She does not have a book but recommends a bunch of books on her Instagram page
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mommy201
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 6:26 pm
Hi OP, I’m 1 to second blimie hellers course/approach. I don’t know much about Sara Y specific hands on approach but I know friends and people that have read her book. They seemed to like it a lot. I skimmed through it.
With blimie’s approach it just made so much sense and was so truthful and really resonated and changed my perspective in basically all areas of life. With my children, with my husband and with dealing with other people. And I personally know others that also had huge changes.
After taking her course, I really feel like there is no better approach - it’s something you would realize once you take it as well. I just know when I stick to it which is more then anything else I’ve been able to stick to, I get an inborn sense that I am doing the right thing, what Hashem wants from me and everything else will be fine and is not in my control.
It’s hard to explain in detail how amazing it is, it’s something you need to experience .
Good luck!
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aricelli
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 7:04 pm
I can see why people wouldnt understand it. When we started we were all resisting. Some of us were raised with a tough love approach and this is gentle and humane and it can be hard to make such a shift- as she was going along it really started resonating. (My sons therapist had recommended her to me)
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behappy2
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 7:12 pm
Pm me for my opinion if you'd like
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amother
Turquoise
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 7:19 pm
SY's approach counts on the need for authority figures to be consistent. It's incredibly difficult to get the educators on board even when they say it is being implemented as instructed.
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amother
Blue
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 7:23 pm
mha3484 wrote: | Maybe my kids are just really hard but I have gotten more out of non jewish parenting books like the whole brain child, no drama discipline, the explosive child/raising human beings. | how to talk so kids will listen, autistic logistics
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amother
Puce
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 8:32 pm
I loved R’Spetner’s courses. She’s truly exceptional!!
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