"Best things come in small packages" said to a tall person

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amother

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:07 pm

I'm 5'9" and when I was growing up (and indeed when I was fully grown,) one of my aunts used to comment on my height as the first thing she said every time she saw me. She usually said "Haven't you stopped growing yet?" or "How ever much taller are you going to get?!" She would say that even when I was in my 20's.

She is a little shorter than average but not short enough that anyone would think anything of it, and her daughter is about 5'4" so around average.

On several occasions, after commenting on my height, she would turn to her daughter and say "all the best things come in small packages don't they?"

I haven't seen this aunt for a very long time although I have stayed in touch and spoken to her on the phone, but I am going to see her next week.

What would be a good way to reply if she starts with this line again, and more importantly, what should I say if she says it to my oldest daughter (who is tall and is the same age as her granddaughter who is not tall?)

MiracleMama

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:10 pm

"Are you trying to insult me?"

amother

Lavender

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:11 pm

I like to deal with repeat offenders like this by just staring at them, waiting a few moments, then changing the topic in an obvious way when they say these things. They want a reaction, I don't give it, and they can go make themselves frustrated and unhappy about it.

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:12 pm

There is a good comeback, but it only works for a man.

amother

Violet

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:14 pm

she sounds extremely rude and insecure about herself that she needs to make others feel uncomfortable to feel good about herself.

I am 5''8 and also got tons of rude comments from people. Its so silly because 5''8 or 5''9 is not even that tall. My height never bothered me other than that I don't feel comfortable wearing 3 inch heels. I got plenty of dates and married a great guy.

I think you can be straightforward and say its rude to comment on another persons looks and if she says the small packages nonsense you can ask her if she dislikes you for some reason because she obviously doesn't think you are in the "best" category. I think being very direct can highlight to her how obnoxious she is being.

amother

Violet

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:15 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

There is a good comeback, but it only works for a man.

LOL. I guess you can alter it for chest size but its not nearly as snarky

amother

Bronze

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:21 pm

You are right!
I always wish my diamond was smaller, that my house had fewer bedrooms /bathrooms and that my husbands aiver was teeny-tiny.
If only I could be more like you. Teach me your ways. How do I shrink? Do you think they could remove my femors? That would definitely reduce my height by at least a foot!
Please, please help me. It would be such a mitzvah!!!
LOL

PinkFridge

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:22 pm

It almost sounds like she doesn't want the shorter members of the family to feel bad. Either way, clumsy but I don't think malicious.
Next time she says this, remember the chazal that those who are insulted and don't reply can give brachos, and give brachos. Quietly, and even to yourself, but give them.

BetsyTacy

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:23 pm

The only thing I can think of is to turn it into a joke about the "best" things coming in small packages. Something like, "Well it is certainly cheaper than being tall, it is very expensive having my skirts custom tailored. Luckily I am worth it!"

I just was asking if a daughter of an acquaintance is tall like her mom--my thought was, well at least her mom knows where to shop for clothes!

nechamashifra

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:35 pm

act stupid and cheerful.

Her: good things come in small packages

you: aunt bayla I'm glad you brought this up because you've mentioned this in the past and I've been racking my brain trying to understand what you mean by this and the only thing I can come up with is that you're implying that I can't be a good thing since I'm tall? but then I tell myself no that can definitely not be it since what kind of person would want to insult someone else, especially their own niece, every time they see them.
so what are you trying to say?

amother

Denim

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ignore her. Not everything needs a response especially something as stupid as this!

oneofakind

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 3:38 pm

"I can't believe you are still saying that. You must have a complex about being short."

zaq

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 7:15 pm

“Oh, I don’t know—they keep making packages of yogurt and tissues and tuna and chocolate and oj smaller and smaller and nobody seems all that pleased about it.”

amother

Burgundy

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 8:52 pm

"Ouch."

amother

Burgundy

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 8:54 pm

"Aunt Katrina, are you seriously tall shaming?"

Flip Flops

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 9:01 pm

nechamashifra wrote:

I'd love to hear what she'd reply to this one.

honeymoon

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 9:15 pm

Aunt: "Good things come in small packages."

You: "Well, I guess I am the exception to the rule."

PinkFridge

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 9:27 pm

honeymoon wrote:

Aunt: "Good things come in small packages."

You: "Well, I guess I am the exception to the rule."

Classy. Especially when said with a smile.

daagahminayin

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 11:34 pm

I’m so happy you’ve made peace with your height. It’s so inspiring to see your self-acceptance. How brave!

Mevater

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 11:37 pm

daagahminayin wrote:

I’m so happy you’ve made peace with your height. It’s so inspiring to see your self-acceptance. How brave!

I love this.

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