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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
"Best things come in small packages" said to a tall person
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 2:45 pm
I’m 5’1 and would have loved to be at least 5’4. It def does bother me being this short.
My 2 dd’s are following in my footsteps and are both very short. At least 2 -3 yrs behind schedule. (1-5 pct) Every time I ask my peds abt growth hormone he just looks down at me and says, what do u expect?
I’m really torn. Lately I’ve been hearing more and more people going down the hgh route and I don’t know what to do. As someone posted earlier, from what I’ve read and heard, it hasn’t been around long enough to see the health risks years down the line.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 2:50 pm
My dd is a preteen. The dr says she is almost done growing. Shes like 4.9-10. I’m praying she gives a fast growth spurt. Anyone have any tips?
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 3:10 pm
flowerpower wrote:
My dd is a preteen. The dr says she is almost done growing. Shes like 4.9-10. I’m praying she gives a fast growth spurt. Anyone have any tips?


Mine is turning 13 and is even shorter but Thankfully she’s a late bloomer too. I’ve been down the natural path but have yet to see any results. A friend of mine with very tall kids (mom isn’t tall) says her kids eat a lot of protein. Like a lot. And stretching exercises when waking up.
Honestly, I need tips too......
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 3:23 pm
flowerpower wrote:
My dd is a preteen. The dr says she is almost done growing. Shes like 4.9-10. I’m praying she gives a fast growth spurt. Anyone have any tips?


Please go to an endocrinologist ASAP. The window for girls is much smaller than the window for boys.
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 3:25 pm
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
I’m 5’1 and would have loved to be at least 5’4. It def does bother me being this short.
My 2 dd’s are following in my footsteps and are both very short. At least 2 -3 yrs behind schedule. (1-5 pct) Every time I ask my peds abt growth hormone he just looks down at me and says, what do u expect?
I’m really torn. Lately I’ve been hearing more and more people going down the hgh route and I don’t know what to do. As someone posted earlier, from what I’ve read and heard, it hasn’t been around long enough to see the health risks years down the line.


There's nothing wrong with being 5'1. I'm 5'1 and really totally fine... as are lots of women.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 3:32 pm
How can you say you want to be taller if you've never been taller than you are now? Taller people used to be shorter, so they know what it's like.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 4:04 pm
Wow, this thread took an unexpected turn.

Since this is a manners and ettiquette forum, I want to say that the responses saying "I'm shorter than 5'8 and would never want to be that tall" are particularly inapropriate given that I have stated that I have always disliked being tall and in fact it prevented me from persuing my career of choice. I have always felt unattractive and unfeminine because of my height, but I made peace with it long ago. What can I do? It is what it is and I can't change it.

I understand that there are both tall and short people who are happy with their height and tall and short people who wish they were taller/ shorter.

The things with my aunt, it's a throwaway comment. She thinks she is being clever and funny when she points out how tall I am for the billionth time, but the passive aggressive comments to her daughter are really said in a way that indicate she thinks I am smug, self adoring and just generally think I am better than everyone else just because I am tall. It is this that I find offensive, the intention behind the comment rather than the comment itself.

As I mentioned in my OP, it is my 7 year old daughter who I want to protect against negativity towards her height.
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Blue jay




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 4:12 pm
Op,

I would just say in a casual way: “ Ah auntie, we come in all sizes in our family and we are all beautiful.”

Let your dd hear your confidence. That’s all. Then tell your aunt she looks wonderful because I think she is the one fishing for compliments.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 4:15 pm
If you want to be nice, warmly tell her that it's so true and that she is no exception to that. If you want to be mean, tell her you both prove that adage wrong.
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amother
Puce


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 4:17 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Wow, this thread took an unexpected turn.

Since this is a manners and ettiquette forum, I want to say that the responses saying "I'm shorter than 5'8 and would never want to be that tall" are particularly inapropriate given that I have stated that I have always disliked being tall and in fact it prevented me from persuing my career of choice. I have always felt unattractive and unfeminine because of my height, but I made peace with it long ago. What can I do? It is what it is and I can't change it.

I understand that there are both tall and short people who are happy with their height and tall and short people who wish they were taller/ shorter.

The things with my aunt, it's a throwaway comment. She thinks she is being clever and funny when she points out how tall I am for the billionth time, but the passive aggressive comments to her daughter are really said in a way that indicate she thinks I am smug, self adoring and just generally think I am better than everyone else just because I am tall. It is this that I find offensive, the intention behind the comment rather than the comment itself.

As I mentioned in my OP, it is my 7 year old daughter who I want to protect against negativity towards her height.


Wow. 5'8 is so feminine - look at models - most are much taller than 5'8 and so feminine.
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amother
Puce


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 4:24 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
I would actually appreciate if you would lock it. I am a tall woman, and reading everyone write that they would NEVER want to be my height, or over 5' 7" is making me feel like an ugly freak. I know it's a very sensitive spot, but I feel like a teenager again, being shamed for being different than the feminine norm. I am actually crying, which I am a little embarrassed to admit. So please just let's stop the discussion, thank you.


