Not responding to "Mazel Tov" texts

amother

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:26 pm

Just wondering cuz this happened more than once:

friend or neighbor (not so close) has a mazel tov such as a new baby. You take the time to wish them a mazel tov via text and they don't respond whatsoever. No thank you or anything.
I find it weird and not mentchlich. To me it's a given that if someone takes the time out of their day to wish you a mazel tov, a simple response like thank you would make sense. I know a new mother can be overwhelmed... but never responding at any point just feels cold.

singleagain

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:32 pm

Texts are not always designed to be answered.

Plus, I know in my phone, the text notification vanishes quickly. I just this morning when I got to work saw a text someone sent me sat night.

amother

Puce

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:34 pm

Poor Textiquette?

Don't let it phase you. You wished Mazel Tov because it was the right thing to do. Being acknowledged is nice - but its about the new mom - not you.

amother

Lemon

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:39 pm

She just shoved a human being out of her body. Shes being bombarded with texts and phone calls and organizing a bris or kiddush or finding a nurse. Shes also exhausted. She doesnt have to respond.
You did the right thing by wishing her mazel tov! Smile

rising hero

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:43 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Really? How much time does it take?
It doesnt take much to reply either but maybe they forgot to respond? Got distracted? Didnt see the message until much later? Or maybe they didnt get the message at all.
You should really try to not let it bother you.

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:44 pm

Not everyone is so attached to their phone. I don't always respond to texts or watsapp messages. If I notice a message and have time to respond then maybe I will.

amother

Black

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:44 pm

I had this twice recently. Found out after one women broke her pelvis during labor and one had emergency surgery for a hemotoma. Needless to say the expectations for any text back went out the window!

allthingsblue

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:47 pm

I was so annoyed when a relative called, left a message, then called back wanting to know why I hadn't yet returned her call. Um... im tired, in pain, busy breastfeeding and dealing with myriad things that come up...
Thank you for your Mazal tov wishes, but please don't expect me to respond. I'd rather you not text at all if you're going to force a response.

BatyaEsther

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:49 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I 100% agree, a person should respond, even just a TY 😊. But people don't always have great manners. Just be glad that you do and raise your children to be menschlich. It bothers me tremendously, but I have let go, because as I tell my children,sometimes you can either be right or you can be happy, but not both.
Keep being the menschlich, sweet, thoughtful person you are. Don't let others change you or bring you down. We need more people like you.

My4Jewels

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:55 pm

BatyaEsther wrote:

I think it’s a bit dramatic and judgmental to label a mom just post partum and not having good manners.

I think we need more people to stop judging and say hey she must be so overwhelmed I hope she gets some much needed rest.

nchr

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:57 pm

Not everyone responds to texts, especially mazal tov ones (since they could be inundated with 10s and 100s). If you want a response, you'd need to speak to her on the phone or in person, or send a gift.

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:58 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

I agree. I recall someone in my family wanted me to call some relatives after I had a baby to let them know the good news. I love these relatives but I was like come on I just had a baby can someone else make the calls!

singleagain

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 4:02 pm

Just say to say .. the same applies to someone who maybe just got engaged.... Or even, just had a birthday. Texts do not always require an acknowledgement. That's just the nature of the mode of communication.

Aylat

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 4:06 pm

To add to all the other valid points: sometimes I see a msg when I don't have time to respond to it. I plan to reply later, but in the meantime I get so many messages that it is way down the list and not on the phone screen. I don't see it and I just plain forget. Because I've already opened the message, the notification is gone and there's nothing to remind me.

agreer

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 4:12 pm

Wishing someone a mazel tov is to let them know you are thinking of them.

Wondering why they didn't respond is selfish.

Do you respond "You're welcome" to the "thank you" text? When does it end?

Just imagine... you sent a mazel tov text. The recipient saw it and felt touched. Isn't that enough?

rosezee

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 4:17 pm

BatyaEsther wrote:

I don’t find this response to be helpful to anyone here.
No one talked about raising they’re kids.. no need to put down someone else to raise someone else up.. and no need to assume such things.

The correct thing to do is to judge each favorably.
Not view someone as lesser than you to validate your own actions as correct or good...
I hope no one takes your response as good advice. Sorry just being honest...

happyone

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 5:00 pm

who says she has text? who says she had reception? what makes you think she is up to responding?
I remember having surgery several years ago, and getting about 50 texts the day after will well wishes. While I appreciated the thought I did not respond to any. As for a mazel tov wish? pick up the phone if she means anything you.