Forgetting children in cars

amother

Orchid

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 10:20 am

Rutabaga wrote:

I have a habit of checking the car seats even if I know I don't have any kids with me.

I've seen lots of ideas how to prevent a tragedy, starting with putting a left shoe or purse in the back of the car. There's also the giant stuffed animal idea, where you keep the animal in the car seat unless a child is in it and then you place the animal in the passenger seat. If you're sitting next to a giant panda or whatever then you know you have a child with you. There are also technologies that help remind parents. I saw this one recently and thought it was very smart: https://cleverelly.com/

I would buy that now. But a lot of their social media seems to have stopped in 2018 and I don’t see reviews online. Is it actually in production, does anyone own it? It’s such s smart idea!!!

amother

Orchid

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 10:43 am

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

That isn’t the point , and she didn’t say she was happy about it. Post may have been intended to show that it can happen .

The Washington post article mentions that it is human nature to distance yourself from the belief that it can happen. Or those that do it are evil.

A few times can mean over many years and many children and a single child in one year. It’s a big difference. Between the 2.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 10:48 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have a hard time understanding how a parent forgets a baby in the car. I don't mean to come off judgmental, I simply don't get it.

Have you ever forgotten your child in the car? How does such a thing happen?

I am generally not the type to forget things like this, but I have learned NEVER SAY NEVER. Especially at baby’s expense ! Saying it wouldn’t happen can be dangerous because then you may not have reminder system in place at an unexpected time you may need a reminder ...

I thought it would never happen to me. And then one day I had to run back and forth to my daughters school with a permission slip for a trip that she left on counter . At first my husband was going to watch my baby but then last minute he got a business call and asked that I take baby. I was running late to bring my daughters things and drove fast as I could within speed limit while on only total of 2 hours of sleep because of newborn. There were detours on the way and I was so discombobulated and stressed out about bringing my daughters permission slip because trip was really soon. I finally got to the school and dashed out of my car making a beeline to the school. I quickly turned to lock my car as I ran and in that second my heart dropped. I remembered that I had brought my baby and almost left in the car. Since then I have implemented precautions. And I am still traumatized.

And everyone I told barely believed me and because I am always “so down to earth and have it together and never forget anything “

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 10:49 am

I left a 10 year old in the car. She was sleeping. I had assumed she left the car along with everyone else. It was summer, but late at night and not unbearably hot. Had she woken up she could have gotten out of the car herself.

Still I realized it can happen to anyone.

zaq

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 2:17 pm

No, but I’ve come close. Because when you are hassled, sleep-deprived, rushed, and running on autopilot as you’re juggling seven tasks, six grocery bags, two sets of keys, one purse, one backpack or briefcase, and two phones while planning three meals (tonight’s supper and tomorrow’s breakfast and lunch), it’s a miracle if you DON’T forget something. Sleep deprivation has an effect on the brain similar to alcohol intoxication, but there is no breathalyzer test for fatigue.

amother

Lilac

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 3:10 pm

I have the Clever Elly. I actually just recently bought it. It announces a reminder when your motor is turned off. Only problem I have is my motor doesn’t fully turn off until I open my car door which kind of defeats the purpose bec the message is playing as I’m closing the door. Not everyone’s car is like that. The idea is great!

amother

Taupe

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 3:16 pm

I think one of the reasons it happens is because people have to put the car seat in the back seat and facing backwards. I know it's supposed to be safer that way, but given how many times people have left kids in the car, maybe they should rethink which is the more unsafe.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 3:25 pm

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

It's far more likely for a parent to get into a car accident than to forget a child in the car.

gamanit

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 3:36 pm

I think I post the exact same thing every time these threads come up. I'm always afraid it will happen to me so I put my left shoe in the back of the car whenever I'm driving kids. I can easily forget my purse or my phone but I won't accidentally walk around wearing only one shoe.

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 3:54 pm

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

It never happened to me bh. however, I put this really annoying app on my phone, that rings every time I turn off my engine and leave the car. it's really really really annoying to have to manually turn it off, but I rather be annoyed every single time than chas vshalom leave a kid in the car.

Soooo cool!! What app is it?!

Rappel

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 4:13 pm

I used to think that only irresponsible parents were at risk. Until it happened to the grandchild of my friend. He didn't make it. Crying

I spoke to my friend afterward, and she said that her daughter in law is a great mom, and super responsible. She said that it wasn't her fault, and it could happen to anyone. Only then did I truly believe it.

Last edited by Rappel on Wed, Jul 24 2019, 2:44 am; edited 1 time in total

Amarante

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 4:26 pm

Did anyone see the documentary (I think Dateline) on the man who deliberately left his son in the car because he wanted to live a childfree existence? The man was Justin Harris and it happened in Georgia during the summer of 2014.

It was impossible for it not to have been deliberate as he had stopped for breakfast with the child and then gotten back into the car and driven about a mile to work. He was then caught on the parking lot security footage going back to his car at lunch to drop off something he had bought at lunch. What an evil cowardly person - I assume that he didn't want to deal with child support.

Woman of Valor

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 4:50 pm

Anyone who says "could never happen to me" is even more at risk because they know nothing about how the brain works. With the right combination of circumstances it could happen to the best parents.
Now -- the ones that do it on purpose are evil. Even if just for half a minute. That I completely don't understand.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 5:18 pm

I have had the opposite problem.
I was so used to having my 3 year old in the car with me, that I keep looking at him in the mirror, opening up his door to take him out..
Took me a few days from when I started sending him to daycamp!
I was so used to having a shopping buddy.

amother

Cerise

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 5:26 pm

WindowMagic wrote:

There was a dr Phil episode featuring a guest who left her 2 babies in the car on purpose because she had an interview and couldn't find a babysitter. It was March, so she thought the car wouldn't get too hot, plus she cracked the window open. A lady passed by and heard 2 babies shrieking and called the police. She said the babies were sweating and boiling hot. They arrested the mom.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 5:28 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

Multiple times? That’s concerning.

Once I was with my husband, another time on my own, but I was giving a ride to some people. This has never happened when it was just me. The being out of routine thing is definitely true. In any case in both cases I/we remembered pretty quickly. I'm pretty sure even on very hot days a baby can't die in 10 minutes. (although they would be horribly miserable). In that very long article someone cited babies were left for much much longer.

It wasn't summertime in either case and I live in a very cool climate. (obviously, this could happen on a hot day - but bh those 2 cases were on cool days)

Also, it is true that this was twice in about 20 years of being a mother.

amother

Orchid

Tue, Jul 23 2019, 6:28 pm

Yeah I always assumed it would happen when I was alone in the car. When it’s just me I take precautions
The time I left my dd I had other kids in the car. We were bringing a bunch of stuff some where and we were so busy loading everyone up with their stuff we just didn’t realize dd was asleep in her car seat. And my kids are also so responsible. It just didn’t seem possible we did it. But we did.