What???? Ugly freak? No way! The taller, the more beautiful! Please embrace this! Every inch just adds more beauty! Why do you think models are tall and not short? Please do not cry. You're gorgeous and feminine! I'd pay money to be 5'8!
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 5:26 pm
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
There's nothing wrong with being 5'1. I'm 5'1 and really totally fine... as are lots of women.


I’m glad u are totally fine. I am allowed to want to be taller though, am I not? I’m the shortest in my family, extended family and the family I married into. I never said I’m miserable but I always wanted to be taller. And Nowhere have I written that this implies to all short women.
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 6:25 pm
amother [ Puce ] wrote:
What???? Ugly freak? No way! The taller, the more beautiful! Please embrace this! Every inch just adds more beauty! Why do you think models are tall and not short? Please do not cry. You're gorgeous and feminine! I'd pay money to be 5'8!


Thank you, I really appreciate that.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 6:58 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
What a dismissive and insensitive post. Imamother Burgundy said she was feeling hurt. She feels hurt whether or not you think she “should” feel that way. Please show some compassion. This is exactly why I agree with her that this thread needs to be locked.

Wow. Can't believe I was attacked. Some women here can be really nasty and hurtful. I especially went out of my way to quote imamother burgundy to make her feel better. That beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and there's no reason she should feel bad because some posters on here are making tall people feel bad. A post that I thought was innocent and nice, to make someone feel better.
I'm so not understanding this attack. And it certainly has been very hurtful to be judged and attacked when I've done the opposite of what I was accused of. I should really get off imamother.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Sat, Jul 27 2019, 3:16 pm
There really are some people who think that being tall makes them somehow superior. The first time someone said this, I thought she was kidding. How can you be proud of something out of your control?

Maybe your aunt has been subjected to this kind of attitude, and this is her response. It's still incredibly inappropriate and you should call her out on it.

Try, "I'm sorry, do you have a problem with how Hashem created my daughter? I think she's wonderful. Special people come in all sizes, don't you think?"
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amother
Purple


 

Post Sat, Jul 27 2019, 3:53 pm
nchr wrote:
No. It just seems, in my experience, that a person who admits to being short and still claims that even if given the option to safely increase height would still stay short is lying through her teeth or clueless. I don't have any prejudice toward shorter individuals. I was stating statistics, although many of them are a result of the fact that the higher your socio economic class, the more likely you are to be taller due to access to vaccines, proper nutrition, rest, schooling, etc. However, there are more benefits to being tall than to being short and I truly believe anyone who complacently says she wishes to stay short is lying. Embracing your own body and loving yourself does not mean that if given the option you wouldn't change it. No one is perfect, and just because you have something doesn't mean it cannot be considered a negative attribute.


Lol. I'm 5"2 and have never thought of it as negative at all. Really not clear why you assume that everyone prefers to be tall.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jul 29 2019, 10:13 am
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
There really are some people who think that being tall makes them somehow superior. The first time someone said this, I thought she was kidding. How can you be proud of something out of your control?


I think you can be proud of something out of your control but that is a different thing. Are you proud of being Jewish? You can be proud of something without thinking it makes you superior.

I'm sure there are some tall people who think their height makes them superior, but that's got nothing to do with me. There is nothing about my persona which could make another person think that I am like that.

There are also short people who think they're superior. There is no correlation between arrogance and height.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Mon, Jul 29 2019, 11:36 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I think you can be proud of something out of your control but that is a different thing. Are you proud of being Jewish? You can be proud of something without thinking it makes you superior.

I'm sure there are some tall people who think their height makes them superior, but that's got nothing to do with me. There is nothing about my persona which could make another person think that I am like that.

There are also short people who think they're superior. There is no correlation between arrogance and height.


I'm not proud of having been born Jewish. I'm grateful.

And I was talking about someone who truly thinks that tall people are better than short people. The arrogance there is height related. To be fair, she's dark but genuinely believes that blue-eyed blondes are superior.

I'm not saying that you are like that in any way. But if you're short and spend a lot of time hearing not-so-nice remarks about your size, you can get a little cranky. Kind of the way you feel when your aunt makes her comments.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 29 2019, 11:50 am
You are proud not because you are put in those circumstances but for what you do with your circumstances.
There is such a thing as healthy pride. (Just talking in general.)
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Mon, Jul 29 2019, 1:47 pm
Hey OP, I'm a fellow tall woman. I've been following this thread since you started it and think you were given good advice on responding back to this rude family member. But now that its derailed, I wanted to chime in with my own experience.
I grew up in a tall family, with tall parents and tall siblings. It was always considered a GOOD thing. And I always associated my height as being feminine and model-esque. When it was time for shidduchim, I never had difficulty. Men, even those several inches shorter, were interested. There are many men who have a preference for tall women.
When I do get the occasional comment on my height, its mostly positive or neutral. Because it was a positive experience being tall growing up, I dont understand the (very rare) negative comments and I can only say they come from jealousy or the other person's own poor self image. The advice you got initially is good. Its important to say something because of your daughter. You want her to feel positive about her height. I'm so glad I grew up always associating my height as being a positive attribute. Do that for your daughter too!
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